Wedding dress

[Kayla55]

Whilst all the other girls were like mine is like this, oh I like that one
I had no vision and had hardly thought about it?
I also never spent time getting my signature right? Still not sure what my favourite colour is, but I finally think it's orange

Did you figure out these things?

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

When my wife got her dress I just got a tux that matched her dress.

 

[Kayla55]

When my wife got her dress I just got a tux that matched her dress.

Did you help plan the wedding?
After my marriage in church I decided I hate white dresses....regretted the pastor's took over sermon whatever?
Realised bonfire on beach with champagne was nicer, more relaxed. Then sign court papers and done with it.

 

[Rodafina]

Whilst all the other girls were like mine is like this, oh I like that one
I had no vision and had hardly thought about it?

I never considered "my" wedding dress because I would never wear one, but I did notice that some people seemed to get really excited about them.

I also never spent time getting my signature right?

I have practiced and tried out different signatures. I've had the same one for about 20 years now and it just comes naturally.

Still not sure what my favourite colour is, but I finally think it's orange

I get confused by most "favorite" questions. It's so hard to pick one. By about 10 years old I finally gave myself permission to not have a favorite. I like all the colors for different reasons.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

We planned and did everything together I actually enjoyed it. cheap lots of guests, have two weddings this year neither involves cousins of couple younger son wants to get married offered to show them how to do it cheap as wife and I have experience.

 

[Kayla55]

Ye, cost is crazy.
My pastor did wedding for free at Chappel but charged a sermon for it. But I think it was my feeling towards my dad, looking at all guests...getting nervous, really edgy going down the isle.
I think less fuss, more down to earth, happier event

We planned and did everything together I actually enjoyed it. cheap lots of guests, have two weddings this year neither involves cousins of couple younger son wants to get married offered to show them how to do it cheap as wife and I have experience.

 

[Kayla55]

I never considered "my" wedding dress because I would never wear one, but I did notice that some people seemed to get really excited about them.


I have practiced and tried out different signatures. I've had the same one for about 20 years now and it just comes naturally.


I get confused by most "favorite" questions. It's so hard to pick one. By about 10 years old I finally gave myself permission to not have a favorite. I like all the colors for different reasons.

So you don't place emotional weight on the dress, and feelings about the big day.....
Surprising thing is we all assume we getting married but how little I planned or placed emphasise is what's astounding me. When wedding day came I was nervous, pulling at dress thinking it didn't complement my features but was mom-in-laws as hard as I'd tried to talk my way out of it, in polite sense....

 

[Rodafina]

So you don't place emotional weight on the dress, and feelings about the big day.....

Oh no, certainly not. Neither a fancy dress nor a "big day" are meaningful to me at all - both of those things are external displays that seem to be part of a tradition that would be extremely uncomfortable for me (being the center of attention, having a gathering or party, wearing impractical and uncomfortable clothing, a focus on eating and drinking, spending lots of money, etc.). A lifetime of partnership sounds like the place where I would want to put the emotional weight, the effort, and the money.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

During the wedding we both changed she wanted to dance.

 

[Aspychata]

Beach wedding. Fun for me. And zooming around famous beaches in a limo drinking champagne with a small group of friends. Catered dinner at hotel by beach, and entertainment. And my one friend totally got bombed, and made dinner hilarious. It was a perfect day. And my dress? Just average.

 

[kriss72]

My wedding was the ultimate masking event pretending to smile and be happy, when in fact I knew who I was marrying and it was a lot of hard work setting up the party, my mother helped a lot with finding the community hall and the people helping making food and serving. But still it became a nice event like I dreamt about, with the children in front, not hidden in some corner and a lot of balloons (Danish traditional weddings start with the wedding ceremony in the church in the morning and then the party ending past midnight for the guests)

 

[scleod]

My husband is NT and he planned the whole wedding. He is the stereo typical "female" in a relationship and I am more life the stereo typical male. I never really cared about a wedding or dreamed about a dress. He did it all and planned it all he is a perfect saint of a man. We were suppose to have a mountain top wedding with all of our family and friends.

But covid hit and it was the only time that my routine being off I was happy. It was perfect. No mask. Just awkward. Forgotten lines. My brother officiating. Sister in law taking photos. 10 people including us and them. In their back yard sunshine. No negative Nancy's from my family or friends. And both our sets of parts were there. My dad late past just 6 months later.

