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Recent content by texkag

  1. texkag

    Utter disconnection and self loathing

    I am working on getting more help from my children at the minute and will be investigating ways to leverage writing as a therapeutic aid as well as a way to connect more with others later today. The interactions I have had here have given me the confidence to explore this further. As I said to...
  2. texkag

    Utter disconnection and self loathing

    As you seem to be having a similar experience to me I urge to do what I did. Start a thread about exactly how you feel and you too will be surprised by the results. The responses I received have made me rethink my approach and realize just how wide of the mark my perceptions about myself are...
  3. texkag

    Utter disconnection and self loathing

    Thank you everyone for your thoughtful contributions. Today I felt something for the first time. I felt the power of community. I also felt some hope as well as a glimmer of possibility. You have been a slot of light on a dark street.
  4. texkag

    Utter disconnection and self loathing

    Again, thank you. You're right. You'd think that I would be more suspicious of my 'depression brain' but it's a slippery eel, it seems impossible to get a grip on it.
  5. texkag

    Utter disconnection and self loathing

    Thank you Gerald. You have reminded me that I am more than my ASD. I have internal work to do, for sure. I can avoid that process no longer. You're right, I have to uncover and root out those lies I tell myself, maybe then i can face the truth square on and live more honestly as a result.
  6. texkag

    Utter disconnection and self loathing

    I am starting to see how the depression has warped my perception of myself. Thank you, and the others for pointing that out. I really needed it.
  7. texkag

    Utter disconnection and self loathing

    Thanks Jim. I do need to look after myself better, I will be no good to my family if I completely burn out. What are Nootropics? I have never heard of them before.
  8. texkag

    Utter disconnection and self loathing

    Thank you for your kind words. Sadly the social care system in the UK is falling apart, but you are absolutely right, I do need a break. I will see if I can arrange for my son or daughter to stay with my wife while I have a day off.
  9. texkag

    Utter disconnection and self loathing

    Thanks Mary. I think you're right. I need to address the depression first. It is the black mind that is interfering with everything else, including how I am perceiving myself. It's the biggest monster in the room and I can't carry on ignoring it.
  10. texkag

    Utter disconnection and self loathing

    Please forgive me if I ramble as I write this but I am experiencing the worst depression of my life, a life characterized by depression. For a long time now I feel like an utterly incompetent human being. Since the tragedy of covid this perception has only gained in strength. I want to be...
  11. texkag

    Coming out to the world

    the world I agree. We are all odd, and those that aren't are quite frankly dull. I watched your video and was impressed by how honest it was. I think that anyone on the spectrum, or any perceptive person, would realise that the delay at the start was you lining your thoughts up. So, from...
  12. texkag

    Coming out to the world

    Yes, I think it's difficult for us to advocate for ourselves as a group because, given our social and communications issues, it's so difficult for us to operate in the real world of social interactions. Was your YouTube video a one-off or did you start a channel? I would be interested to view...
  13. texkag

    Blogging advice

    Thanks. I really appreciate your thoughtful comments.
  14. texkag

    Coming out to the world

    You make some good points. I think I have a lot more exploring to do before I am comfortable in my autistic skin. I was fifty before I was finally diagnosed, so I have spent most of my life simply thinking of myself as a social failure. I think it's fantastic that younger people on the...
  15. texkag

    Blogging advice

    Thanks for letting me know. It's good to know that I'm on the right track.
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