a former friend and wondering about myself kinda. . .

[paloftoon]

One of my former friends asked me for a C tutor. Then I followed through and he called me a Slave Driver and told me to f-off for expecting him to contact the people I sought out for him.
He told me he was paranoid about people I had never met in-person and I told him he needs risk and not to put his problems on others.

An acquaintance commented on this sarcastically:
“Yeah. When I ask people for favors I try to get as much info beforehand so I can turn in down without guilt lol”


There has been much more subtleness than that but that was more than the final straw for me.


I know I did the right thing for me. I guess I'm kind of wondering why some of my friends become crappy like this and some I'm not as close with as I'd like to be.

Some friendships and such start off as good but then they don't change for the better.
There's more history than what I've put on here, but you can ask me questions if you want.

 

[watersprite]

He told me he was paranoid about people I had never met in-person and I told him he needs risk and not to put his problems on others.

Your acquaintance trusted you enough to tell you, to admit to you he was paranoid.

You might have kind of stepped on the trust a bit by immediately criticizing him for that?

If you don’t want to help with problems (& I totally understand that) just tell them, “I don’t know,” when they ask you for help?

 

[Magna]

I have no idea what a "C tutor" is.

 

[paloftoon]

C is a programming language

 

[paloftoon]

Your acquaintance trusted you enough to tell you, to admit to you he was paranoid.

You might have kind of stepped on the trust a bit by immediately criticizing him for that?

If you don’t want to help with problems (& I totally understand that) just tell them, “I don’t know,” when they ask you for help?

I have no idea what a "C tutor" is.

Except that I did want to help him. He asked me, I followed through. And well, he needs to follow through. He didn't outright tell me. I had to "chase him down" for his lack of a proper response. The fact that I had to chase him down like that, especially having been friends for a few years, was definitely a sign that maybe this is a friendship that should end.