Perhaps

I know what I need, but I can’t have it.
I can see what needs to be done, but I can’t do it.
I need help, but I won’t ask for it.
I’m afraid you’ll hurt me.
I’m too dirty to ask. Too poor to beg-
Too ignorant, and you will teach me with anger if I ask-
Dash me against the wall, break me into ever smaller pieces.
I have not listened to your words, and I don’t deserve your help,
Or your pity.
I never have. And yet-
The light still shines in the darkness.
The fire still burns-calling me to its warmth-
But I am afraid to burn.
Perhaps-
I need to.