wanting to prove my bullies wrong

[Erik Bennet]

i am 31 and i live in a care bungalow for people with autism, prader willi syndrome and eating disorders and i have been to five different care homes and my parents are deceased because they were very old when they had me late in their life. i was told by the bullies and teachers during my school days that i would never ammount to anything and would just clean dishes floors collect litter and pack shelves in markets and i want to prove to them wrong by getting a big important job. i asked the staff here to help and they told me i am an adult and go figure it out on my own and i spent long hours googleing a suitable job and am having no luck and i even did go to three job interviews and they turned me down because they thought id be too complicated and i feel so bad about myself when i went to these interviews i had panic attacks when i was being talked to and one called me rude for not looking him in the eye. all i want to do is get a big important carer so i can prove the bullies wrong and even the staff in my care home have told me just seek employment in collecting litter and i think if i did this then my enemies have won. i cannot do college because lack of funds and pulling my hair out trying to find a way to get a big job and im seeing my bullies instagram pages and they have big house car children good paying jobs and frequent holidays and i am in a care home eating toast and microwave food and i want to get ahead of them in life very bad to show them they were wrong and i even asked the care manager who works for the council and she told me to just to find a job to use my skills and i dropped out of school at 14 and dont know what my skills are in 31 years

 

[Major Tom]

I think first you should try to find happiness within yourself. Other people aren't you.

 

[Pats]

I think you need to find something you enjoy doing instead of just trying to prove someone wrong.

 

[nowwhat]

The person who cleans toilets, mops and stocks with dilligence and kindness for everyone is 1000 times better than the "important" person who is a d!ck. All so-called menial jobs are important. Imagine a society where no one cleaned, served food or restocked shelves. Dont let cruel and stupid people determine your direction in life.

 

[sidd851]

Hi, Erik!
Glad you poked your head in!

We're really an okay lot.
We're friendly, and tend to take care of one another. I think you'll enjoy it here.

Many of us here have been in the same, or similar situations.
What those bullies don't know, won't
figure out until it's too late, is that their
"success" isn't really success at all.
What they are really doing is gathering
things.
They've already failed the first test:
They were bullies to begin with.
And the second:
"Things" are what they are worried about,
not people, or friends.

In the end, things and money go away.
Well met friends will not.

I have been in the position of making
tremendous amounts of money.
Many people believe that it will
solve all of their problems.
In truth, it hides them, puts them on a back burner, only to be there later, no further
toward understanding than when they left them.

The real measure of success is told in
kindness, compassion, generosity of spirit.
Only too late will these "successful" bullies
realize that they have nothing, have not grown. That their "success" really means nothing.
I would rather make the bare minimum, and live a good, kind, caring life, than to be rich and not really know myself or others.

Even now, I find my desire to succeed moving in a different direction.
I would like to volunteer to help the less fortunate.
I have found that the paltry things that I have gathered do not compare to the
richness and satisfaction of helping
others.

By all means, if you desire, find your success. Find your strengths, go to a trade school or university. Get a good paying job.
Just don't lose sight of the fact that you
are more important than any of the success
that you may find.

Who we are to one another means more
than anything that we can "get".

I'm glad you've found us, and I hope my
perspective helps.

May you be well.

sidd

 

[tducey]

First off, welcome to our board. We're a good and supportive group. To me, you should worry about just yourself. Don't let anyone get you down. You're capable of a lot of great things, just believe in yourself.

 

[Fino]

I was reading this and thinking, "I know just what to say!"

Then literally everyone said exactly what I was thinking.

Think about what you love to do. Doing what you love is the most "important" thing you'll ever do.

Think of Instagram as a lie machine. They are a series of seconds out of the billions of seconds in a life. If different seconds had been posted, perhaps ones not picked by the person, it would look quite different.

