Uncertian

From your text I assume that her not believing in monogamy is a problem for you otherwise you would not write about it. There could be many sides to this (thinking out loud). I assume she means the 'not believing in sleeping with just one person' and not the 'would be happy to marry more than one person' definition. 1) She does not believe in monogamy in principle and its nothing to do with you. I.e. its a view regardless of who she is with. 2) she is saying she does not believe in monogamy with you. which is a different message altogether. I suppose there is only one way to find out. Ask her. It would also be interesting to hear how she feels about her partners also not being monogamous? Either way, sounds like you need to make a decision. The fact you have raised this as as an uncertainty indicates you have already come to your conclusion I think. I know I would not be up for such a relationship. But everyone is different.

Hiya Mike. My name is Lirazel. I can't say what would work for you but I was in an
" open marriage " for 6 years and it didn't work.
I was deeply in love with this person, and I agreed not to try to stop him having women friends. I agreed because I don't think you should have to give up your friends when you get married or stop making new ones and the gender of your friends is irrelevant. Unfortunately, gradually and without me picking up on the shift in his thinking, he changed our original agreement into an open marriage.
Here's how it went. One New Year's Eve we invited our best friends over for dinner.
We had a lovely evening. Towards the end
of the night I went to the bathroom and returned to find everyone had gone. Puzzled I went to our room. My husband and my friend were in our bed. Her husband had left for home. I was speechless and confused. I crept out of the cottage. I didn't want to wake up our 13 year old son. What would I say to him?
After that New Year's Eve our relationship deterorated, not because of jealousy, I can't really feel jealous anger, but because I began to feel worthless. It meant I wasn't desirable. I was just something he turned to when he couldn't seduce the person who he desired. I tried to get him to understand how he was hurting me but I couldn't. By Christmas that same year I gave up. A fairytale turned nightmare. I left. We're still on friendly terms as grudges are something else I can't sustain but I think I will never really recovery my sense of worth. Intimate relationship require work, even amongst neurotypicals. We Autistics really don't need the added complications
of an "open relationship ". Who wants to feel like 2nd best in love? I hope this helps you. Thank you for listening. Telling you has helped me. Thank you.

thanks y'all for yas input. as far as concrete decisions go, me and Lady M still need to really sit down and hammer things out. I have always had problems in relationships especially when the possibility of sex was raised. Truth be told, I was a virgin when I met Lady M so I'm grateful for the sex because it helped me "satisfy the curiosity" but now the emotional fallout I feel now has me a bit perplexed. I thought sex would ease my confusion not add to it. Once again, thank you for your support.