I noticed that I had a problem with social matters long before I had any idea that it might be connected with Aspergers. Since I started reading my way through entire sets of encyclopedias at a young age, i found out about body language early too. As soon as I got a chance to go to a library and "shop" for free books to read, I discovered a few books about body language.
I usually devoured most body language books in less than a day. If the book was full of technical jargon or was very long, I would sneak a flashlight to bed and continue reading under the covers at night. If reading most of the night was not enough to allow me to finish the book, I would continue reading every chance I got the next day. I read while I ate and eliminated and even tried it while I was walking. The last did not work out well.
I started observing people to see what the Body Language books meant. This was very helpful in dealing with abusive parents. I learned many body language indications of when to duck and applied them industriously. I also branched out to how to manipulate my parents and sibs by using body language. This was sometimes more productive than knowing how to tell when to duck. This was because manipulation could prevent the necessity for ducking.
Body language was good at home especially, but for a while I did not see its applications for school. Then I discovered psychology. That was smetimes a little helpful for dealing with school. Psychology is a big amorphous mass and probably too much to tackle just to help you out socially.
The next socially helpful thing I discovered was guides on small talk. Most of the first ones that I found were about small talk for dating. It took me a little while to discover that these small talk guides for dating could apply to other situations besides dating. Observation made this discovery even more useful. I particularly liked to observe people who were especially socially adept and how they managed small talk. I discovered that most of their small talk was very repetitious and not that inspiring as far as subject matter either. That takes the burden off of anyone who wants to copy their approach.
I signed up for a newsletter from one of the body language/social skills gurus that I especially enjoyed. She has the extra advantage that she is passing along the benefits of her recent research. Many people who dispense such advice do not do research. She sends links to videos where she explains what she is talking about in the newsletters. I find that seeing her act out what she is talking about makes more sense to me than simply reading it. She has a clear, concise way of telling us about her information to share. I think she can do a lot for Aspies and others who want to brush up on or even get any social skills at all. She is also good at picking subjects that I find especially helpful.
The best way to see what I am talking about with her is to check out her site and see whether you want to try out her newsletter. She also offers courses, but charges for those. Here is a link to her site:
Vanessa Van Edwards - Online Class Instructor | CreativeLive
There are other people on the internet and maybe somewhere near you who offer the same general help, so go take a look if what she offers does not appeal to you. There is help for the socially inept. This does not mean that you will necessarily turn overnight into a social butterfly, but if you want to make the effort, you can probably improve your social skills.
I usually devoured most body language books in less than a day. If the book was full of technical jargon or was very long, I would sneak a flashlight to bed and continue reading under the covers at night. If reading most of the night was not enough to allow me to finish the book, I would continue reading every chance I got the next day. I read while I ate and eliminated and even tried it while I was walking. The last did not work out well.
I started observing people to see what the Body Language books meant. This was very helpful in dealing with abusive parents. I learned many body language indications of when to duck and applied them industriously. I also branched out to how to manipulate my parents and sibs by using body language. This was sometimes more productive than knowing how to tell when to duck. This was because manipulation could prevent the necessity for ducking.
Body language was good at home especially, but for a while I did not see its applications for school. Then I discovered psychology. That was smetimes a little helpful for dealing with school. Psychology is a big amorphous mass and probably too much to tackle just to help you out socially.
The next socially helpful thing I discovered was guides on small talk. Most of the first ones that I found were about small talk for dating. It took me a little while to discover that these small talk guides for dating could apply to other situations besides dating. Observation made this discovery even more useful. I particularly liked to observe people who were especially socially adept and how they managed small talk. I discovered that most of their small talk was very repetitious and not that inspiring as far as subject matter either. That takes the burden off of anyone who wants to copy their approach.
I signed up for a newsletter from one of the body language/social skills gurus that I especially enjoyed. She has the extra advantage that she is passing along the benefits of her recent research. Many people who dispense such advice do not do research. She sends links to videos where she explains what she is talking about in the newsletters. I find that seeing her act out what she is talking about makes more sense to me than simply reading it. She has a clear, concise way of telling us about her information to share. I think she can do a lot for Aspies and others who want to brush up on or even get any social skills at all. She is also good at picking subjects that I find especially helpful.
The best way to see what I am talking about with her is to check out her site and see whether you want to try out her newsletter. She also offers courses, but charges for those. Here is a link to her site:
Vanessa Van Edwards - Online Class Instructor | CreativeLive
There are other people on the internet and maybe somewhere near you who offer the same general help, so go take a look if what she offers does not appeal to you. There is help for the socially inept. This does not mean that you will necessarily turn overnight into a social butterfly, but if you want to make the effort, you can probably improve your social skills.