 

[Erik Bennet]

thank you all for your guidance i reallly appreciate it also i never wanted to belittle people with those jobs i listed but the bullies throughout my life it wasnt just school it was adults and peers later on who said i would just be a toilet cleaner because i use to hide in the toilet as it was the only room with a door lock to avoid social situations and they would say i should just clean toilets since im always in there but i was only in there as it had a lock and not because it was a toilet and they belittled people with jobs like that and they said that is all i could do and that is the main reason why i want to prove them wrong and be ahead of them bill gates once said to stop bullying smart kids because oneday they will be asking them for jobs but for me it is the other way around one of the people who use to bully me the most now owns his own fast food chain and he wants people like me to mop up for him and someone i know does that and all the teens and other people throw food at him and laugh at him while he cleans up and call him the r word

 

[AloneNotLonely]

Big house, kids, frequent vacations? Married I suppose?

Mate, you might not even have to do anything to be ahead of them in 20 years. There's this thing called "Divorce" that can send these guys back into a level of poverty you can't even imagine. Oh and the headaches associated with it. Then there's the fact that they don't get to see their kids anymore... and the kids start hating them... doesn't matter if you are mr big shot fast food chain owner if your wife files for divorce.

All of that stuff they have is just more and more headaches anyway. I have money but I live in an apartment the size of a closet, live like a hobo and don't even have a car. All unnecessary stuff that ends up controlling your life and limiting you. You need to clean a big house. You need to pay taxes on it. Oh dear god the maintenance. So annoying. Where do I park my car? Oh I got a fine for forgetting one of the 10000 regulations, now I have to pay this stuff via online banking. Uugghhhh... why would I sign up for that? Vacations are even worse, especially family vacations. There's things to do and places to visit. All of a sudden you have these "obligations". It's like work! And you don't even get paid!

And in case you don't have to work, why would you want to be part of the rat race? Just chill and enjoy your life. Otherwise do something really relaxing like night-time janitor. I'm still beating myself up over trying to climb the corporate ladder with my all important piece of paper from school when I could've been cleaning offices with a pair of headphones on for all of those years.
Fix the microwave dinners though... maybe focus on a skill like healthy cooking?

 

[Pats]

thank you all for your guidance i reallly appreciate it also i never wanted to belittle people with those jobs i listed but the bullies throughout my life it wasnt just school it was adults and peers later on who said i would just be a toilet cleaner because i use to hide in the toilet as it was the only room with a door lock to avoid social situations and they would say i should just clean toilets since im always in there but i was only in there as it had a lock and not because it was a toilet and they belittled people with jobs like that and they said that is all i could do and that is the main reason why i want to prove them wrong and be ahead of them bill gates once said to stop bullying smart kids because oneday they will be asking them for jobs but for me it is the other way around one of the people who use to bully me the most now owns his own fast food chain and he wants people like me to mop up for him and someone i know does that and all the teens and other people throw food at him and laugh at him while he cleans up and call him the r word

Some (not all ) people can be so cruel. My first husband tried to get me to let him stay and was saying to me that I would end up on the street and eating out of trash cans because I couldn't support myself. I told him I would rather.
These 'adults' are not adults. More children know how to treat people than these so-called adults. They really should be mature enough to know better. Don't keep in touch with them and they are not worth you stressing over things they said. If it were me I would probably send one final message letting them know just how inhumane and immature they are being and you have no desire to spend another precious moment of your life around that kind of person, then change your number so they can't contact you. Then do what you enjoy doing and if you can help others in the process, that's great.

 

[Mr Allen]

First off, please don't fall into the trap of living your life to other people's expectations, I willingly admit that part of the reason for my ongoing quest to get a job is to shut the Daily Fail readers on Facebook and Sheffield Forum up about my being a "workshy slave to the benefit system", although I now realise that even if I ever get a job, I'll still be on benefits because I can't physically work enough hours to break even on a week's expenses if I come off benefits, to pay a month's rent I would have to work 50 hours a week at minimum wage, and I would refuse to do it even if I physically could, work should be a thing I enjoy, not something I HAVE to do in order to live in this nice Flat and not some poky 1 Bed dosshouse ion a rough Council estate.