Weird quirk

[daniegirl6224]

I do this weird thing at night sometimes where I hyperfixate on whatever is lightest in the room. Even if it is dark, I obsess over the lighter areas. Does anyone else do this? It causes me to get overstimulated. Even when I close my eyes or wear a sleeping mask, I have this crazy compulsion to hyperfixate on the light. It’s weird. So far the only thing that has helped is to take anxiety meds & sleep meds and wait until I finally fall asleep. Curious if anyone has any insight/suggestions.

 

[Rodafina]

Have you ever tried meditation? It can look a little different for everyone, but for me, I calmly focus on my breath and let any distressing thoughts just exist without giving them too much power. I don’t try to push the thoughts away, but I do visualize them existing like smoke that rises and blows away.

Counterintuitively, trying very hard to get rid of certain thoughts can make our minds perseverate more. Awareness and acceptance of the thought can help our subconscious to actually let go of it. Feeling frustrated that the dang thought just won’t go away gives it more power in our mind and it becomes more persistent.

I’ve had to learn this to manage violent intrusive thoughts that were constantly disrupting my life. It takes time and practice, no doubt, but it has helped me a lot. I also use distracting sounds like a white noise train sound or an audiobook to fall asleep.

 

[Outdated]

Curious if anyone has any insight/suggestions.

The opening line in your post suggests you're doing something wrong right from the start:

I do this weird thing at night sometimes where I hyperfixate on whatever is lightest in the room.

When trying to go to sleep your eyes should be closed, very few people sleep with their eyes open.

I have been a heavy sleeper all my life and usually fall asleep in less than 3 minutes. SSRIs completely destroyed my good sleep habits and I now often only sleep for 2 or 3 hours and I'm wide awake again while still exhausted, but I rarely have any trouble getting to sleep.

I have done the same thing since I was a little kid, I focus on one of my favourite daydreams. My thoughts will try to wander but as soon as I realise this has happened I call my favourite daydream back.

Sleep has always been an escape for me. If I'm sick or injured or even just stressed I go to sleep to escape. And once I'm well rested everything else is a lot easier to deal with.

 

[Judge]

Sometimes I've thought about taping over the light on my bedroom smoke detector. Always the last brightest light even when the rest of the room is pitch black.

It bugs me from time to time...but I usually just roll over and forget about it.

 

[daniegirl6224]

Sometimes I've thought about taping over the light on my bedroom smoke detector. Always the last brightest light even when the rest of the room is pitch black.

It bugs me from time to time...but I usually just roll over and forget about it.

Yes!! I taped over the smoke detector and tiny tv lights! I also cover my phone charger that has a light. I wish it didn’t affect me so much, it legit makes me agitated/overstimulated for hours several nights of the week

 

[Judge]

Yes!! I taped over the smoke detector and tiny tv lights! I also cover my phone charger that has a light. I wish it didn’t affect me so much, it legit makes me agitated/overstimulated for hours several nights of the week

LOL. I can't do that. It's against my creed as a former insurance underwriter. My bad....

But seriously, I just hope you don't have OCD. That's an irritation on another level for me.

 

[daniegirl6224]

LOL. I can't do that. It's against my creed as a former insurance underwriter. My bad....

But seriously, I just hope you don't have OCD. That's an irritation on another level for me.

I thought it seemed like more of an OCD thing! But I don’t think I have other OCD symptoms, except rumination, which can also be an autistic thing

 

[Judge]

I thought it seemed like more of an OCD thing! But I don’t think I have other OCD symptoms, except rumination, which can also be an autistic thing

When you are compelled to do something you consciously don't want to do or have already done so, for me that's central to my OCD. Where the compulsion forces you in another direction you really don't want to go.