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Recent content by Wizardry

  1. W

    Want a Relationship but Feel So Unrelatable

    Since my early teens, I've desired nothing more than to experience my first relationship. Unfortunately, poor social skills and difficulties with social cues, a complete lack of relationship role-models and people to turn to for dating advice, and crippling self-doubt about my appeal to the...
  2. W

    Loneliness still affects me

    If the cuddle therapist is happy enough to offer the service, and the client benefits from it, who is anybody else to judge? Touch starvation is a real thing. Not everybody is lucky enough to have a romantic partner to be intimate with. Humans don't seek out intimacy just because. There are...
  3. W

    Loneliness still affects me

    Could you save up money to hire a dating coach? It might take some time, but it could be a life-changing investment. I already have some money saved up so it's likely that I'll start seeing a dating coach before you're able to. If so, I'll let you know how worthwhile I find it. You could start...
  4. W

    Loneliness still affects me

    It's kind of niche and like I said before, most people don't live with the kind of loneliness and touch starvation that we do. The kind of depression that is induced by long-term loneliness and social skills issues isn't the same kind of depression that psychologists and therapists are trained...
  5. W

    Loneliness still affects me

    Fortunately that's not true. As I recall, you live in Temple. This Google Search says there are at least 4 cuddle therapists in that area. If I've got your area wrong, google search "cuddle comfort <your area>" and you should get results. Cuddle therapists are few and far between, but they are...
  6. W

    Loneliness still affects me

    Do you think therapy actually helps you at all? My personal experience with therapy is that it's not useful for helping with dating and social struggles. Most therapists don't have the kind of lived experience we do to understand what the struggles are or how painful the loneliness is. The...
  7. W

    Do I have to become like my older brother?

    The existence of guys who can attract women without being a "jackass" disproves that idea entirely. How many times have you had interactions with a woman that were going positively and subsequently asked them out within the past year? If you can't strike up a conversation with a stranger you...
  8. W

    Do I have to become like my older brother?

    In all likelihood, the reason your brother is more successful at dating is because he's more socially adept than you, not because of aggression, hostility or some other negative trait. Aspies notoriously struggle with social skills and non-verbal communication, which makes it more difficult to...
  9. W

    Things that sabotaged me in terms of romance and more

    It seems like you come from an avoidantly attached family. Learning about attachment styles will help you understand some of your difficulties. I don't think securely attached people have the kinds of difficulties we're having. This is a really good video. Not every point applies to every...
  10. W

    Still single

    If I recall correctly, the one girlfriend you briefly had, you met in a mental health support group. I think a support group is a good idea because you can be upfront about your situation around people who are likely also struggling with their own difficulties, and if someone appears...
  11. W

    I get that autism can make it difficult to make conversation and establish social connections...

    I get that autism can make it difficult to make conversation and establish social connections, but it's unreasonable to expect others to do all the heavy lifting socially. The nature of social interactions is reciprocity, and if one is unwilling to initiate social interactions, one ought not be...
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  12. W

    It would behove you to look at it from other people's perspectives. What is going to motivate...

    It would behove you to look at it from other people's perspectives. What is going to motivate them to initiate a conversation with you? Especially if you're saying nothing and they have no idea what you'd even want to talk about.
    • Wizardry
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  13. W

    Aspie or not, I'd say most people who know each other in a group context are going to prefer to...

    Aspie or not, I'd say most people who know each other in a group context are going to prefer to talk to the people they already know than initiate conversations with people they don't know, so if you're going to these gatherings expecting people to initiate conversations with you just because...
    • Wizardry
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  14. W

    Put yourself in their shoes. If you were in their clique, would you be initiating conversations...

    Put yourself in their shoes. If you were in their clique, would you be initiating conversations with 'outsiders'? Or would you just want to have conversations with people you already know because it's easier, familiar and you already know what to talk about?
    • Wizardry
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  15. W

    Buddy, I'm trying to help you here. I have empathy for your plight. I know what it's like to...

    Buddy, I'm trying to help you here. I have empathy for your plight. I know what it's like to feel like the outsider everywhere you go. I'm just trying to explain to you that waiting for other people to initiate conversation with you all the time is an ineffective social strategy, and will often...
    • Wizardry
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