AuroraBorealis
AuuuuuDHD
I often feel somewhat of a fraud when it comes to special interests. It’s true that if I have one at all, it’s gonna be books. As for the rest, I don’t know – I get extremely passionate about things suddenly and will then feel as though I’ll have this interest for the rest of my life, even though it’ll be gone after a few days (if it even sticks around that long). Some things keep returning over and over again, but only stick for a short while each time. Some of those circulating interests include but are not limited to: science, physics, astronomy, animals, Northern fauna and natural phenomenons, certain movies or TV series, certain book series, painting/drawing, mental health, mythology, fantasy (dragons, elves)… aaand that’s all I can think of right now.
While having these interests, they feel all-absorbing. Heck, I sometimes feel almost hypomanic when absorbed in such a thing. I sometimes get so excited about it that I have trouble sleeping. I love being so enthusiastic. But it somehow makes me feel like a fraud when it comes to talking about special interests the way they’re meant for autistic folk. If someone asked me about my special interests, along with books/reading I’d tell them the thing I’m interested in that moment. Not because I’m pretending or want to act as though I have a special interest, but because at that time it genuinely feels all-consuming. But as soon as the next day, that interest can be out of sight, out of mind, and I’ll have hopped onto the next thing.
It’s a bit embarrassing sometimes, because I’ll act a bit silly about it. An example is how during my last phase of space science, I complained to my partner how my mom, after I’d rambled on to her about the topic of space, verbalized confusion because, according to her, I’d never shown that much interest in the topic. I got upset because “of course, this is something I’m really passionate about, I’ve always been into space!” Aaaaand yep, a few days later space had completely left my brain, having been replaced by something else all-consuming that “of course had been there all along”.
Can you relate? Hopping from all-consuming interest to all-consuming interest, each feeling like “the one”, some circling back to you on a regular basis but being completely forgotten in-between? Usually the recurring ones are triggered by something to resurface – a movie, a song, a book.
I know I don’t HAVE to have a circumscribed special interest. Interest-hopping is fine. I still am interested in how you see it.
While having these interests, they feel all-absorbing. Heck, I sometimes feel almost hypomanic when absorbed in such a thing. I sometimes get so excited about it that I have trouble sleeping. I love being so enthusiastic. But it somehow makes me feel like a fraud when it comes to talking about special interests the way they’re meant for autistic folk. If someone asked me about my special interests, along with books/reading I’d tell them the thing I’m interested in that moment. Not because I’m pretending or want to act as though I have a special interest, but because at that time it genuinely feels all-consuming. But as soon as the next day, that interest can be out of sight, out of mind, and I’ll have hopped onto the next thing.
It’s a bit embarrassing sometimes, because I’ll act a bit silly about it. An example is how during my last phase of space science, I complained to my partner how my mom, after I’d rambled on to her about the topic of space, verbalized confusion because, according to her, I’d never shown that much interest in the topic. I got upset because “of course, this is something I’m really passionate about, I’ve always been into space!” Aaaaand yep, a few days later space had completely left my brain, having been replaced by something else all-consuming that “of course had been there all along”.
Can you relate? Hopping from all-consuming interest to all-consuming interest, each feeling like “the one”, some circling back to you on a regular basis but being completely forgotten in-between? Usually the recurring ones are triggered by something to resurface – a movie, a song, a book.
I know I don’t HAVE to have a circumscribed special interest. Interest-hopping is fine. I still am interested in how you see it.
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