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First entry

Historically I don't do journaling etc very consistently. We will see.

I envision this to be a space where I can talk about cool stuff. And hopefully a place to bring my intense feeling self. Because I am married to an autist that has more classic symptoms he is overwhelmed by my emotional self. This is very lonely. I have nowhere to go with my big feelings where I can get comfort unless I pay for it (therapy).

I'm not autistic enough for autistic places since I am a weirdo that can read nonverbal communication and invites emotionally intimate conversation. And I'm not NT enough for NT spaces. I will share examples that prove that some time. It hurts to think about it and I am already hurting so I want to only deal with one pain source at a time.

Part of my strategy for coping with my unsatisfying marriage is to, ahem, get a life! I've made some friends. Well acquaintances. Not great at converting acquaintances to friends. I tend to rely on shared activities to just make me more familiar to that person so that the relationship becomes closer. I don't really know how to do it another way.


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