50/50 Reactions: Creepy/Weird vs. A Nice Person

[Steve A]

I've dealt with people who either thought of me as nice or creepy, I'll explain:

Before college (K-12), I struggled with staring at girls (when I was younger), not being able to connect with my classmates, along with missed social cues. This lead to me being judged from my behaviors, even though I've improved ever since then.

Fast forward to college, even though I found some people that I eventually got along with, I've been falsely labeled as a creep, weirdo, etc. (sometimes for no apparent reason)

When I attend college parties, I normally talk to people, only if I recognize them. If I start a conversation with someone new, then they'll either accept my invite or "excuse themselves to the bathroom" after talking to me for a few minutes, if you get what I'm saying.

I usually act calm & cool at college parties, along with not bringing too much attention towards myself. I also don't initiate conversations out of the blue, unless if I'm standing next to someone or waiting in the bathroom line. I basically just talk to people only if I feel like it. Yet, I still somehow get judged for little to no reason at all, even though I never act "inappropriate" towards anyone. It's probably a mix of my past mistakes, along with some of my high school alumni at my college.

In simpler terms, people react differently in certain situations, especially under the influence of drugs/alcohol. What may not seem like a big deal to me may be for them, vice versa.

 

[tree]

I have only your words to make a picture for me.
And it looks as if you're saying that there is something about
the way you behave that gives people the wrong idea about you.

Here for example:
"...even though I found some people that I eventually got along with,
I've been falsely labeled as a creep, weirdo, etc. (sometimes for no apparent reason)"
The word "sometimes" implies that there have been reasons which were apparent.

Two more examples:
"I still somehow get judged for little to no reason" What do you feel the *little* reasons were?

"...probably a mix of my past mistakes.."
What sort of social errors do you recall causing difficulty in the past?

What were you trying to say with your closing remark, that people react differently under the influence of drugs/alcohol?

 

[Steve A]

I have only your words to make a picture for me.
And it looks as if you're saying that there is something about
the way you behave that gives people the wrong idea about you.

Here for example:
"...even though I found some people that I eventually got along with,
I've been falsely labeled as a creep, weirdo, etc. (sometimes for no apparent reason)"
The word "sometimes" implies that there have been reasons which were apparent.

Two more examples:
"I still somehow get judged for little to no reason" What do you feel the *little* reasons were?

"...probably a mix of my past mistakes.."
What sort of social errors do you recall causing difficulty in the past?

What were you trying to say with your closing remark, that people react differently under the influence of drugs/alcohol?

Some people think that acting slightly reserved at parties is abnormal. I'm not the type of person to talk to everyone or dance all the time, I like to enjoy the overall scene, even if that means staying in one place from time to time.

Little Reason: People will either ignore you or label you as "weird" for trying to join their circle/clique or friends. Even though I don't force potential friendships on everyone, I still enjoy small talk here & there. In simpler terms, people either accept or slowly reject you, depending on the situation. Believe it or not, even though I've met people in the past, I didn't expect to become friends with them.

Social Errors: Not fully understanding verbal/non-verbal social cues, even though I'm starting to pick up on some.

Drugs & Alcohol affect people in different ways: physically, socially, emotionally, & even mentally (mood swings)

 

[tree]

I understand that you are saying people react differently to alcohol and various drugs.
In what ways have you found these differences to impact your forays in social activities?

 

[aspieoutlaw89]

I've dealt with people who either thought of me as nice or creepy, I'll explain:

Before college (K-12), I struggled with staring at girls (when I was younger), not being able to connect with my classmates, along with missed social cues. This lead to me being judged from my behaviors, even though I've improved ever since then.

Fast forward to college, even though I found some people that I eventually got along with, I've been falsely labeled as a creep, weirdo, etc. (sometimes for no apparent reason)

When I attend college parties, I normally talk to people, only if I recognize them. If I start a conversation with someone new, then they'll either accept my invite or "excuse themselves to the bathroom" after talking to me for a few minutes, if you get what I'm saying.

I usually act calm & cool at college parties, along with not bringing too much attention towards myself. I also don't initiate conversations out of the blue, unless if I'm standing next to someone or waiting in the bathroom line. I basically just talk to people only if I feel like it. Yet, I still somehow get judged for little to no reason at all, even though I never act "inappropriate" towards anyone. It's probably a mix of my past mistakes, along with some of my high school alumni at my college.

In simpler terms, people react differently in certain situations, especially under the influence of drugs/alcohol. What may not seem like a big deal to me may be for them, vice versa.

i can relate to that because some of them may tend to do that to me,especially out on the street upon eye contact & flirt afterwards,thinking that i'm cute i just avoid them like a ninja out of fear of being given dirty looks,also upon eye contact,especially by those,including women with angry eyebrows ,because of how dangerous they are.

 

[unperson]

I'm a woman and I can relate, I'm a creepy weirdo and/or someone to be exploited to them. The hive mind knows we're not part of it.

 

[Aspychata]

You can't really judge college set crowd. Everybody is there for all different reasons. Some people punk other people for no reason at all. I wouldn't be so hard on yourself. We truly never fit in everywhere we go. Probably based on just mathematical odds, you will fit in 45-55 percent of places like college, jobs, etc. There is no perfect formula. Maybe find a passion and let that carry you thru life.

Nobody fits in eveywhere, doesn't matter if you are on or off the spectrum. It's just a fact.

 

[tducey]

Not everywhere will accept you, find a group that accepts you for you.

 

[Steve A]

I understand that you are saying people react differently to alcohol and various drugs.
In what ways have you found these differences to impact your forays in social activities?

Sorry for responding a few years later, I took a break and decided to come back...

But to answer your question, ever since I turned 21, my cousin and some of our friends started going out to bars in a nearby city close to where I live (Pittsburgh). We always went out for birthdays, New Years Eve, or whenever we felt like going out depending on our work schedules and availability. However, we didn't go out every weekend since that would've hurt all of us financially, in my opinion.

As of today, our friend group has increased since we all started introducing our friends after I invited my cousin to join me to go out since my friend was celebrating his birthday that night. They're currently dating as of last month.

Furthermore, I never had any issues whenever I went out in Pittsburgh with my friends, since no one didn't recognize me since my college was located in a small town, which meant that I went out almost every weekend since there wasn't much to do besides partying and hanging out with friends during the weekends. We only had two bars, a bowling place, and a couple restaurants.

Finally, I'd say that my social skills and cues have improved during my college years, along with me being exposed to various social settings that have helped me learn how to interact and make/keep friends that I've met during that time. College crowds differ from each other, so you never know how people are going to act, depending on the situation.