I like being alone. only my business.
Welcome to Autism Forums, a friendly forum to discuss Aspergers Syndrome, Autism, High Functioning Autism and related conditions.
Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:We hope to see you as a part of our community soon! Please also check us out @ https://www.twitter.com/aspiescentral
That is Audio Processing Disorder. My hearing is better than most dogs but what my brain does with those sound signals is very different to most people. Neurotypical people can filter other sounds out and focus on a single voice in a crowd, I can't, my brain applies equal priority to every single sound I hear.I typically hear better than a lot of people. I can often hear the low hum of an electronic device that has been left on for example, but multiple conversations in big groups of people are hard to keep up with.
I don't think people have given much consideration to an actual hearing difference much because of how good my hearing is. I remember a conversation before about me perhaps having hearing difficulties because of a different situation (talking too loud), but then the conversation changed to how that doesn't make sense because of me picking up on really low volume sounds that others don't hear. I think any difficulties with following multiple conversations and/or a conversation in an otherwise noisy environment tends to get put off on my ADHD as a distractibility issue, yet no matter how hard I make a point to try to concentrate I still miss a lot in big groups. I'll have to look into that Audio Processing Disorder bit more. Thanks.That is Audio Processing Disorder. My hearing is better than most dogs but what my brain does with those sound signals is very different to most people. Neurotypical people can filter other sounds out and focus on a single voice in a crowd, I can't, my brain applies equal priority to every single sound I hear.
It also takes us longer to process meaning from sounds so our responses lag a little. In a one on one situation this lag isn't noticeable but as you add more and more people to the conversation there is more processing required and that lag becomes much more noticeable.
So you try to be part of a group conversation but by the time you've processed everything and want to interject with a comment of your own it's too late and the rest of the conversation has already moved on.
Correct. You don't have a hearing problem, you have a processing problem....but then the conversation changed to how that doesn't make sense because of me picking up on really low volume sounds that others don't hear.
Definitely not my experience. I have large issues with sound clarity. I can't tell the voices apart, no clue what they're saying, even though I should know in theory.Neurotypical people can filter other sounds out and focus on a single voice in a crowd, I can't, my brain applies equal priority to every single sound I hear.
That's similar to my problem, if two people talk at once I can't distinguish between them, they both blur together and I can't makes sense of any of it. Yet in a crowded bar if someone drops a coin I can tell them what denomination it was and where it rolled to.I can't tell the voices apart, no clue what they're saying, even though I should know in theory.
Oh, me too. The sharp high pitched sounds distinguish themselves a lot. And drive me crazy.Yet in a crowded bar if someone drops a coin I can tell them what denomination it was and where it rolled to.
Some particular tones cause me extreme pain. It doesn't hurt my ears, it hurts in the middle of my skull like someone's pushing a metal spike through my brain. Small babies squealing isn't something we can do anything about but I'd dearly love to have electric leaf blowers banned.Oh, me too. The sharp high pitched sounds distinguish themselves a lot. And drive me crazy.
Another autistic mistake I made.Even though I do very well with both book learning and hands on learning, I struggle in a setting with lecture based learning.
I can hear those too and can't stand them. Too loud.It was a device that was supposed to deter rats from coming in to your house. I told him I completely understand why the rats don't like it.
Eric didn't believe I could really hear it at first, he asked me to tell him where it was coming from. I followed my ears to his caravan that he had parked just next to his computer room. It wasn't just one tone, it kept warbling up and down across a range.I can hear those too and can't stand them. Too loud.
Strangely, I used to love the sounds of my old dial up modem.I can hear those too and can't stand them. Too loud.
