A stressful component in my job.

[Metalhead]

I work as a secretary at a disability advocacy organization. My boss has recently tasked me to make outreach calls to families who we have been keeping in contact with over the past couple of years.

For the most part, it is fairly simple, and I gain some confidence when I hear many people in a row say that things are going well. But, eventually, I end up contacting people where everything in their lives has gone to hell. And since I am the secretary, and not the expert, I hear these horror stories and I really wished that I was able to give them the right answers then and there. Of course, I am supposed to refer these people to the other employees there, so that is exactly what I do. But we are somewhat understaffed and underfunded, and I really am hoping that none of these cases fall through the cracks. I really wish there was more I could do.

Needless to say, this is taking me way outside of my comfort zones.

 

[BraidedPony]

Similar thing happened to me and I had a very hard time listening to people cry and beg for help that I could not provide. I tried to get out of that duty but they wouldnt budge. I decided to retire early with a small pension.
Knowing what I do now about Aspererger’s, I would fight to get off the complaint desk. I would create Excel spreadsheets and make copies, and proofread like crazy and enjoy it, but dealing with desperate people and not being able to help...just more than I could take!
Good luck, I hope you find a solution.

 

[Judge]

I had to deal with something similar in taking a job in the insurance industry. Where the phone would ring every so many minutes with less-than-happy insurance agents wanting something. Often more on a level of negotiation than mere cordiality given my role as a rater and later an underwriter.

It was tough, considering I didn't even like talking on the phone period. But a necessary aspect of my job. Perhaps the worst were policyholders who managed to get a hold of me, who weren't supposed to be able to deal with me directly.

In my own case I simply chose to "soldier through". With time and repetition it became more routine and less stressful.

 

[Nervous Rex]

I had a similar case with some people I had the responsibility to check in with regularly. It wasn't necessarily that their lives were falling apart, so much as they seemed to be deliberately destroying them, then blaming everyone else.

After each visit, I would be drained and distraught the rest of the day. My wife said, "You're taking on their problems like they're your own." She was right. After each visit, I had to tell myself, "They are making their own choices. Their problems are not my problems. I can help with X, but that's it. I'm not going to destroy my life to fix theirs when they don't want it fixed." Thankfully, I no longer have to see them.

Maybe you could get your own mantra. "I'm helping them this way. That is what I'm supposed to do and it's all I can do." You don't have to be callous and uncaring, but you might benefit from some boundaries between your life and other people's problems.