GhostWriter
Active Member
Well, like you I find it tiring being around large groups of people, be they just acquaintances, friends or family. And when I have to endure this situation for more than maybe 2 hours & can't retreat, I tend to drink more than my usual 2 cocktails & 2 glasses of wine mixed with club soda.
BUT I have never started drinking first thing in the morning, never gone to work drunk or had Any employment problems related to alcohol. I spent 8 nights in the hospital recently with NO alcohol whatsoever & suffered no 'withdrawal symptoms'. I enjoy a cocktail as a prerequisite to Dinner, & wine as a compliment to a good meal. The only time I overindulge is when I am stressed & can't retreat & be myself without offending.
My mother & father were not alcoholics, but my paternal grandfather WAS. The behaviors cited as those of ACA fit with my Dad, who was over- controlling, critical, manipulative, impatient & verbally abusive. I can see that he probably developed at least some of these traits as a way of handling an unstable situation at home, revolving around his father' s drinking.
And being the Firstborn, I picked up a very healthy dose of that behavior without even realizing it! I guess I also found ways of my own to deal with him, like avoiding him as much as possible, giving only very short answers to questions, keeping my 'thoughts' & ideas to myself & trying pretty much to make him love me.. Even failing at things because he had said I would. And there was NO CHANCE of winning an argument with him- he would beat you verbally into the dust!
But then there were the Other behavioral Oddities- always feeling/ being the Odd man out, having no friends except imaginary ones, a 'strange' sense of humor, not understanding WHY dolls were so attractive to little girls & babies to big girls when I preferred building houses for dolls or playing with toy trucks, that actually DID what the real ones did even though they were miniatures. (Unlike dolls, that Did Not!). Also, VERY sensitive to Loud Disagreeable noises, good memory for details, patterns, lyrics & music. Kind of klutzy, with a bad habit of picking at my fingers. Most of all I seem to NEED a lot of Down Time to cope with Life & deal with Not being able to be my real self most of the time.
BUT I have never started drinking first thing in the morning, never gone to work drunk or had Any employment problems related to alcohol. I spent 8 nights in the hospital recently with NO alcohol whatsoever & suffered no 'withdrawal symptoms'. I enjoy a cocktail as a prerequisite to Dinner, & wine as a compliment to a good meal. The only time I overindulge is when I am stressed & can't retreat & be myself without offending.
My mother & father were not alcoholics, but my paternal grandfather WAS. The behaviors cited as those of ACA fit with my Dad, who was over- controlling, critical, manipulative, impatient & verbally abusive. I can see that he probably developed at least some of these traits as a way of handling an unstable situation at home, revolving around his father' s drinking.
And being the Firstborn, I picked up a very healthy dose of that behavior without even realizing it! I guess I also found ways of my own to deal with him, like avoiding him as much as possible, giving only very short answers to questions, keeping my 'thoughts' & ideas to myself & trying pretty much to make him love me.. Even failing at things because he had said I would. And there was NO CHANCE of winning an argument with him- he would beat you verbally into the dust!
But then there were the Other behavioral Oddities- always feeling/ being the Odd man out, having no friends except imaginary ones, a 'strange' sense of humor, not understanding WHY dolls were so attractive to little girls & babies to big girls when I preferred building houses for dolls or playing with toy trucks, that actually DID what the real ones did even though they were miniatures. (Unlike dolls, that Did Not!). Also, VERY sensitive to Loud Disagreeable noises, good memory for details, patterns, lyrics & music. Kind of klutzy, with a bad habit of picking at my fingers. Most of all I seem to NEED a lot of Down Time to cope with Life & deal with Not being able to be my real self most of the time.