I am trying a self-diagnosis on for size, to see if it fits. It was an odd fit at first, not quite right, but I think I am wearing it in. The more I look into it through the lens of believing I am on the spectrum, the more it feels right. However It never would've felt right if I'd just read these descriptions on these tests. Even the tests reccomended by these forums have their problems.
I'll try to avoid specifics, or else we could be here all day, but my experiences don't match what's on these tests, or in the descriptions of austism that you find in medical resources. An example would be that we're described as not understanding social cues; I understand social cues, I understand what they mean, I just don't know what to do with them. The tests and descriptions imply a level of obliviousness, where I am painfully aware of all this stuff.
Of course, speaking to other people with lived experiences of autism would be a much better way of understanding autism, and therefore understanding if I relate to it.
So, the question is: what question would you put on an autism quiz? What is an autism trait that's often misunderstood, or badly described, that might help undiagnosed people relate to autism?
I completely agree with you on those tests. I would also add, that I think we ourselves are often not the best judges of our abilities. When I took my first test with my then-partner a few years ago, I kept wanting to put my social skills as average, while she was quite adamant they were actually terrible and I look very strange to most people. I just don't realize how offputting I am in person. I also want to be very sure if I'm saying I exhibit some "symptom", and tend to say no if it's borderline as I don't want to give people (or tests no-one but me will see) the wrong idea. Another problem I have with many of the tests is that they have a sliding scale of answers, where you can be "somewhat sure" or "very sure". I never know what criteria to use when answering and since I tend to have dull emotions I check the more subdued box.
I'm also very much a "technically correct" type of person, instead of looking at the intention behind the questions. One question I remember from RAADS-R went something like "do you like dinner conversations?" My thinking went something like "well, I like conversations, and especially listening to other and having something to do while I eat, so sure". However, on thinking about it later, I much prefer speaking with people without having my mouth full most of the time and tend to be very silent when eating since I'm focusing on the food, and have even have people comment on it. So yes, technically I like dinner conversations since I like eating and talking (which is why I responded yes), but I still much prefer it if they are separate activities which is probably what they actually wanted to know.
I tend to be in the borderline range of the results, but I really think it's because of how the quizzes are constructed. I always feel very unsure about whether my answers are the correct ones and if I am understanding the questions correctly, and think it would really help having a professional to discuss each question with before answering. It would be even better if they could have a conversation with me and then fill the questionnaire in themselves based on our discussion.
One of my problems with the tests (and one you identified) is how they don't make the distinction between intuitively and logically understanding something. There's a lot of stuff I understand and don't really have a problem with now, but it's because I've deliberately trained myself to think differently, and perhaps came to an understanding from a different route from most of the population. However, most quizzes ask "do you understand x" rather than "are you frustrated/annoyed/bemused by x" which describes my thinking much better.
I see a lot of anecdotes which are weirdly common among autists, and is ultimately what I relate to the most. Some of them might be "do you tend to walk quickly?", "do you feel as if a pane of glass is between you and the rest of the people in a group discussion?", "do you put a lot of effort into preventing misunderstandings?" or "do you tend to befriend outsiders, the opposite gender or people in a different age range than yourself?". Those anecdotes (including the one
@Outdated came up with just now, which I strongly relate to) are actually what really made me accept being autistic. I also discovered that most of my friends (in isolation, they don't know each other) also suspect they are autistic and harbor even stronger traits than I do. I had been drawn to autists without even trying to because it was so much easier to communicate with them.
So... I guess you can add "Do you make a long-winded explanation with several examples to respond to a simple question?" to your list of questions. In fact, I think having written answers rather than multiple choice would show much more clearly who is autistic.