If you are not officially diagnosed as being on the Autism Spectrum, or were diagnosed later in life, you probably did not get training to compensate for some of our disadvantages. I think lack of social skills is our worst disadvantage. I do not think we have to just accept our fate helplessly. There are things we can do to work on social skills as adults. I have been working on this for years and discovered some tools to use that were helpful.
One of the helpful things I learned was how to recognize facial expressions. The best one of these was how to tell the difference between a real smile and a fake smile. There are sites on the internet that are really good for this. The sites have photos comparing real smiles and fake smiles. The difference between real and fake smiles is like walking through a mine field for people with Aspergers or Autism.
Here is a site with a pretty good description of the differences between real and fake smiles:
3 Easy Ways To Spot Genuine & Fake Smiles | Nicolas Fradet He only offers one picture, however, so I will get you a site with more pictures. Pictures of this have been especially helpful to me and are likely to help other people on the Autism Spectrum.
Here is a site that has three pictures of real versus fake smiles:
Here is a site where a guy displays the results of a test that he took to distinguish between real and fake smiles:
https://www.sciencebase.com/images/spotting-a-fake-smile.jpg My old ipad will not run the actual test on the BBC site, so I gave you this link instead. You can go take the actual test on the BBC site, if you want to.
The name for a genuine smile is a,"Duchenne" smile after the scientist who first identified it. The muscle responsible for the movement of a Duchenne smile is called the, "Zygomatic Arch". This muscle is responsible for squinting the eyes and crows feet, or the little wrinkles at the corner of the eyes.
I was surprised to discover that NTs do not universally recognize Duchennes smiles, or real smiles. People on the Spectrum, however, do worse at it. Most of us already knew that last bit, though. We may not instinctively recognize a real, or Duchennes smile, but now we can use our brains to compensate for this a little.
No squinted eyes and crows feet in older people, anyway, means a fake smile. Yaaay! We can tell the difference too!!!
Okay now I am going to give you a link about an MIT study where they are studying this stuff for the purpose of teaching people with Autism to learn to tell a fake smile from a real one:
There are a lot more pictures on the internet of real versus fake smiles if you want more practice. Google and youtube both have them.
Learning the difference between real and fake smiles is helpful if you want to learn to compensate for being on the Spectrum a little, but we can learn about other bits of helpful body language and get even better. My personal favorite now is Vanessa Van Edwards, for learning some of this stuff. I went so far as to sign up for her newsletter. She offers classes and books about improving your social skills. I have not taken any of her classes, but do plan to buy her latest book. Once I read that, I will consider an online class.
Other people on the internet and off also tell us about how to improve our social skills, so Vanessa Van Edwards is not your only choice. I just happen to find the way she presents her information easier to understand. I can't say that she will do the same for everybody, but it won't hurt to look at her free stuff and decide if what she has to offer might work for you.
One of the helpful things I learned was how to recognize facial expressions. The best one of these was how to tell the difference between a real smile and a fake smile. There are sites on the internet that are really good for this. The sites have photos comparing real smiles and fake smiles. The difference between real and fake smiles is like walking through a mine field for people with Aspergers or Autism.
Here is a site with a pretty good description of the differences between real and fake smiles:
3 Easy Ways To Spot Genuine & Fake Smiles | Nicolas Fradet He only offers one picture, however, so I will get you a site with more pictures. Pictures of this have been especially helpful to me and are likely to help other people on the Autism Spectrum.
Here is a site that has three pictures of real versus fake smiles:
Here is a site where a guy displays the results of a test that he took to distinguish between real and fake smiles:
https://www.sciencebase.com/images/spotting-a-fake-smile.jpg My old ipad will not run the actual test on the BBC site, so I gave you this link instead. You can go take the actual test on the BBC site, if you want to.
The name for a genuine smile is a,"Duchenne" smile after the scientist who first identified it. The muscle responsible for the movement of a Duchenne smile is called the, "Zygomatic Arch". This muscle is responsible for squinting the eyes and crows feet, or the little wrinkles at the corner of the eyes.
I was surprised to discover that NTs do not universally recognize Duchennes smiles, or real smiles. People on the Spectrum, however, do worse at it. Most of us already knew that last bit, though. We may not instinctively recognize a real, or Duchennes smile, but now we can use our brains to compensate for this a little.
No squinted eyes and crows feet in older people, anyway, means a fake smile. Yaaay! We can tell the difference too!!!
Okay now I am going to give you a link about an MIT study where they are studying this stuff for the purpose of teaching people with Autism to learn to tell a fake smile from a real one:
There are a lot more pictures on the internet of real versus fake smiles if you want more practice. Google and youtube both have them.
Learning the difference between real and fake smiles is helpful if you want to learn to compensate for being on the Spectrum a little, but we can learn about other bits of helpful body language and get even better. My personal favorite now is Vanessa Van Edwards, for learning some of this stuff. I went so far as to sign up for her newsletter. She offers classes and books about improving your social skills. I have not taken any of her classes, but do plan to buy her latest book. Once I read that, I will consider an online class.
Other people on the internet and off also tell us about how to improve our social skills, so Vanessa Van Edwards is not your only choice. I just happen to find the way she presents her information easier to understand. I can't say that she will do the same for everybody, but it won't hurt to look at her free stuff and decide if what she has to offer might work for you.
