Why are my parent suddenly discouraging me for going for my dream career?

[Frostee]

For years, I have had an interest in a certain career, pretty much since a child. This is my passion, although it is an expensive passion.

But nonetheless the career is something that i've been fully vested in.

A recent training programme has come out that i'm going to apply for.

Now, however, given the opportunity my parents are saying 'how are you going to afford that?', and 'it's up to you' but not sounding too enthusiastic.

I'm now wondering why the sudden change in attitude? For years they've told me to do this, but now when it comes round to it, they're acting all finicky?

I will go for this, but i'm not feeling unconfident in doing so because of their attitudes. I've already been rejected for two Assessment Centres relating to another career, so I have no choice but apply.

I just don't understand where this attitude has come from, or why they are behaving in this way. Just in the same way that my mother lashed at me in a way that suggested that she was irritated at me/couldn't stand me.. don't know where that came from.

 

[NothingToSeeHere]

Have you talked to them about your difficulties at your current internship? If so they might worry that you're not up to it. Or they may just be genuinely wondering how you are going to afford it.

 

[Frostee]

This isn’t an Office Job

 

[shysnail]

Maybe it is just the reality of it versus the idea of it. If it's expensive, their concern may genuinely be, how will you afford it? I think the idea of a thing is often very different than when confronting that thing up close and seeing all the practicalities of it.

It is hard when you don't feel like people are 100% behind you, but it's a situation that comes up a lot. People aren't as invested in your life and your choices as you are, and they're not in your head, so they can't necessarily see all the reasons you can see for doing something. If the training program is something you want to do, then you may just need to be your own cheerleader on this one. Hopefully once your parents see you're doing well with it, they'll be more supportive.

In terms of your mother lashing out at you, is that perhaps she was just generally irritated? It may not be anything deeper than that.

 

[GadAbout]

What is this dream career?

 

[Judge]

I'm now wondering why the sudden change in attitude? For years they've told me to do this, but now when it comes round to it, they're acting all finicky?

Hard to say without knowing exactly what that career actually is. Though there are other things to consider...

The closer you get to graduation, and the closer Parliament gets to the October deadline of the Brexit, the more pragmatic- and perhaps even panicked your parents may become about your immediate economic future. Like so many other Brits, I suspect your parents are simply getting spooked about your prospects, based on circumstances well beyond your control.

Not to mention you're from Northern Ireland, which could turn out to be "ground zero" in the event of a "No-Deal Brexit". And there are other things that could impact the global economy in a hideous fashion. Lots of ominous things all converging in relatively the same time frame, having nothing to do with you personally.

I too had a very "linear" understanding of my immediate future after graduating from college. And with about 12 months afterwards, I realized that the future I cultivated for myself for so long would never happen.

Like so many others of my generation, I didn't have a "Plan B" to consider when our cyclical economy tanked. What should have been my best times right out of college were instead some of my worst times.

Hedge your bets. Take a hint from your parents and think hard about that "Plan B".

 

[Frostee]

oh no. I will be applying for this job. I think they were concerned about the cost, but I've just read that there will be a Bond to cover the training.

 

[GadAbout]

It's a job, so they pay you (right?), but there's a training cost to you? What is this career?

 

[Fino]

Maybe they never thought you'd actually go through with it and now they're like "Wait, that was for real?"