Adjusting to Change

[DogzSpirit]

Some change is good, like an adventure. I like that.

I feel like in the past I was the master of change, remaking myself to live in a different place, or redefining of myself.

As life goes on, I. am getting more and more scruffed up. At least for me, life has been brutal at times. I imagine that is the same for others, but ya know with social media these days, you only see a perky little picture that someone paints of their lives. People hide what they are challenged with, and I do keep that in mind that all of us are struggling to some point.

Loss, health challenges, even growing older and being perceived by society in a certain manner can take one aback. Due to my Aspie wiring, I have had lots of experience in that being perceived and the ageism I have noticed well it in itself is not enough to floor me, especially since I am active and able to enjoy recreational activities.

Loss is the biggest issue for me. How to remake my life without important souls continuing on this journey with me. That makeover I used to do so spontaneously, and with those beings by my side, well it now has to happen in a more, how would you say, lonely yah, solo, yup manner.

So I will do it, but it really feels like it's not just for joy this time, or out of the fact I have evolved, but rather for my survival.

I don't want to be pessimistic so I am pushing back several emotions.

I guess change falls into the category of:

1)Fun

2)It's time, that other way no longer fits.

or

3)Survival

Sometimes it's a combination of all three eh? For yes, life can be brutal and pushback is needed.

I provided empowerment service to Senior Citizens for many years. I was able to motivate them to improve outlook and life, in 8 out of 10. I became friends with many of them, and knew of the reasons for their strengths and weaknesses.

Up till now, I have been rather good at self encouragement.

I have the gut feeling this is an all or none wall I am hitting here, and I am going to have to do something rather extreme to regain my emotional footing.

A cousin who became nervous in the US, left for a Greek Isle. I won't be a naysayer to her, but my goodness yeah that is one extreme if not for the PM. 2.5 air hitting 100 dangerous levels there. Another person went to another country that is burdened with terrorist issues and again bad air. I already know from my stay in Mexico as an expat, a new place doesn't fix things, and sometimes presents new challenges. For Mexico it was healthcare was lacking (for not only me but my dogs) and safety for my dogs presented. It was an expat area that was rather safe, but ah that only means the danger isn't visible in the normal ways.

So for now, after this 'loss' we will travel to live in another state. It has potential... shrugs... and great trails to bike and hike on.

How have others dealt with life change, loss of those dear to you, and feeling displaced and/or alone.

I am sure that I can do this remake, but I kinda realize it won't fix all (emotionally) and won't be a lighthearted remake, like in the past.

This happens as we get older. The challenges are upped over time. I knew this.

 

[the_tortoise]

How have others dealt with life change, loss of those dear to you, and feeling displaced and/or alone.

The only not-depressing answer I have is: best I can.

 

[Outdated]

How have others dealt with life change, loss of those dear to you, and feeling displaced and/or alone.

Life change I've had aplenty but I don't feel loneliness or loss. Out of sight out of mind, I simply don't notice when people drop out of my life.

 

[Aspychata]

I think life is just challenges set on top of more challenges. Knowing who to let in my life has been challenging. Deciding what to become to stay financially afloat is another challenge. Trying to figure out Florida's real estate market and what to buy that isn't in a hurricane path or an HOA nightmare, or isn't overpriced is a giant challenge. I guess identifying challenges seems to be key to my well-being.

 

[DogzSpirit]

I think life is just challenges set on top of more challenges. Knowing who to let in my life has been challenging. Deciding what to become to stay financially afloat is another challenge. Trying to figure out Florida's real estate market and what to buy that isn't in a hurricane path or an HOA nightmare, or isn't overpriced is a giant challenge. I guess identifying challenges seems to be key to my well-being.

I can relate to that, for I am always on alert for areas of risk.
That can be exhausting, having a personality like that.
And yes, it is important, but I can say I have likely over done that, for I am feeling a bit burnt out.

The one thing about being older, is the experience you gain to better prepare oneself for all those areas you mentioned. You get just a bit wiser, particularly for vetting of friends.

 

[DogzSpirit]

Life change I've had aplenty but I don't feel loneliness or loss. Out of sight out of mind, I simply don't notice when people drop out of my life.

Some can approach it like that.

Everyone is different, there is no better or worse, just simple differences in wiring.

For me, having my life being about those connections, and making life better for those who I bond with, it is a major strength to share in that mutual support. When loss presents -Take that connection away, well yes there is a void presented in that disconnect.

 

[NDR2]

Change has always been hard for me. Adjusting to change usually involves a lot of emotion.

 

[ra49]

I am all about hope and possibilities, so I am ok with change
But people can rip your heart out without even knowing they are doing it, so trust is an issue for me
My circle is small but precious to me

 

[DogzSpirit]

I don't know (and no need to know) what age group people are who are responding.

I only know after supporting the 60+ population, that connection is vital. When I say connection, I am speaking of the support network that you have in place, for mutual benefit and friendship. The doctors won't really care, and most professionals don't (social workers etc) and I know for fact that makes your inner circle of connections, something that is immense benefit to grow into and beyond those more mature years.

Trust is always an issue, especially with those who are viewed as naive. We on the spectrum may not be naive, I certainly am not, but often that is the impressive I give.

Some will raise their eyebrow, in my saying I hold dear to me connections to my dog, that just recently passed. That dog was service dog quality, and shocked others in his of all things studying others and responding. He saw what mattered in life and was rather wise and compassionate to people in need, at the forefront was myself.

Yet the pain is, those we love don't stay forever. Those are precious, yet short lived mutual support. When broken it is extremely painful.

I've lost people of course via death. Life is very brutal in my opinion. That makes connections and reaching out to others to help them and form an parternship/friendship. It like anything worthwhile takes a. lot work.