Weird Reactions to Famous People Passing

[Rasputin]

Just found out MEATLOAF died last night. Great musician, good singer, Wife loved his music. do not expect to grieve much, a bit young, should have taken better care of himself.

I am sure there will be many more to succumb to COVID.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

To early to tell, think it was a more natural death. GREAT music had a magnificent voice.

 

[Rasputin]

To early to tell, think it was a more natural death. GREAT music had a magnificent voice.

It has been reported that he had COVID.

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

Just found out MEATLOAF died last night. Great musician, good singer, Wife loved his music. do not expect to grieve much, a bit young, should have taken better care of himself.

I oddly heard I Would Do Anything For Love randomly in my dreams last night including the piano. I don’t even have that song on iTunes or CD so I don’t know why I literally heard the entire song in my sleep unless it was some sort of message that he had died.

 

[Flown]

I don’t usually attend funerals, and I had my mother cremated. I did not attend my father’s funeral, or any other relative’s funeral. In fact, I have a reputation for not attending funerals.

The same here. I have made family members angry for not attending some funerals. I have already told my husband that I don't want a funeral when I die.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

I think is says more about the media than anything. Unfortunately, there can be media hype about anyone who is famous,...dead or alive. I would call it something to distract the feeble-minded away from more important issues in our world.

I do not understand the fascination with famous people, people who live unusual lives in general,...is that a neurotypical thing? The media certainly loves to spend a lot of time and energy on it.

Perhaps reality is something that causes us stress and we are always looking for ways to escape it,...drugs and alcohol, video games, watching movies, listening to music, focusing upon other people's lives instead of our own, embracing conspiracy theories,...whatever.

 

[Flown]

In fact, I don't think "grief" is something I have really ever felt. I miss my dog who died this fall, but I was so lucky to have him in my life, grieving almost seems disfespectful of his memory. Grieving feels like paying more attention to feeling sorry for yourself than in acknowledging how awesome the deceased was.

*hugs* I'm sorry to hear of your loss.

I have a hard time understanding why/how others grieve, but I don't find it to be an intentionally selfish act.

When my dog, Charlie, died in 2020, an uncontrollable wave of emotion and confusion overwhelmed me. The change in my routine and the sudden absence of my best friend (who had been by my side nearly every moment) left me reeling. I was in a meltdown/shutdown state for months. No matter what I did, I physically could not stop crying. The emotional pain was more than I could bear. I had channeled so much love and energy into this relationship, and I no longer had a place to put that love and energy. The world felt surreal. My priorities and daily tasks became trivial.

To "suck it up" and tuck down these emotions would have meant that I could not process this tremendous loss. In my eyes, the amount that I grieved equaled the amount that I had loved Charlie. Avoiding these emotions felt like the more selfish path.

This is not to say that your way or my way (or anyone else's way) is wrong. I don't believe there is a right way to grieve. I do not necessarily understand why I (or anyone else) grieves the way they do; I suppose we all just process these things differently, and it is all equally valid.

Maybe people who mourn media icons invest a lot of emotional energy into perceived "relationships" with them?

 

[Rasputin]

I think is says more about the media than anything. Unfortunately, there can be media hype about anyone who is famous,...dead or alive. I would call it something to distract the feeble-minded away from more important issues in our world.

I do not understand the fascination with famous people, people who live unusual lives in general,...is that a neurotypical thing? The media certainly loves to spend a lot of time and energy on it.

Perhaps reality is something that causes us stress and we are always looking for ways to escape it,...drugs and alcohol, video games, watching movies, listening to music, focusing upon other people's lives instead of our own, embracing conspiracy theories,...whatever.

Based on the responses I have seen, this fascination seems to be more of a neurotypical thing.

 

[Suzette]

@Flown, I am so sorry for the loss of your dear friend. Was his death sudden? I have not experienced the unexpected passing of a loved one. I have lost may but all were expected deaths due to old age of known disease.
I think loosing someone suddenly would affect me differently. Especially someone I relied upon for emotional support as you did Charlie.

