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UberScout

UberScout

V.I.P Member
Please Don't Be Mad At Me 02/09/1996 30
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  • UberScout
    Last night was so amazing! I met a girl, and she surprised me! But she let me have her number, and even hugged me goodnight :D don't worry, I'm being careful and taking things slow, I'm just giddy I met somebody after so long :P
    UberScout
    I think the reason Maddog has been like he is lately is probably stress; he HAS been doing better, I think the pattern of "manic-over-fine ratio" is thinning out the manic side, slowly but surely.
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    This is better. But it doesn't excuse him or the horrible abuse you suffered thru. I hope you can continue to maintain and be there for your sister and mom.
    UberScout
    Day 1 officially of integrating ninja techniques as a way to build focus and anxiety control. Been listening to some affirmations/subliminals/binaural/isochronic beats and tones to help it along (lol cheat codes) and most people in those comments sections are saying it's taken them 2-5 days to a week usually to see results, but over here I'm instantly seeing immediate results! Same day! So proud of myself!
    UberScout
    Our internet was down, but one of our checks hit and we got Sophia's computer and Switch back (read: broken port) and our cable's up again. Yay
    UberScout
    Mom and Maddog are practically at war with each other now.
    View previous comments…
    UberScout
    UberScout
    It can still be grounds for a lot of anxiety. I mean wouldn't you be sitting there biting you're nails lol. Though that one goes a little further back with my biological dad. Now HE was the one who constantly butted heads with her but he was a different thing going on.
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    So glad he isn't drinking. It's still an abusive situation you are in. It's never easy. I get that. Wish you could get a break from it.
    UberScout
    UberScout
    Well it's not happening as often as it used to but it's still pretty nerve wracking.
    UberScout
    HERE WE COME, BOY
    REAL REAL SHOOTA KILL
    BETTA RUN, BOY
    AND YOU COULD TELL ME HOW I FEEL
    I COULD BE REAL RICH
    tree
    tree
    What's that about?
    tezzo
    tezzo
    Is that from Lil Jon And The Eastside Boys?
    UberScout
    UberScout
    Maddog showed me a remix/mashup with Eminem's TILL I Collapse and there were like six other rappers, Lil Wayne, Ice Cube, DMX and I think Dr. Dre. Lol that part I wrote is like the best, makes me feel like I'm watching an AMV in my head of some anime protagonist in like a high school fighting bullies and absolutely kicking their butts.
    UberScout
    Okay. So, I managed to find some shake I had leftover in a little bottle that had two prerolls from the smoke shop. Made my day a whole lot more tolerable. And I have a new coping tool; I found my old Digimon I got for my birthday one year, and I have DVpet on my computer till he gets a new battery. This one I just hatched on DVpet is a girl though, which I thought was weird cause I've only hatched boys so far LOL
    UberScout
    UberScout
    Only thing is, ...crap what did I name her again? Oh yeah. Brownie. Brownie is acting weird now. I fed her some meat after she hatched, and got her to train Virus type and then Vaccine type (she knows Foam and Bubble) but now she's like acting sad? But her happiness is full?
    Rodafina
    Rodafina
    Games are better coping tools than pumpkin carvers. Keep searching for the things that really help. Maybe change is in the future.
    O
    Owliet
    I know it’s hard to avoid the temptation but even drawing on yourself with red pen is helpful. I’ve been clean from SH for a few weeks now, and anytime I have the urge, I find something else to do. Start making projects, keep your mind busy with doing something — if video games work for you, use that. Just dont hurt yourself again, its not worth it.
    UberScout
    I HAVE GOT TO STOP MAKING MYSELF SUICIDAL
    Rodafina
    Rodafina
    Strangely, I don’t think you are doing it to yourself and yet you are the one who can make it stop happening. It may take some time and creative effort, but you are not powerless to your own mind and thoughts no matter how controlling they can seem sometimes.
    tezzo
    tezzo
    Sorry to hear that. I definitely know how you feel. I don't know how to help you, but I wish I did.
    UberScout
    UberScout
    @tezzo that's very nice of you, it's okay though. It's not your responsibility. I'm just looking for advice, to be honest.
    UberScout
    I know everyone said I have strength but Maddog is taking that away from me. He came in my room five times today to beat me over and over with a belt. And just like every day there's nothing I can ever do about any of it. I'm going to make sure my birthday doesn't happen.
    UberScout
    UberScout
    I won't let year 27 be another year I get beaten and abused!
    Atrapa Almas
    Atrapa Almas
    Im sorry that you are being abused. You do deserve to experience the good things life has to offer.
    Outdated
    A new toy for you to play with:
    https://www.myabandonware.com/game/black-white-a33
    It seems like a little kid's game at first but it is by far the most brutal and graphic war game I have ever played. If you're using windows you'll probably have to play around with compatibility mode to get it to work for you.
    Outdated
    Outdated
    P.S. I have every available add on that's of any worth and also my own edited worlds if this game interests you. And advice if you get stuck.
    UberScout
    UberScout
    Wait please NO DON'T KILL M--




