• Welcome to Autism Forums, a friendly forum to discuss Aspergers Syndrome, Autism, High Functioning Autism and related conditions.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Private Member only forums for more serious discussions that you may wish to not have guests or search engines access to.
    • Your very own blog. Write about anything you like on your own individual blog.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon! Please also check us out @ https://www.twitter.com/aspiescentral

Advice needed, NT male dating ASD female with PDA subset. Getting ghosted?

Berushka said:
By the way, I appreciate your attitude, it shows you really care for her. I think not every man is as caring as you :blush:
Click to expand...
Thanks. I really do care about her and want to be respectful of her needs as well as clearly communicating mine. If I didn't care as much as I do I would simply move on.
 
Last edited:
Tmontana said:
Without getting into details I will say there was quite a bit of physical contact on the 2nd date, the 2nd date was actually at my house. Even though this was just our 2nd date, we had spent quite some time texting and getting to know each other's likes/dislikes on the physical end of the things.


Thanks. I really do care about her and want to be respectful of her needs as well as clearly communicating mine. If I didn't care as much as I do I would simply move on.
Click to expand...

Because physical touch is something very intensive, we need time to cope with that. I think that getting to know each other via texting is a very good idea at the start, but seeing that she didn't cut the rope right now, it seems she wants to continue. It's possible (I am guessing from my own experience) that if she checks now that you are mentally and now even physically compatible with each other, she might seem scared. As Aspychata wrote, relationships are frightening for us. For example, I was texting and video calling with my partner for a year before we moved into something more (physical touch), because I needed to get him know better, if he's a decent guy and whether he is worth it.

I'll tell you another thing. Not sure whether Vicky feels this the same way, but generally autistic people tends to be honest, they don't like playing any kind of manipulative or psychological games. If I was in her stead, I'd appreciate your concerns, just tell me how you feel, what are you thinking about and what makes you upset/overthinking/sad...? Not to make her feel bad (of course, otherwise that would be a disaster), but she should know, how that makes you feel.

If you want, you can write me personal message and we can be in contact, if you'd need any more help. You know Vicky the best and I'm sure you'll try to make the best of this relationship. I think that Vicky going on a date with you is a big indication, that it's worth trying :blush:
 
It's unfortunate that she seems to be passing you up. You sound like the perfect person for an autistic person to be with.
 
My having just now found out what the "PDA subset (sub-type)" is, my suggestion to you is cut bait and move on.
 
Think as many has probably posted here before. PATIENCE is key. We can have an amazing few days or weeks. We then hit a stage where everything and everyone is just way too much. This is where we go silent. Constantly text'ing, intentions being concern, it does not come over as such. It comes over as very intrusive when we hit that strong introvert stage of just trying to shrink and get away. Again, be patient, it will all come back up again.
 
So I sent a message the other day that was nice and short and basically said I'd love to hang out again and don't need any explanations. Will update if they ever respond. Thanks to everyone for their words of advice.
 
Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.

New Threads

Top Bottom