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Recent content by paloftoon

  1. paloftoon

    Still single

    If you can, work on getting a college degree or something from technical school is your best way out. Then you'd be able to get a job where you don't have to live under your mother's roof. Otherwise, you will have to bear the consequences of that. I'm sorry about your situation. Consider...
  2. paloftoon

    Tired of Expectations Being Placed On Me

    This is a difficult balance. Based on your profile name, guessing you are part of the Asian culture. Expectations are all about the Asian culture, even if it's unreasonable. Where expectations are okay and where we need to balance will always be a challenge. What will help is to put yourself...
  3. paloftoon

    I would trade it all

    I would recommend with future women, don't feel pressure to treat. Always split. We are in different times now. Or you can exchange- you treat, then she treats the next time etc. If you do treat, only do with cheap things unless you feel otherwise. I recommend you do at least some cheaper...
  4. paloftoon

    Still single

    "I am busy" is either code for "they don't like you physically" or "they don't like where you are in life." I suspect the single women "don't like where you are in life" if you can sense that you are physically reasonably handsome to the women you try to get to know. I think I have seen a...
  5. paloftoon

    I want to help my sister-in-law - any advice?

    Does she see a therapist? Maybe recommend that to her and I think you just have to be direct with her 1-1, once, but say it as a recommendation- not like she has to do what you suggest or say. If she feels she's in the right, well maybe she is. She's old enough to be responsible for herself...
  6. paloftoon

    How does my cousin do it?

    Some people enjoy low level, casual hang outs and those are not fun to me. Some people will be positive and compliment others even if they don't really think so otherwise. Some people are just naturally inclined to like what others like or try to be reasonably open to others' differences. I...
  7. paloftoon

    Over friendliness is going to lose my friendships.

    It's always a good idea to have a back up plan if you can. If something isn't working out with one person, look for something or possibly someone else to try to hang out with.
  8. paloftoon

    De-tachment in relationships

    I agree with you. There can be exceptions with anything. Otherwise, there would be no women who hook up at all. Most women because of general physicality, culture, and social norms, I agree, due tend to require more emotional bonds whereas men in general want it faster. I used to be...
  9. paloftoon

    Dating relationship help with autism

    Ultimately, who you date should be your decision and same to the person you are dating. Will's mother wants "the best" for her son. So parents will sometimes care and consider every single little thing to a T. She doesn't necessarily love drama, but maybe wants to control her son too much and...
  10. paloftoon

    Is this what social deficits feel like?

    Some potentially helpful thoughts to help you navigate what you want to: 1. If you're not sure how to respond, just say you are not sure what you want besides to work with their company and you want to consider all options and see what they are offering you first. Then, you can see if you...
  11. paloftoon

    College and Job-seeking Advice?

    I am definitely part of multiple marginalized groups. I think the best things I can recommend personally are, if you're open to hanging out and causally socializing with others in public: 1. Prepare yourself (as much as possible) to stand your ground by verbally expressing boundaries when...
  12. paloftoon

    I’m desperate to get married

    I think people in a retirement home would consider you if you are serious and into people of that age.
  13. paloftoon

    Dating relationship help with autism

    I have relatively overbearing parents. The only way to solve this is to accept your place in life and just deal with it and not complain or to move out independently. My parents once told me they would move in with me. I told them that I care about them so much that they can move here, but...
  14. paloftoon

    I Need To Confess Something

    You should be okay with anyone platonically at least. Asian women tend to be very desired, maybe Americanized Asian women in the US more than foreign Asian women. So, I guess I don't feel bad for them not to have a chance with you. Asian men, at least gay ones, have a difficult time based...
  15. paloftoon

    Does anyone have any advice for dealing with loneliness as an autistic adult?

    meetup.com and look for groups that have interests similar to you. Then you can meet people but based on interest and you always have that interest to talk about instead of nothing at least. It's tough making good friends, but it's a good balance of finding interests or things you could be...
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