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Recent content by Artemis

  1. Artemis

    Hi, I’m new...

    Hi Ben, Welcome. I can totally understand how it is a lot to digest. A diagnosis is different than just living life thinking you're a little eccentric. It may get more difficult before it gets easier—but, I do think accepting it and reading as much as you can about it will go along way in...
  2. Artemis

    Anyone understand the dynamic of ASD and ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder)?

    Thanks for responding @BrokenBoy — how long have you been diagnosed and how do you cope with it? Not sure how old you are or if you are in a relationship. From your perspective, is there anything that makes relationships better, or that loved ones do to make you happier?
  3. Artemis

    Anyone understand the dynamic of ASD and ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder)?

    I've posted recently a lot about my partner who we've finally realized has ASD and our relationship struggles, as I try and parse out what I can fix and what I cannot. I've been doing work with a therapist, that started off as a couples therapist for both of us last year, but ultimately I just...
  4. Artemis

    How do you convince a partner that their ASD is a big factor in relationship problems?

    Shared this in a private thread recently, have tried to live by it... but, it gets a little tricky because I don't know what I can realistically expect he ought to be, if that makes any sense. “If you treat an individual as he is, he will remain how he is. But if you treat him as if he were...
  5. Artemis

    How do you convince a partner that their ASD is a big factor in relationship problems?

    I wouldn't say he's a shopaholic, he really doesn't spend much money on himself except for his "special interests". But, then it's really like he "needs" that thing. I think he thinks he needed that computer to get ahead and be able to get work, pursue a new career. But, he doesn't understand...
  6. Artemis

    How do you convince a partner that their ASD is a big factor in relationship problems?

    @Gracey totally agree. Trying to maintain things for our family, and figure out what self-care looks like, and what I'm willing to let go so I can make some time for it. It is SO hard for me to relax though when everything is a mess around me. Appreciate your insight so much though.
  7. Artemis

    How do you convince a partner that their ASD is a big factor in relationship problems?

    Hi @Autistamatic ... Thanks for that link... one of the things it mentions is this: The imposition of one’s views upon another and the subsequent internalisation of this view can be seen to be a form of internalised oppression, where the negative connotations of the normative model of...
  8. Artemis

    How do you convince a partner that their ASD is a big factor in relationship problems?

    Yes, that is exactly my point. I have never been trying to "blame" him or take all of the ownership for everything. I do not see this as a 'disability', I see this as a difference in relating and a difference in communication. If I spoke French and he spoke Spanish, but claimed he spoke French...
  9. Artemis

    How do you convince a partner that their ASD is a big factor in relationship problems?

    Just one more thought on this and the title of my post.... It's not that I am trying to 'blame' the ASD but it's been only recently that I've started to look for answers there because I tried normal relating for a while and that just got me nowhere. Trying to understand the spectrum behavior...
  10. Artemis

    How do you convince a partner that their ASD is a big factor in relationship problems?

    I appreciate this, but sheesh it's so much more complicated than that. I have been working to support him and now our family of three for 3 years now. He has had some work in that time, but not much at all, and I was pregnant and had a baby in that time. What would make me feel loved and cared...
  11. Artemis

    How do you convince a partner that their ASD is a big factor in relationship problems?

    First of all, thank you. I feel a debt of gratitude to all of your thoughtful replies, suggestions, and personal stories. I read each one carefully–I'm learning–and able to gain perspective from all of the comments here. I also can appreciate that it may get frustrating to always have NT's...
  12. Artemis

    How do you convince a partner that their ASD is a big factor in relationship problems?

    Also, how specifically to respond to the assertion that I refuse to take responsibility? That's simply not true, and is such projection in this case. In fact, I've always taken too much of it, and now that I'm trying to back down and not apologize for every damn thing is exactly when we're...
  13. Artemis

    How do you convince a partner that their ASD is a big factor in relationship problems?

    So, sounds like you are all saying there is no way to logically work on this? To be clear: I don't "blame" ASD, I think there are a lot of things that are wonderful because of it. He's so amazing at anything he pours himself into, and is truly such a wonderful soul, he's been in a dark place...
  14. Artemis

    How do you convince a partner that their ASD is a big factor in relationship problems?

    I'm so very confused. I've posted at length recently about how bad my relationship with my ASD spouse has become. To sum that all up, I have over given, and over empathized to the point that I have grown resentful and angry for maintaining and carrying most of the mental and all of the financial...
  15. Artemis

    What can I do for these things that the person who tested me said to work on

    Hi Arcticfox... Just out of curiosity it looks like you've been a member on the site for a while...did you already know and just recently got a diagnosis? I don't know what I'm talking about really, but if I had to guess I would say just being aware that you need you need to develop those...
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