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Tony Ramirez

Tony Ramirez

V.I.P Member
Alone Aspie grapples fear of unlove and rejection 48 From Brooklyn, NY
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  • Tony Ramirez
    I hate going to some social event and being completely ignored.
    View previous comments…
    Forest Cat
    Forest Cat
    Yeah it can be difficult to talk with people at gatherings. At a social gathering with many people it's not unusual that people get into other peoples conversation. I don't know, it's about engaging people and just talking and making them talk. People who are good at this often have lots of practice/experience.
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    How do I practice if I have no one to talk too most of the time and my mother is bad. Tells me to cut the and get over it. Then gets angry at me.
    Forest Cat
    Forest Cat
    I guess you have to get experience wherever you can. You do go to gatherings where there are many people, so that's a good start. But I know it's difficult, I wouldn't mind being better at it myself.
    Tony Ramirez
    How the heck do NT talk to three people for over 10 minutes once while I can't even talk to one for a minute?
    Tony Ramirez
    Please don't say I am missing on good friendships with men and old people. They might know some one. Trust me their daughter, sister, cousin, friends are all married or in a relationship so stop it.
    Gerald Wilgus
    Gerald Wilgus
    You could use it as a chance to practice being sociable and schmoozing. Learn that with old people and soon you will be schmoozing women.

    The Art of Schmoozing​

    1 Understand the goal. ...

    2 Get out. ...

    3 Ask good questions, then shut up. ...

    4 Unveil your passions. ...

    5 Read voraciously. ...

    6 Follow up. ...

    7 Make it easy to get in touch. ...

    8 Give favors.
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    Good tips. Thanks.
    Gerald Wilgus
    Gerald Wilgus
    Now decide your goal and practice.

    Y'know how we can miss so much, especially about relationships. Here is a great song about that.

    Tony Ramirez
    My family keeps asking if I am going out tonight. I keep saying I have no place to go on Friday nights. It's depressing I have no one to hang out with like a woman on Friday and or Saturday nights.
    Tony Ramirez
    How was your week? Why is that question asked the most? It's hard for us to answer sometimes.
    tree
    tree
    One that gets me is 'what are you doing today? '
    I'm doing what I usually do. What else would I be doing?
    Tony Ramirez
    All old women talked to me today. There was only two old women at yoga class.

    Then on my way home a grandmother complimented me on my green jacket saying we match.

    Really it can't be younger women talking to me.
    View previous comments…
    Forest Cat
    Forest Cat
    Things change, lots of people who are in relationships today will be single next month. I think it's smart to have a big network, to know many people. No matter what their personal status is. People often meet people through someone they know. A friend of a friend or work colleague or whatever.
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    Not if they are married and just had a kid. I encounter a lot of people they know that the woman sister, relative or friend is married.
    tree
    tree
    @Tony Ramirez "...all of their friends and relatives are married or in relationships."
    And like I said to Markness about that, So what?

    Why have such a small heart? Are you not able to enjoy people? Don't brush them
    off as worthless. You might be able to learn from them.
    Tony Ramirez
    The yoga studio I go to is becoming like a second home too me.
    tree
    tree
    You feel comfortable there, in the surroundings and with the teachers.
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    Sometimes I feel uncomfortable around the students since most of the time it's different students. Only one student knows me by name and she is not a regular.

    The teachers I am completely comfortable around and have good communication with them.
    Gerald Wilgus
    Here is progress on the canoe. I am making the botton out of Western Red Cedar. I will do one side to the centerline and then mirror the other side. There is a lot of stress in the wood with curvature in several dimensions. That has slowed progress.
    20230314_154225.webp
    View previous comments…
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    Thought so. Still good to share.
    What is stencil the hull?
    Gerald Wilgus
    Gerald Wilgus
    She has a pattern that is cut out from waxed paper. She will orient it on the hull and use non-running markers to fill in the pattern.

    Here is a canoe I made. The diamond pattern along the side was stenciled onto the wood then covered with fiberglass/epoxy.
    a269f-1044630567-L(2).webp
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    Thanks for explaining.
    Tony Ramirez
    I felt intimidated in yoga class. This attractive woman in class before and during did a three legged dog with her foot high up and bended.

    I was only able to put my leg back and hold it for about five seconds but the teacher said she is still proud of me.
    View previous comments…
    tree
    tree
    It sounds like you're doing fine.
    You can do things now that Tony didn't even used to consider doing.
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    Thanks.
    Gerald Wilgus
    Gerald Wilgus
    You are putting forth the effort, and that is being appreciated. Good going. Now just think. Make such an effort in interacting with people, and I gaurantee that single women will take notice, just as your teacher has. By putting the effort into being relationship material, soon you will be successful in making a connection. Good Luck!
    Tony Ramirez
    My personal journal has gotten a lot of complaints today. Feels good venting.
    Gerald Wilgus
    Gerald Wilgus
    It is good that you are venting to your journal. I hope by doing that you can get those negative feelings out and then act accepting towards people. Being known as a pleasant person would be attractive to people noticing you.
    Tony Ramirez
    Why am I so depressed today? Is it because I could not do a yoga class because they are closed Saturday?
    Gerald Wilgus
    Gerald Wilgus
    Possibly. You are getting positive feedback from your participation and that must be a mood booster for you.
    Tony Ramirez
    I don't know if I should go to church tomorrow. The way I feel now if new or old couples and married woman come up to me I might say something to them I will regret later.
    Gerald Wilgus
    Gerald Wilgus
    You are letting your biases get ahead of you. You have been having successes, especially with Yoga, and I think you need to remember those successes and open yourself to others. Yesterday the boy I am mentoring and I had a great discussion after this scene where the protagonist opens himself up to life and accepting the love of friends and family.
    Gerald Wilgus
    Gerald Wilgus
    I would hate for you to avoid an important part of your life. Just use the confidence you have earned to avoid prejudging people and open yourself up to life. do that and you will be prepared to open yourself to a relationship and perhaps a lover. Small steps . . . start with the people you may otherwise dismiss and grow from there.
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    Thanks. It's just been extra hard this week to think positively. Yoga been helping. However today they are closed.
    Tony Ramirez
    I apologize to the leader of the Thursday life group after my saying last night during group that I want nothing to do with couples or married women. She said even though she is married I hope we can be friends.
    View previous comments…
    Markness
    Markness
    One of my best friends is a married woman.
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    Same here. One of my best friends is a married man. The problem is I try to emulate him. He met his wife at lifegroup so when I go I expect the same. He says I need to change that though.
    Gerald Wilgus
    Gerald Wilgus
    Purge yourself of expectations, that is too ego driven. You must live in the present with the people available to you and appreciate every connection you can make.
    Tony Ramirez
    I had a private class and a private group session at the yoga studio because no one else showed up.
    tree
    tree
    Good for showing up.
    Did you do anything new?
    Tony Ramirez
    My yoga teacher said she is confident I will meet that special someone.
    Gerald Wilgus
    Gerald Wilgus
    I hope that this gives you confidence in noticing when somebody is interested in connecting and you can approach them.
    Tony Ramirez
    I been talking to my yoga teachers like I talk to my therapist and they are great at responding nicely and saying I am a good person.
    Tony Ramirez
    My mother says for my singleness. If it's meant to be its meant to be.
    Hazel_1914
    Hazel_1914
    That could be optimistic (acceptance over pining for what isn't), or it could be something else. I don't know your mom's personality. Try to take it as a positive and keep on improving
    Hazel_1914
    Hazel_1914
    - - because you're really making some major progress on your life
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