When people say "it's ok"

[Pocket86]

I have had several people say to me "it's ok", "everything will be ok", or some version of that. How do I respond to that? For example if I'm in a scary situation and a friend says "it's ok", what should I say in response? I usually just say thanks but I'm not sure if that's appropriate.

 

[Nemo]

Yeah, I think thanks is appropriate.

 

[SusanLR]

Thanks is probably appropriate.
But, I usually answer one of two ways that aren't the best way to handle it. I may say something like, "Yes. Everythings OK." while inside I'm thinking: No it's not!
Sometimes I blurt that out in my literal thinking too.
"No, it's not OK" and start to logically explain why it truly isn't. That may not be the socially appropriate way, but, I'm so much to just say what I think or feel.

 

[Ambi]

I have had several people say to me "it's ok", "everything will be ok", or some version of that. How do I respond to that? For example if I'm in a scary situation and a friend says "it's ok", what should I say in response? I usually just say thanks but I'm not sure if that's appropriate.

Thanks is appropriate - they have ZERO idea if things are okay or will be okay, but they are trying to convey some kind of kindness given your troubles or your situation. I HATE when people say "it will be okay" because it is such a false statement imho, since they have no idea. Also, it makes me feel like they think I need hand-holding without offering some real help or solution - and I hate that, I don't need hand-holding, I'm not a child. But I have to remember, if sincere, they don't mean it that way - and in turn, they would like me to say stuff like that to them, though I never do, because it's a lie.

 

[Judge]

If I think it's appropriate for them to say such a thing to me, I'll say "Thank you."

If not, I won't say a thing.

 

[Kevin L.]

You can thank them, but don't take them seriously.

I believe that--a lot of times, not always-- saying "it's okay" is a way of being dismissive of someone's feelings.

If you believe that people are being dismissive, then distance yourself from them.

 

[Alaska]

I have had several people say to me "it's ok", "everything will be ok", or some version of that. How do I respond to that? For example if I'm in a scary situation and a friend says "it's ok", what should I say in response? I usually just say thanks but I'm not sure if that's appropriate.

Thanks is a good answer for many reasons.
It is expected most of the time.
It is probably what they would say if they were in your position.
It is what NTs often say if they can't think of anything else to say. They may want to help, but telling you that it will be okay is the best they can think of right away.
They say it because they are trying to reassure themselves, because they are distressed by your situation.
If you do not answer, they may interpret your silence in a negative way that you do not intend.

There are sure to be other reasons that I have not mentioned here.

 

[xudo]

If I think it's appropriate for them to say such a thing to me, I'll say "Thank you."

If not, I won't say a thing.

I agree with @Judge. I'll say "thanks" if I think they're probably right, and usually "hmm" if not.

 

[Keigan]

They are trying to comfort you though they don't know how exactly - phrase of politeness in a moment of fear or panic.

"Thanks" would be a very appropriate response.

 

[Gracey]

I have had several people say to me "it's ok", "everything will be ok", or some version of that. How do I respond to that? For example if I'm in a scary situation and a friend says "it's ok", what should I say in response? I usually just say thanks but I'm not sure if that's appropriate.

Thanks is considered good manners in that you appreciate your friends concern and attempt at reassuring you.

Do you feel everything will be okay?
Is there anything you would like to say instead?

 

[Katina12]

Hi, NT here, so I thought I'd give my perspective!

This is an attempt to comfort you, even if the other person is not sure everything will be okay, they just want you to feel better.

Some appropriate responses:
"You're right, thank you for calming me down."
"I know they will, I've just had a lot of anxiety recently"
"I know, thank you for being there for me."
"I know, it's just hard right now, thank you for caring"

Anything really that let's the person know you appreciate there concern! For NTs it is important to have our feelings reciprocated...when we try to comfort we would usually desire an emotional response back.

 

[Datura]

Hmm... This has me wondering if I go about comforting people properly. A friend of mine is going in for surgery and I told her, "The procedure is fairly minor, so there probably won't be any complications." Would, "It's going to be okay." be better? I mean, I can't possibly know what the outcome will be beyond some vague probability, so it seems a bit false.

Then there is the issue of more uncertain calamities. Does "it's going to be okay" work in those instances? What if things are quite likely to go awry? It is usually my tract to tell people I hope all goes well, but that is about all I have to offer. Is it better to present people with comforting lies, and if so then what are the limitations one sets on this practice?

 

[Gracey]

Hmm... This has me wondering if I go about comforting people properly. A friend of mine is going in for surgery and I told her, "The procedure is fairly minor, so there probably won't be any complications." Would, "It's going to be okay." be better? I mean, I can't possibly know what the outcome will be beyond some vague probability, so it seems a bit false.

Then there is the issue of more uncertain calamities. Does "it's going to be okay" work in those instances? What if things are quite likely to go awry? It is usually my tract to tell people I hope all goes well, but that is about all I have to offer. Is it better to present people with comforting lies, and if so then what are the limitations one sets on this practice?

Like you, I can't predict the future results but wouldn't want the person to worry. Since there's no off switch for worry I would tell them things like 'they're in the hands of an experience, qualified, trained professional, trust this professional to know what they're doing'

"It will be okay" suggests a believe that all will be well but seems a little presumptious, by my way of thinking