True Friends...

[Progster]

A true friend is a person who is honest with me, and with whom I don't feel like I have to mask with. As @Luca says, they show it is their actions, not just with their words. In times of need, they will actively check on you, rather than just say, "call me if you need me", and crucially, you will do the same for them.

 

[Au Naturel]

Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.

Maybe I should stop watching The Godfather Part II.

The earliest use of this exact quote, I believe, was by Teddy Roosevelt when he was asked why the "trust buster" often hung out with J.P. Morgan, an avowed enemy of his policies. Variations on it can be traced all the way back to Sun Tzu.

Keep them close so you can keep an eye on them.

 

[Darkkin]

True friends...have never judged me when I had a meltdown. They just let me rage sort and organize the kitchen because I found my spoons, but had no idea where my cereal bowls and glasses were.

They can help look back on situations like this and find the humour in it. They accept that your neurotype is an intrinsic part of who you are, meltdowns, quirky puns, and all. They love you for who you are.

 

[1ForAll]

True friends...have never judged me when I had a meltdown. They just let me rage sort and organize the kitchen because I found my spoons, but had no idea where my cereal bowls and glasses were.

They can help look back on situations like this and find the humour in it. They accept that your neurotype is an intrinsic part of who you are, meltdowns, quirky puns, and all. They love you for who you are.

For your second paragraph, let's say the friend had various serious thoughts about harming others or themselves. Is it ok to not love that? Is it ok to try to see if some help can be given to change that, to know if that was possible or not? Part of a true friend to me is not telling always what that other wants to hear, if that other could be helped by those words or actions from the other that they ordinarily otherwise might not have considered or done. I guess one could say, you love who they are but not those thoughts or potential actions. For severer situations like that, I just would be confused what a true friend would say or do.

 

[Darkkin]

For your second paragraph, let's say the friend had various serious thoughts about harming others or themselves? Is it ok to not love that? Is it ok to try to see if some help can be given to change that, to know if that was possible or not? Part of a true friend to me is not telling always what that other wants to hear, if that other could be helped by those words or actions from the other that they ordinarily otherwise might not have considered or do. I guess one could say, you love who they are but not those thoughts or potential actions. For severer situations like that, I just would be confused what a true friend would say or do.

I guess what I am trying to say that friends acknowledge character flaws that come with being human.

As no one in my finite circles has had issues of violent intent to toward one's self or others, I cannot say. However, responsibility to the mental health and safety of others is accountability.

Two of my closest friends have anxiety disorders, one deals with an eating disorder. If we see a change in anxiety levels, (say more frequent panic attacks or a back slide on poor eating habits to assert some semblance of control), we confront the issue. Definitely lend a shoulder to lean on, but there is a difference between support and destructive enabling. This is something our circle understands.

They might be upset with you for making them face the issue, but ignoring such things does no one any good in the long run. As a group we step in when we need to and it is understood that we aren't doing it to be mean or judgmental; it is because we care.

Candid communication is a key component of this aspect of friendship. While not related by blood, they are family.

 

[Rodafina]

True friends let you be invisible when you need to be, but they don’t forget about you.

 

[Outdated]

I've had quite a few true friends throughout my life, I think I've been blessed like that. It's the way my luck runs, I'll never win the lotto but I always meet good people and I'm really arsey at always getting a good parking spot.

Cultural and linguistic differences give me a slightly different perspective to most of you though, I think the Brits can relate to this as well:

A Friend and a Mate are not necessarily the same thing. A Friend is someone who's company you enjoy and you like hanging out with, a Mate is someone that you trust to have your best interests at heart. Even people that don't like you can prove themselves to be good mates.

 

[Outdated]

A Friend and a Mate are not necessarily the same thing.

Clarification of the term "Mate" as I understand it.

It originates from British shipping back in the day when Brittania ruled the waves. There was a position called a Ship's Mate, and in so many ways this man was married to the ship. The ship itself was his responsibility and woe betide the captain who got his Ship's Mate offside.

The Ship's Mate was the one who hired a couple of heavies and went through a town at 3:00 am looking for comatose sailors and getting them back on board ship. The ship was his responsibility and without a crew it was useless.

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Now I'll get in the shower. Maybe.

 

[Rodafina]

True friends sometimes have four legs and a tail.

 

[blue_bird]

True friends sometimes have four legs and a tail.

Or two wings and a beak.

 

[VictorR]

A true friend is a person who is honest with me, and with whom I don't feel like I have to mask with.