I have the same culture. I have been alone my entire life, even when surrounded by people, including my family. I have never had a friend comment about this, mainly because I never had a friend. Like you, until I was diagnosed, this did take a toll on me, for which I am still paying.I don't really know about other cultures, but in the culture I grew up in (upper middle class US southerner) it is considered wrong or even deviant for people to like and pursue being alone and people are often judged by the company they keep or don't keep. There can be a mentality that something is off about you if you don't have many friendships, or if you aren't always surrounded by people in your orbit, including that you are expected to be very superficial....it was a very superficial culture I grew up in. As an undiagnosed autistic person this arrangement took a toll both physically and mentally. At its worst, I was told it was a sign of mental illness to not want to be around people all the time, sent to social training classes--when the truth is that's where my light comes on. Do you have experiences of people telling you there was something wrong with you for craving and enjoying solitude? Told you you just need to cultivate friends, that you are anti social or that you should be more pleasant in order for people to like you more? Does your culture support solitude? Do you like solitude?
With me it's the high frequencies.Ditto. Though in my own case, really low frequencies drive me nuts...similar to cigarette smoke.![]()
I came acrost this essay about autism and mental illness, saying that as a form of neurodivergence, mental illness when it comes to autistic people is adaptive.Even in Australia preferring to be without company seems a little strange to most people, but then we also have a lot of extremely remote and difficult places to get to and the people that live in those places all tend to be loners.
To your average doctors and head shrinks I'd get diagnosed with depression and social anxiety and all sorts of ridiculous things, to the point that it's a waste of time seeing them unless there's something as obvious as a severed limb that they can see.
Fortunately there's a lot more autism awareness here now and if someone tries to tell me I suffer anxiety I can just laugh in their faces.
I don't really know about other cultures, but in the culture I grew up in (upper middle class US southerner) it is considered wrong or even deviant for people to like and pursue being alone and people are often judged by the company they keep or don't keep. There can be a mentality that something is off about you if you don't have many friendships, or if you aren't always surrounded by people in your orbit, including that you are expected to be very superficial....it was a very superficial culture I grew up in. As an undiagnosed autistic person this arrangement took a toll both physically and mentally. At its worst, I was told it was a sign of mental illness to not want to be around people all the time, sent to social training classes--when the truth is that's where my light comes on. Do you have experiences of people telling you there was something wrong with you for craving and enjoying solitude? Told you you just need to cultivate friends, that you are anti social or that you should be more pleasant in order for people to like you more? Does your culture support solitude? Do you like solitude?
Even in Australia preferring to be without company seems a little strange to most people, but then we also have a lot of extremely remote and difficult places to get to and the people that live in those places all tend to be loners.
To your average doctors and head shrinks I'd get diagnosed with depression and social anxiety and all sorts of ridiculous things, to the point that it's a waste of time seeing them unless there's something as obvious as a severed limb that they can see.
Fortunately there's a lot more autism awareness here now and if someone tries to tell me I suffer anxiety I can just laugh in their faces.
Seems like a common experience for those of us who didn't know until later that we were autistic to accumulate at times ridiculous diagnoses in the service of "helping" autistic people. And people universally seem to say it effects our health first to not know that we are autistic, then to be told repeatedly that we ARE something we can't even relate to--for instance, I was "diagnosed" with OCD, but don't relate to that at all. I also just came acrost this article saying that for autistic people mental illness can be adaptive.https://autisticrealms.com/autistic-mental-health-beyond-the-pathology-paradigm/Even in Australia preferring to be without company seems a little strange to most people, but then we also have a lot of extremely remote and difficult places to get to and the people that live in those places all tend to be loners.
To your average doctors and head shrinks I'd get diagnosed with depression and social anxiety and all sorts of ridiculous things, to the point that it's a waste of time seeing them unless there's something as obvious as a severed limb that they can see.
Fortunately there's a lot more autism awareness here now and if someone tries to tell me I suffer anxiety I can just laugh in their faces.
That is a really good question: I think that if someone else was doing my interest with me it would feel pretty invasive, even if they were equally passionate about it. Crux of it is that being around other people, even when I know them very well, is never relaxing and what I love about my stim is that it is very contemplative and private. But other people in my space always feels a bit invasive, am generally waiting for it to end. Even with my own family, co workers, friends who are like minded. It's just never natural. It is a little different on this page, and I do notice that those of us who describe ourselves as loners also hang out here quite a bit.Would you all still prefer to be completely alone if you could spend time with someone who shared your most of your special interests?