Forget the message my mother always hammers into me. I am not bothering people just by existing. I have the right to take care of myself and to not sacrifice myself for anybody who wants to take advantage.
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I miss having a dishwasher.
I really do have a lot to be grateful for. I have a handful of very close friends. I have my own little castle that I can afford. My mental and physical health is a work in progress. Doctor thinks I may be bipolar type 2 on top of being an Aspie, but I’d rather not be one of those who uses a diagnosis as an excuse for bad behavior.
I feel like I want to make enchiladas in mole sauce for myself tonight. Then going to the gym to burn them off tomorrow.
Twisted my ankle at last night’s concert and did not feel it until this morning. I guess slam dancing should remain a young person’s game.
I need to sleep, but insomnia strikes again. Bloody hell.
I want to help be a building block in the lives of others. I want to be an essential stable rock. I want to help others away from liquor. My friends need me. My boss needs me. I am not the bother I was raised to believe I was. My false beliefs have held me back too long.
It is amazing how much money some people have. Some of those college girls were getting plastered on expensive cocktails. I suppose some people can’t enjoy a concert without being drunk, and that is very sad.
Feeling the buzz of having just seen a great live show.
I am at a venue where the concert ticket cost me $22.50 but cocktails cost $17. Another reason not to have a drink.
I feel like I should go out for a cup of coffee or two before my concert begins.
Hope you are doing better today. I notice Friday you end up in your funk. It seems around weekends. Please do self-care. Try not to spiral okay?
I am now convinced that Uber hates their customer base.
Going to a concert tomorrow night in downtown Tacoma. Forget Uber, I will be taking Lyft home instead. I plan an a nice sober evening out.
I just completed a back and forth email with Uber, and they keep on referring me to their terms and services page instead of giving me a straight answer as to why my account is locked. As far as I can tell, I violated none of those terms. All I did with them was try to make a single order on Uber Eats. Their refusal to tell me why my account is locked says a lot about them:
I seriously need some help.
Nothing is pleasurable for me anymore.
Looking at the abyss can feel so comforting sometimes.
20 years ago I was living my dream life. Expenses were less back then, and I could live off SSDI and focus all of my time on my film criticism website. And I was weak enough to let my family bully me into shutting it down. I am a joke, and the punchline sucks. -
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