Today has been the most terrifying day of my life.

[Horsegirl]

I was eating lunch, and my name came over the loudspeaker asking me to go to the office. I was bewildered, I never have messages in the office unless I have some sort of appointment. Which, to my knowledge, I didn't. I got there, and I was asked to go to the counseling area.

I thought at that point that I had an IEP meeting, which I wasn't happy about. I hate those. But turns out that wasn't the case. I got there, and my friend was sitting there. With the counceller. She told me she has been self harming since the summer. I can't believe it.

Anyway, somebody noticed one of her cuts on her wrist. She told me how, but it was difficult to understand her. She was kinda all over the place. I can't believe shes been going through this by herself for so long.

I feel like I should have known something was up. For example, we used to go swimming together at the pool every weekend. She started not wanting to go. And when we went to a fair in the summer, she was wearing long sleeves even though it was like 30° out. But stupid little me didn't think anything of it.

I'm terrified that she will try and kill herself. I am terrified all together. I've never really... been exposed to this sort of thing. I mean, of course I knew some people do it, but I've never known anyone on a personal level who does.

 

[TheFreeCat]

I am very glad you are here friend! But, why did they call you in? Where her parents called in?

 

[Horsegirl]

I am very glad you are here friend! But, why did they call you in? Where her parents called in?

They called me in because I'm her friend. Her mom is down in Victoria and couldn't get to the school. And she wanted somebody there. So they called me in. Which I'm glad they did. I'm just very freaked out

 

[Ginseng]

I am glad she has a friend like you! I wish we all had a friend like you.

 

[Monachopia]

That must be so distressing for you... You can't have known, so please don't blame yourself... Be gentle with her, the self-harm is a symptom of something else going on. I self-harmed for years and no one knew, it was a way to get frustration and pain out that I felt inside. It wasn't necessarily because I wanted to die at that time, but it was the only way to express the pain. I obviously don't know your friend or what she's going through, but from what I can say from personal experience, is for you not to concentrate on the harming. She is still the same person but is in deep emotional turmoil. See how you can lift that burden from her, if there's any way to help with the bigger issue that is causing her to turn to it.
You're a good friend, understandably it is upsetting to see someone you are close with in such a low place... Just be there for her no matter what. All I can say is, don't say more about it until she's ready to talk to you... The fact that she asked for you to come be with her is a good step, she trusts you. She may self-harm again, it's not an easy thing to give up, but you being there for her will help her. If you want to talk to someone about it, feel free to PM me any time.

 

[BraidedPony]

I’m a little surprised they called you in, it puts more on your shoulders than you should have to deal with at 13.
Don’t feel bad that you didn’t see the signs, people are very good at hiding self harm.

 

[Horsegirl]

I’m a little surprised they called you in, it puts more on your shoulders than you should have to deal with at 13.
Don’t feel bad that you didn’t see the signs, people are very good at hiding self harm.

I realize it may have been a little odd that they called me in. But she asked. I am not at all upset with the fact that they called me in. I'm glad they did. I want to help her in any way that I can, I'm just really freaked out.

 

[Judge]

I realize it may have been a little odd that they called me in. But she asked. I am not at all upset with the fact that they called me in. I'm glad they did. I want to help her in any way that I can, I'm just really freaked out.

Is this a BC school you speak of? It's all very odd to me...

 

[Horsegirl]

Is this a BC school you speak of? It's all very odd to me...

Yes, why?

 

[Judge]

Yes, why?

Just a number of things you've posted seemed out of the ordinary for American schools. I had to go back and notice your spelling to see that you were likely Canadian. I used to live not too far from the border in Washington many years ago. Been in Victoria a few times as a kid. Nice European architecture.

 

[Horsegirl]

Just a number of things you've posted seemed out of the ordinary for American schools. I had to go back and notice your spelling to see that you were likely Canadian. I used to live not too far from the border in Washington many years ago.

Ah, ok.

 

[Thinx]

Anyone would be shocked and upset by this, and I think you have been really supportive for your friend. @Monachopia offered some helpful advice to be there for your friend but not emphasise the self harming, it's a symptom/effect not the cause of the distress. Adults will be finding support for her now in various ways, you don't have to be thinking about that, but just to keep on being her friend.

That in itself is maybe a bit different just now because you probably feel upset she couldn't tell you her distress, but I expect you will be able to respect that she had deep worries she just couldn't share, as sometimes happens.

You may likely need some extra support for yourself too, and it may be useful to talk to a counsellor about this, and how you are feeling about this and how best to support your friend whilst looking after yourself as well.

 

[Progster]

You were the person who she chose to call to help, that means that she must regard you as a friend and trust you. You could let her know that you are there for her whenever she needs help or to talk about something, you can keep an eye on her for signs of self-harm, but wait for her to approach you to talk or for help, or you might overwhelm her and create distance.