    ...You didn't kill me?
    UberScout
    UberScout
    Oops, didn't realize the message was for me LOL!

    Oh yeah, I remember this game! An old friend I had showed it to me once.
    UberScout
    Okay. This is gonna sound crazy. But after @Rodafina's reply to my status earlier, I think she's right. Like, for real; I suddenly stopped thinking about death. And it wasn't until after I saw her comment about Aloe, and suddenly I'm feeling healed. There's no doubt about it now. I DID make Aloe real. Somehow.
    View previous comments…
    Atrapa Almas
    Atrapa Almas
    Its important for many things, as an example people with schizophrenia need to understand what is real and what is not, to function properly.

    https://www.psycom.net/schizophrenia-hallucinations-delusions
    People with DID can also function better when they understand their nature and can stablish dialogue and cooperation between alters.
    UberScout
    UberScout
    Hey, I'm just trying to perceive things, you know?
    Outdated
    Outdated
    If you look around in the natural world you will find many creatures that also watch over you. You don't have these in the wild where you live, they are very long lived and very wise and they talk to the spirits. If you talk to them they pay attention, they listen to you. Who knows what they say, but they talk to the spirits.
    SulphurCrestedCockatoo.webp



    UberScout
    [**he doesn't need to think this way.**
    View previous comments…
    Rodafina
    Rodafina
    Yes. You have work to do and you have support behind you. I know Aloe is here but I am not sure how to speak to her. Can you tell her I said thank you for her presence. I did tell her, but I want to make sure she gets the message, please.
    UberScout
    UberScout
    yellow_blue_betta_dragon_by_snowifer_dcz62i3-fullview.webp

    "It's the least I can do. And by the way, if you ever wanna talk, just find somewhere quiet and think about the beach, and just call on me, however you feel you need to."
    Rodafina
    Rodafina
    Okay, got it!
    UberScout
    PSA: Do NOT watch a longplay of Alone in The Dark at 2 AM. Resident Evil will make you afraid of windows; Alone in the Dark made me afraid of DOORS and cracks in the floor.
    Crabcore
    Crabcore
    AITD4 used to scare the holy living hell out of me when I was like 11. Those memories stay with you forever
    UberScout
    UberScout
    Yeah no I thought a zombie coming in the door after the music stops for 5 minutes would scare me, but now I have an irrational fear the floor upstairs DISAPPEARING INTO THIN AIR UNDERNEATH ME.
    THE FLOOR. DISAPPEARED. INTO THIN AIR.
    Aneka
    Aneka
    I once had a super cracy dream where a window appeared on my wall near my bed and I climbed through it. First there was my garden on the other side, suddenly it changed to a strange place with faceless people and triangular houses who wanted me to enter a house.
    UberScout
    I got on Inform 7 and said "screw it, I'm just gonna start my first serious project, and I'm gonna make sure it gets released." Kiyoshi: Honor For Atonement" based on a Sengoku RPG role-playing, has begun production, and this time I will NOT be distracted by things that get my atten-- Oh cool, new American Dad episode!
    UberScout
    Been crazy about learning Japanese recently! And just Japan in general, honestly. I mean I always am but recently the spark has been pretty intense.
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