We should try to think to have life more alone .

[lovely_darlingprettybaby]

It is better and people and their bad habits and ways is just a burden.
Think about it overall we would be happier.
I would not be bothered to relate to others much at all.
I would just do my own thing.
I only do it to try to be nice.
I do not fake it but what is the point if most people are horrible anyway and take you for granted and use and abuse you any given moment. I think I get forced to be that way too much on people who are not even worth it.
I think autistics are the same, you can.be autistic and smart and we are geniunely honest and kind and get very used and abused.
So we should not bother to fit with society so much.
And just try to enjoy what life has to offer and not worry about people so much.

 

[kriss72]

I get what you mean, and yeah, personally I would like to be a happy little autist just happy dancing my way through life, alone, not carring about other people.

But reality is different...

 

[Ghostinthemachine]

I feel very much the same @lovely_darlingprettybaby I have tried so much over the years to make friends and maintain friendships but ultimately either become a dumping ground for their problems or not willing to be interested in what I want to do.at work you hsve to get on with others but it's purely for functional reasons,I just keep myself to myself and find solace here.
Sometimes when you have a good heart like you do it gets mistreated by others I'm sorry to say

 

[lovely_darlingprettybaby]

I feel very much the same @lovely_darlingprettybaby I have tried so much over the years to make friends and maintain friendships but ultimately either become a dumping ground for their problems or not willing to be interested in what I want to do.at work you hsve to get on with others but it's purely for functional reasons,I just keep myself to myself and find solace here.
Sometimes when you have a good heart like you do it gets mistreated by others I'm sorry to say

Yes obviously you have experienced the same.
I have done a lot for others.
I still think there is good people in the world
But sometimes it is a lot more cheerful on your own where you know you can leave your best life and there is no one to sour it

 

[lovely_darlingprettybaby]

I get what you mean, and yeah, personally I would like to be a happy little autist just happy dancing my way through life, alone, not carring about other people.

But reality is different...

Yes it is hard to be completely alone
But I too feel the same just happy with my paintings or doing my own thing.
But reality is you do need people because of loneliness and it is hard when others can be such narcissists and snakes.
And the loving and caring sort are few and far between.

 

[kriss72]

Yes it is hard to be completely alone
But I too feel the same just happy with my paintings or doing my own thing.
But reality is you do need people because of loneliness and it is hard when others can be such narcissists and snakes.
And the loving and caring sort are few and far between.

Yeah, was just thinking I might have wanted to be more explicit, like I love my child, wouldn't want a life without her, also I like to be with my friends (in moderation, I need a lot of alone time too), my spouse and all of you in this forum.

I don't want to be completely alone - but I still want to not worry about anything or anyone too sometimes, and since I don't have anyone to happy dance with, I do it alone, and that is fine

I have been hurt by people too, these I don't have time for in my life - but I have also met many that wanted the best for me - it's hard for me to deal with either, so the people I spend my life with outside my family are few and selected.

 

[Au Naturel]

Aloneness can be liberating. Nobody telling me to be different to make them more comfortable.

 

[Ghostinthemachine]

@

Yes obviously you have experienced the same.
I have done a lot for others.
I still think there is good people in the world
But sometimes it is a lot more cheerful on your own where you know you can leave your best life and there is no one to sour it

@lovely_darlingprettybaby I have to agree,I tend to live my life by the maxim always expect the worst from others,if they give their worst your never disappointed if they prove you wrong it's a happy bonus

 

[Ghostinthemachine]

Yeah, was just thinking I might have wanted to be more explicit, like I love my child, wouldn't want a life without her, also I like to be with my friends (in moderation, I need a lot of alone time too), my spouse and all of you in this forum.

I don't want to be completely alone - but I still want to not worry about anything or anyone too sometimes, and since I don't have anyone to happy dance with, I do it alone, and that is fine

I have been hurt by people too, these I don't have time for in my life - but I have also met many that wanted the best for me - it's hard for me to deal with either, so the people I spend my life with outside my family are few and selected.

I also agree with @kriss72 in respect to my own child whom makes my world a better place.i am more referring to others whom have been in my life

 

[KevinMao133]

It is better and people and their bad habits and ways is just a burden.
Think about it overall we would be happier.
I would not be bothered to relate to others much at all.
I would just do my own thing.
I only do it to try to be nice.
I do not fake it but what is the point if most people are horrible anyway and take you for granted and use and abuse you any given moment. I think I get forced to be that way too much on people who are not even worth it.
I think autistics are the same, you can.be autistic and smart and we are geniunely honest and kind and get very used and abused.
So we should not bother to fit with society so much.
And just try to enjoy what life has to offer and not worry about people so much.

Feel the same

However reality is different

 

[Judge]

However reality is different

True. Without what it takes to truly be retired, I doubt I could claim to be living in "near isolation" by choice.

Though my last and final "career" was being self-employed as an investor. Having minimal contact with much of anyone for any reason. I can't recommend investing to just anyone, but when it comes to self-employment if one is sufficiently capitalized it can be a rewarding option for those on the spectrum.

 

[NDR2]

I feel like I need a balance.

 

[Rodafina]

I think I've spent enough time alone. I will always value alone time, but living life truly alone even among other humans did not go well for me. I did it for a very long time and I think I turned into a living ghost. I don't even know if I was really alive and I sure as heck didn't care whether or not I was.

I am like NDR2. I need a balance. Solitude is important, but aloneness is something that I want to leave in my past. I am ready to put in whatever work is necessary to have connections, even if some of them are more difficult to maintain than others.

 

[Levitator]

I just finished telling someone else; I feel the shrug-it-off-and-be-yourself argument. It has some validity until you get to the point where you have nobody in your life. I've been through some humbling things in my life, but I've also seen people mess up a lot of very critical things, and so I've discarded a lot of my vanity. I'm finally willing to play music in front of other people, which I could never bring myself to do before. By the same token, I'm also willing to be vulnerable in order to meet others who will confess that, yes, they too are a weirdo, and they would like to be forgiven and tolerated in exchange for understanding and friendship.

 

[Au Naturel]

"Shrug-it-off-and-be-yourself" doesn't work if you are around proactively intolerant people. Or a persistent bully. "Go-somewhere-and-find-your-niche" is sometimes the better strategy. It is what I had to pursue.

 

[Levitator]

"Shrug-it-off-and-be-yourself" doesn't work if you are around proactively intolerant people. Or a persistent bully. "Go-somewhere-and-find-your-niche" is sometimes the better strategy. It is what I had to pursue.

Yes, I agree that the standard advice very much misses the mark and it comes from people who have no comprehension of the problems faced. If someone is hurting you, whether actively, or by denying you participation, that's material harm which you cannot undo through attitude or by listening to Tony Robbins. Even if they're not denying you employment or education, it's pretty hard to shrug off total solitude. At least it has turned me to faith, but you don't just shrug it off. It sucks.

 

[VictorR]

I need a balance. Solitude is important, but aloneness is something that I want to leave in my past.

Amen to that.

One of the things that's important to me in a job is having the flexibility to arrange your work, and do it mostly independently while having just enough interactions with colleagues and clients to provide a sense of connection but without being overwhelmed.