total-recoil
Well-Known Member
There's a girl I'm really fond of. We used to cycle together and chat. She's also amazing as she once stuck up for me like you wouldn't believe. I mean, a terrific friend who would risk her own popularity to help those she's loyal to.
Recently she got hurt. Her boyfriend met someone else and now she's in limbo. I was there to assure her we all get rejected and that I thought she was terrific and that her boyfriend had lost out big time ditching her.
You would think at this point we would be getting together closer. However, it hasn't worked out that way at all.
Here's where it gets to be a soap opera: I myself am plain scared of rejection. I fear it would screw me up for a while emotionally. I also fear I could get used unintentionally as a temporary till someone better and younger comes along. Even worse we are total opposites. She is very extrovert and easily functions within a normal environment so has a very steady job and everything a girl could want. I, on the other hand, have a whole lot going for me but simply don't function at all well in a normal environment. So, even though I know it's silly, I can't help but see myself as a failure and not good enough. Even worse I beat myself up and think why would a girl who has it all want to hook up with a guy who's not fitted in? And this has in the past broken up my relationships.
So, I tried walking away a bit like Peter Parker from M.J. in Spiderman. Seemed an easy enough solution, cut and run. However, she then texts me to say she misses me. Her friends have also in the past sought me out to ask why I'm not calling to see her where she works. Then I sort of feel awkward and go and see her and she's like really happy and beaming. And then the weird part is she seems to lose interest so the more I see her to say "Hi!", the more she seems to just relate to me as anybody else. I also feel she ignored me a bit if somebody else is there but that's probably my imagination. So, then I disappear again and figure women are kind of illogical and then she'll text to say, "I miss you!" and we're back to alternating cycles.
She asked me out on a date. I figured that was it but was apprehensive. Then it seemed as if she wasn't so sure as didn't text me the day before to see if I'd definitely turn up. So, I didn't turn up. Don't think she did either.
Soooooo, at this point in time, my take on it is this:
(1) She cares about me as a friend and is just making sure I'm O.K. as maybe my family told her I've been withdrawn a lot (trying to figure out stuff).
(2) She's playing a kind of game to test me out as secretly she enjoys a guy giving her attention.
(3) She's still hurt after her breakup and is maybe using me for comfort zone without realising it.
Anyway I can't handle it. Don't think I can possibly handle being just a friend and then seeing her find another guy as a boyfriend with myself left in the proverbial lurch as second best. Yes, ego is a factor too.
To be honest, it's hard to imagine such a huge soap drama as what's being played out. It's hardly Titanic material is it?
Recently she got hurt. Her boyfriend met someone else and now she's in limbo. I was there to assure her we all get rejected and that I thought she was terrific and that her boyfriend had lost out big time ditching her.
You would think at this point we would be getting together closer. However, it hasn't worked out that way at all.
Here's where it gets to be a soap opera: I myself am plain scared of rejection. I fear it would screw me up for a while emotionally. I also fear I could get used unintentionally as a temporary till someone better and younger comes along. Even worse we are total opposites. She is very extrovert and easily functions within a normal environment so has a very steady job and everything a girl could want. I, on the other hand, have a whole lot going for me but simply don't function at all well in a normal environment. So, even though I know it's silly, I can't help but see myself as a failure and not good enough. Even worse I beat myself up and think why would a girl who has it all want to hook up with a guy who's not fitted in? And this has in the past broken up my relationships.
So, I tried walking away a bit like Peter Parker from M.J. in Spiderman. Seemed an easy enough solution, cut and run. However, she then texts me to say she misses me. Her friends have also in the past sought me out to ask why I'm not calling to see her where she works. Then I sort of feel awkward and go and see her and she's like really happy and beaming. And then the weird part is she seems to lose interest so the more I see her to say "Hi!", the more she seems to just relate to me as anybody else. I also feel she ignored me a bit if somebody else is there but that's probably my imagination. So, then I disappear again and figure women are kind of illogical and then she'll text to say, "I miss you!" and we're back to alternating cycles.
She asked me out on a date. I figured that was it but was apprehensive. Then it seemed as if she wasn't so sure as didn't text me the day before to see if I'd definitely turn up. So, I didn't turn up. Don't think she did either.
Soooooo, at this point in time, my take on it is this:
(1) She cares about me as a friend and is just making sure I'm O.K. as maybe my family told her I've been withdrawn a lot (trying to figure out stuff).
(2) She's playing a kind of game to test me out as secretly she enjoys a guy giving her attention.
(3) She's still hurt after her breakup and is maybe using me for comfort zone without realising it.
Anyway I can't handle it. Don't think I can possibly handle being just a friend and then seeing her find another guy as a boyfriend with myself left in the proverbial lurch as second best. Yes, ego is a factor too.
To be honest, it's hard to imagine such a huge soap drama as what's being played out. It's hardly Titanic material is it?
