I used to be oddly at ease with social settings, or at least with appearing at ease. I could be charming and polite and blah blah blah. Basically, everyone is always shocked to find out I have Aspergers.
This was even true when I had just gotten back from New York. I tore up the entire town so I must have been doing okay. But now...not so much. I've started doing things I did as a kid when I was in social settings and wanted to run and hide (and I often would hide behind my mom.) My shoulders go up, my hands go behind my back (if I'm trying to look normal and can kind of manage, they clasp in front instead) and I "shifty glance" the entire time I'm talking.
My facial expressions are overly exaggerated, insincere, and childish. I end a lot of words with a "z." My reactions to things are either not there at ALL or they're big, short-lived, phony-emotions. Someone texts me and tells me they just got home from work? My response is: YAY =) ! ! !
In person? My response is: Yay.... =D
And then in 3 seconds, back to my regular blank face.
I've been told I'm neurotic. High-strung. This may be true. I fidget a lot. But I don't care a lot about what people think, so I don't know why my social skills went 9 years in reverse. I don't feel particularly insecure, or shy, or anything.
I need advice.
This was even true when I had just gotten back from New York. I tore up the entire town so I must have been doing okay. But now...not so much. I've started doing things I did as a kid when I was in social settings and wanted to run and hide (and I often would hide behind my mom.) My shoulders go up, my hands go behind my back (if I'm trying to look normal and can kind of manage, they clasp in front instead) and I "shifty glance" the entire time I'm talking.
My facial expressions are overly exaggerated, insincere, and childish. I end a lot of words with a "z." My reactions to things are either not there at ALL or they're big, short-lived, phony-emotions. Someone texts me and tells me they just got home from work? My response is: YAY =) ! ! !
In person? My response is: Yay.... =D
And then in 3 seconds, back to my regular blank face.
I've been told I'm neurotic. High-strung. This may be true. I fidget a lot. But I don't care a lot about what people think, so I don't know why my social skills went 9 years in reverse. I don't feel particularly insecure, or shy, or anything.
I need advice.
