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ADHD and Emotional Withdrawal

Discussion in 'Love, Relationships and Dating' started by Ella Spell, Nov 22, 2020.

  1. Moonhart44

    Moonhart44 Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Have you ever hung out with a bunch people, was having a blast, and then, almost mid sentence, u turn off and ur done? ur energy is gone in an instnat?
     
  2. Rexi

    Rexi uwu owo uwu SlightlyFilterless Atheist Science=<3 V.I.P Member

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    I think i have both autism and adhd, yet i have the opposite issue. I tend to make my partners my only interests, and become hostile towards the world and that ends up unhealthy for me, codependent.
     
  3. Rexi

    Rexi uwu owo uwu SlightlyFilterless Atheist Science=<3 V.I.P Member

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    funny how much I can relate to your partner, despite the spectrum thing. I dated multiple people on the spectrum and all of them ended up pulling away after the 'honeymoon phase' , but that seems to be the norm for me even with nts. Some of them eventually said that they were just doing it for me, but it seemed to me that they were more involved in affection.

    Nowadays I don't want marriage, because I don't know when some person will change or cheat. It would be nice but the state makes it too risky besides the fact that people are unreliable by nature. I wouldn't rush if I was you, it seems some of your and your partners needs are opposing. I know how hard it can be to work with these.

    I can't speak for him but what Id really want to hear you say if I was him is that your emotions indeed grew deeper and you love him more and you also feel the bond grow stronger as time goes by as you see you can rely on him more. If you don't feel this way I would feel betrayed/onesided. In that case the resolve would be for me to equal the balance and withdraw my efforts and involvement to match yours. Without equality and mirroring of emotions I would harm myself and automatically you the more I would give. [What this does for you is create intimacy and attraction, and create a sense of fairness for him.] This exercise is super hard for me to do, because of my interest in the person. I never managed to get it right. This also caused significant inability for me to implement consequences to my boundaries being broken.

    'sometimes we can take by giving, and give by taking'
     
    Last edited: Nov 26, 2020
  4. Alexej

    Alexej Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    That's me - very well put @Thinx
     
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