One thing I have encountered over and over is that people often asume my acceptance of a death and my ability to "carry on" means I didn't feel grief. It is rather the opposite. I grieve deeply. I think abuse victims are often less likely to exhibit deeper emotions like sorrow and grief because those emotions may have been used against us in the past. Growing up, telling anyone I was hungry was the surest way to be denied dinner. Better to not display those things that will be used against you. They will use your stoicism against you too but it is much harder to make a lasting dent in stone skin.

 

[Flown]

@Flown, I am so sorry for the loss of your dear friend. Was his death sudden? I have not experienced the unexpected passing of a loved one. I have lost may but all were expected deaths due to old age of known disease.
I think loosing someone suddenly would affect me differently. Especially someone I relied upon for emotional support as you did Charlie.

One thing I have encountered over and over is that people often asume my acceptance of a death and my ability to "carry on" means I didn't feel grief. It is rather the opposite. I grieve deeply. I think abuse victims are often less likely to exhibit deeper emotions like sorrow and grief because those emotions may have been used against us in the past. Growing up, telling anyone I was hungry was the surest way to be denied dinner. Better to not display those things that will be used against you. They will use your stoicism against you too but it is much harder to make a lasting dent in stone skin.

I've moved this to DMs so I don't derail this too much!

 

[LadyS]

I think Grief comes in all forms.
People grieve for people who have touched them in a way that is memorable, distinctive, comforting, or unique. Not always about the manner of death or their age. Art has the power to do this because it transcends barriers. It serves as a bridge or connection to communicate what a person feels, thinks, perspectives all at the same time in a way that is unique. And art can be painters, actors, comedians, photographers, musicians, etc. I think this is the reason why people can grieve for someone they've never met but has touched instead their soul. Artists put things out there that can connect different kinds of people from all walks of life. I think that's what makes the grief a bit unique.

Sometimes someone struggling mentally can play a song by their favorite artist or watch their favorite movie or read a fav book and get instant relief in ways maybe other things or people can't provide.

I personally don't judge anyone for how their grieve or who they grieve for. Whether it's a pet or someone who helped them recover from something, or even someone who made them laugh. Lightened up their mental load a little. If they touched YOU in any positive way, then perfectly acceptable. Also grieving for a celebrity doesn't mean you don't also mourn other non-celebs.

Only real celeb death that I still mourn is Robin Williams. Grew up watching him and could always make me laugh when I was down. The manner of his death, for someone who brought so much joy to others, especially knowing his past struggles made it that much more depressing.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

The same here. I have made family members angry for not attending some funerals. I have already told my husband that I don't want a funeral when I die.

My body is going to the University of Michigan Med School. I won't be needing it anymore.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

Better to not display those things that will be used against you

That is how I learned never to express interest in girls. It became part on my social isolation that I am now dealing with the hurt after 50 years. Screw that! I probably ended with a more accomplished, interesting, and accepting woman than those judgemental kids, who made me feel that way, were able to attract.

@Suzette , With me, my stoicism has been a means of not listening to negative people anymore. I was poor at armoring myself.

 

[Fino]

I would argue that you're actually in the majority if you're indifferent toward her death. The media can make something seem widespread and sensational when in reality it's a relatively small number of vocal people. There isn't going to be news coverage on people who don't care. That would be silly. Therefore, 100% of what you see is what you've described.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

when my parents passed away the only people that really carried were thier families and a few friends
with my mother I went back to work the following day,
dad died over my vacation during a summer, did not even inform my employer.

 

[watersprite]

I don’t think it is weird to not react the way media and society in general prompts us & expects us to react, whether it is to a death of a famous person or anything else. Grief is personal. Neither media nor the internet are focused on your best interests.
Edited to add it’s good to be yourself.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

I had a chance the say good-by to both my parents before they died, that's what really matters.