I always pretended, masked "oh yeah Imso excited for the dress shopping and planning blah blah blah". Truth be told I was only happy for my husband.

Your thoughts make me feel a little more normal

 

[Kayla55]

I once had female friend who took me shopping, she slowed down on this black lace shirt, convinced me it looked good. Do most people just follow fashion, some people really have natural passion for design.
I was looking at lonely planet and saw loads of dresses on a post, started thinking it was my neglect and not autism tendency.
I wanted to be normal, but I didn't fit in

 

[jsilver256]

I wanted to elope. My husband wanted the big fancy wedding. He won.

I got used dress for $200 on eBay, but it was gorgeous. It was silk, had lots of pearls and a 12 foot train. A lot of people thought it was the fanciest dress they'd seen. It was fun trying to optimize for the most "value."

My husband organized almost everything, not because he was controlling, but because I honestly didn't have any preferences on the wedding (that should've been a tip-off for ASD...). The only thing that I insisted on being put in there was a butterfly release, which was amazing:

https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=233410503991397

 

[Kayla55]

Just flicking through channels many years ago....
Donatella Versace went and tore sleeves off the dress that day ..... It's too much for me I would prefer not to try on any more dresses after this kind of behaviour....
So these 1 sleeve shirts became high fashion.....one day this German girl was wearing one and every time she leaned over the shirt slipped down revealing her brasserie.....she was to say least very endowed and boostenhalter was pushing up bust ....it dawned on me that it just didn't suit her....it's as if she ripped shirt trying to fit into it. I went around to this little boutique shop called let petite to browse clothes....
This is when I realised that revealing shirts around bust ...well people stare there when you walk in room, seems to just grab that attention and that's what I didn't like. So not wanting to look ***** I tried on shirt where revealing on back and graceful (I'm not busty like Angelina Jolie...I'm more natural size) so I think I could wear it off without looking like I raided someone else's cupboard.
I spent a lot of time going through fashion mags, despite not following trends but I noticed this Asian model with a modern Bob one day and realised it suited her not just due to colour but cause she had finer hair so her streaks fell to her shoulders beautifully as opposed to this thick Bob that was over blow dryed into sticking out further hair line without looking sleek.
So my understanding became that we master a style that is somewhat natural that lends to style we born with!!

 

[Kayla55]

This thread is bit older now, maybe not gaining opinions anymore but I'd like to say that movie about fairy tale where I think it's Cinderella yells: you not taking my mom's dress.....
I think we aspies have got perception and sensitivity it's just that we quiet and tend not to upset waters and tend have less friends we discuss how we really feel.
I think what she was refering too was patch work hours to sew the peasant dress that gave it it's unique beauty, and I'll take time to think and rethink about all sorts of stuff before try a dress on, if I try it on.

 

[scleod]

I wanted to elope. My husband wanted the big fancy wedding. He won.

I got used dress for $200 on eBay, but it was gorgeous. It was silk, had lots of pearls and a 12 foot train. A lot of people thought it was the fanciest dress they'd seen. It was fun trying to optimize for the most "value."

My husband organized almost everything, not because he was controlling, but because I honestly didn't have any preferences on the wedding (that should've been a tip-off for ASD...). The only thing that I insisted on being put in there was a butterfly release, which was amazing:

https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=233410503991397

I thought that I was the only one who had a husband who planned their wedding! Also love rhw butterfly release!! That is so beautiful. I got my dress online for really cheap aswell

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

Did you help plan the wedding?
After my marriage in church I decided I hate white dresses....regretted the pastor's took over sermon whatever?
Realised bonfire on beach with champagne was nicer, more relaxed. Then sign court papers and done with it.

Yes we did it all together. I enjoyed it.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

My wedding was the ultimate masking event pretending to smile and be happy, when in fact I knew who I was marrying and it was a lot of hard work setting up the party, my mother helped a lot with finding the community hall and the people helping making food and serving. But still it became a nice event like I dreamt about, with the children in front, not hidden in some corner and a lot of balloons (Danish traditional weddings start with the wedding ceremony in the church in the morning and then the party ending past midnight for the guests)

Sounds like our wedding 200 plus people. done cheap. most of community is family in the rural areas this a common way of doing things. Brides father takes care of the alcohol family member takes bar tending responsibilities. Tickets sold rather than straight cash bar.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

She did not go for the conventional dress, I think I attached a pic somewhere on this site months ago. Her taking off the garter.