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Unsure what my diagnosis means

treefrogmom

New Member
In 2020 I went in for a psych eval to get to the bottom of my treatment resistant depression etc. My med nurse suggested I might have BPD, not bipolar 2. As I awaited my testing I started looking into what BPD is. I have a family history of it but my family is not the best at understanding mental health stuff. I came across a lot of reports of afab people being misdiagnosed with bipolar then BPD THEN ASD. I have an unclassified learning disability which I was diagnosed with as a young child. So I asked if they could evaluate me for ASD as well.

My raad results came back like 168 or something, I can't find the results ATM. But definitely past the threshold to be diagnosed. BUT! The psychologist said my in person assessment disqualified me for an ASD diagnosis. When I asked how I could get a high raad score but not meet the criteria for ASD she said my results were excessive but that it didn't mean I was faking it. From what I can find about the raad score it's very difficult to fake results and is a reliable tool to diagnosis ASD. When I asked her about the different criteria and presentations between afab and amab patients she agreed but insisted I don't have ASD.

Whenever I come across afab characteristics in groups etc I can't help but find multiple traits that match me.

Currently I have an official diagnosis of severe anxiety, severe depression and BPD.

Does anyone have any insight or similar experience?
 
Obviously, we have no idea of the background of your psychologist with regards to adult, female, autism, as opposed to adult, male, autism. Autistic females, in general, statistically speaking, tend to do much better than males when it comes to communication and socialization, and may, indeed "pass" the interview process. Female autistics, in general, statistically speaking, tend to need a significantly higher genetic load than that of males in order to be diagnosed with autism. It's a double-edged sword, you may be one that has significant difficulties in other areas, but if you interact well with others, you might not meet the diagnostic statistical manual (DSM) criteria. Historically, and statistically, females are at a higher risk of misdiagnosis.

That said, the psychologist may or may not be correct. Perhaps if you took some time to research "adult female autism", you might obtain some better insight into this. YouTube has some helpful videos, as well. THEN, get a second opinion.
 
Not long after I was officially diagnosed, I was shunted off to a different therapist in the mental health department of the HMO I was using through my work. My original diagnosis came from one of the males on staff and not questioned by another male psychiatrist I had seen, but I was once assigned to a woman and without much conversation she had the gall, given the assessment of others on staff, that I did not have Asperger's. I basically just clenched my jaw and gave up on her as biased and well out of her depth, training wise. I do not think she was an actual psychiatrist or in possession of the necessary training and exposure to the condition to make a proper assessment. That was many decades ago, but it is obvious to me that some of those in the mental health profession carry with them preconceived notions of many things without the empathy or insight needed, perhaps twisted by the zeitgeist of wherever they took there degree

So it is my experience that a bias of some sort was at work. As @Neonatal RRT points out, sexual bias does exist, added to the fact that some in the profession are merely loathe to hand out an ASD diagnosis. Is there some reason you need an official diagnosis for work or is it just to ease your own mind and soul? If it is the latter, your test scores should say more to you than the opinion of someone who may be a member of those nay sayers who believe the condition is over diagnosed and thus hold those they evaluate to a much higher standard than required.

I am curious though, your handle suggests you have children, do any of them show any signs of being different than their peers. That could be a way of securing confirmation to ease your own mind on the issue. No matter the answer to that, you are most welcome here and I think you can find a form of validation for yourself within this wonderful community of individuals.
 
The thought of going to a therapist terrifies me, the idea of allowing someone to mess with my head. My mental health is at times a little precarious, but I can not bring myself to trust my problems to someone else. This seems to be a common theme with Australians too, very few of us will ever consider going to any form of mental therapy.

I've had a lot of problems with doctors over the years, more than half of them should never have been allowed to practice. After reading stories on this forum I now believe finding a good therapist is every bit as hit and miss as finding a good doctor.

I wonder how many therapists are causing more problems than they are alleviating.

Welcome to the forums, by the way.
 
I was diagnosed with social anxiety and depression ( he just assumed I was depressed and refused when I denied it).

When, after several visits, my husband asked outright if I can be sent to a specialist to diagnosed ASD, he asked me why I wanted that and I felt so relieved, as I had, for once in my life, done a bit of lone role play and therefore, his question did not fluster me and the answer I gave, satisfied him and was referred to a specialist.

Ironically, he had prescribed a drug to cool down my anger issues which is usually give to those on the autism spectrum and yet, he made no reference to the possibilty from visiting him several times.

Even had a dr laugh at me when I said I could be on the spectrum. She only could see classic autism and thus, made that comparison.

I saw a neuroscientist twice and she was amazing; so kind and gentle and said I got a typical aspie score. I was then referred to a specialist in autism and saw him twice and was diagnosed with grade 2 just missing grade 3 ASD.

Females are rarely diagnosed, because they based traits on BOY behaviour and we females tend to have difference traits.

I consider it a miracle that I was diagnosed.
 
Currently I have an official diagnosis of severe anxiety, severe depression and BPD.

Does anyone have any insight or similar experience?

You could say that. In 1982 I was diagnosed with chronic clinical depression, social anxiety and OCD.

With no mention or thought to being autistic. Though as I recall at a time when the American Psychiatric Association was just beginning to accept and absorb the research of Dr. Hans Asperger. So many of us simply "missed the boat" over considerations of our own autism simply having been born at the wrong time relative to the global medical community.

After so many years of my life, on occasion I want to scream and say, "I don't really know what any of it really means!"
 
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