To those of you with a smaller battery - how do you feel about it?

[Jonn]

I often feel like I'm running on different batteries that are connected to different things.

Physical energy, I just dont seem to run out. I dont sit still well and must constantly move. There are times when I'll be in the middle of typing something on here, and I'll abruptly stop, get up, and pace around the basement 8 times before sitting back down and typing the rest. Or today, going up and down stairs over and over. It doesnt really matter how much I do this, I still need to move. I will say, this is useful for hiking and such. Less useful for when I need to wait for stuff.

Sounds like ADHD.

ADHD might give physical energy at times, but the motivational battery needed to stick with a project may suffer.

Social energy, yikes. I think someone was supposed to stick a proper Duracell in there, but they forgot to put their glasses on first so what they actually did was stick a fossilized dog turd in there. I'm drained after 5 minutes of talking. I tell ya, this makes it hard to keep connections going.

There is a surprisingly large amount of energy in doggy doo.
Toss some in a campfire and see.

That has the odd side effect of increasing the need to move as well. I get pretty erratic after having to deal with any sort of social event.

I forgot where I was going with any of this.

Happens to me all the time.

 

[AuroraBorealis]

I often feel like I'm running on different batteries that are connected to different things.

Physical energy, I just dont seem to run out. I dont sit still well and must constantly move. There are times when I'll be in the middle of typing something on here, and I'll abruptly stop, get up, and pace around the basement 8 times before sitting back down and typing the rest. Or today, going up and down stairs over and over. It doesnt really matter how much I do this, I still need to move. I will say, this is useful for hiking and such. Less useful for when I need to wait for stuff.

Social energy, yikes. I think someone was supposed to stick a proper Duracell in there, but they forgot to put their glasses on first so what they actually did was stick a fossilized dog turd in there. I'm drained after 5 minutes of talking. I tell ya, this makes it hard to keep connections going.

That has the odd side effect of increasing the need to move as well. I get pretty erratic after having to deal with any sort of social event.

I forgot where I was going with any of this.

@Misery, I had to smile reading your post because it sounded so relatable. I agree with @Jonn that it does sound rather ADHD-ish, but no long-distance diagnoses here. I keep forgetting where I was going with something all the time.

I'm worried about this small battery becoming a problem at work. Even though I already reduced hours, I still seem to get sick for a few days every 1-2 months, and it seems to happen more often than with others. I'm out of the probation period and it's not excessive, but I'm still worried about it creating problems long-term. Only once was it because of exhaustion, the other times I was physically sick (which, as mentioned, can also happen because of overexertion). I know that I'm sick more often than others, and it worries me. I do a good job when I'm there, but I do know that I create organizational problems by being sick more often.

Would that include attention span?

I don't know. I do know that I am very forgetful, a scatterbrain, and have trouble remembering what people said, which others translate to me needing to "pay attention". But because I generally have very elaborate techniques (I had a near-perfectly kept calendar already at the age of 7 where I would write down EVERYTHING I needed to remember for school), which take up a lot of my time, such as taking super-detailed notes of all my appointments so I don't forget, it's not that visible to others how much I actually struggle to keep my life organized. It's mostly visible at work, because I have to handle so many things simultaneously there that my compensatory strategies reach their limit.

 

[Jonn]

I don't know. I do know that I am very forgetful, a scatterbrain, and have trouble remembering what people said, which others translate to me needing to "pay attention".

I am the same.
Coincidentally, I talked about this to my sister in the car today.

I am convinced that my very poor memory has a lot to do with my ADHD.
Doing one thing, but thinking about something else.
Sort of going through life daydreaming.

As Sherlock Holmes would say:
"Jonn, you see/hear but you do not observe."

These days, I am focusing on being "Mindful" and have noticed an improvement.

 

[vergil96]

I'm curious how people manage to feel good or accepting about it

It seems like everyone is all over the place doing everything at the same time

And how to manage if you don't have the energy to clean, but are allergic to dust or don't have the energy to cook, but have celiac disease and can't buy most of your food... or if you don't have the energy to move but have adhd and then can't sleep if you don't move...

 

[Coxhere]

To those of you who feel like they have a smaller battery (figuratively) than others: Does that frustrate you? What do you think/how do you feel about that? Do you just accept it, or does it make you angry or sad? Do you see anything positive about that?

I don't mean just social capacity. I mean generally. Since I can remember, I feel like I have always had a smaller battery that would affect me particularly when it included other people, but I also noticed it when it was just me.

Family holidays, school trips, summer camps, internships, work, etc. - at a certain point, I'd get exhausted, irritable, but also start feeling sick physically and would NEED a certain amount of time by myself with no program or socialising. I notice this also now that I work, even though it's part-time now. I get sick more often than others, with often unspecified symptoms that knock me out for a few days. It's usually some nausea, maybe a sore throat, some dizziness, and especially an intense desire to spend a (few) day(s) with no external tasks and by myself. The symptoms disappear shortly after I gave in and took some time off. It's like every few weeks, my body and mind say "okay, need a break now whether you like it or not", which I can't ignore.

Others often say to "push through", but as long as I can remember, that didn't work for me because at some (early) point, my body would start developing symptoms that made me feel as though I was sick, and if I'd ignore them, I'd feel as though I'd pass out, or start crying violently.

It would happen every time. An example when it didn't involve other people was when I worked on the dog farm for 2 months and had lots of alone time, peace and quiet. Still, after a few weeks, I got nauseated one day for no reason and felt the intense need to have a day off, otherwise I'd start crying and sort of melt down for no reason.

I struggle to not think of myself as weak because of it.

Do you experience this too? How does it make you feel?

 

[Coxhere]

Until I'd joined this group, I'd not heard of nor understood what the expression, "small battery," meant. As I read the responses to the original post regarding this expression, they make me think of the word "trigger." With a small battery, things that usually don't bother NTs, create TRIGGERS in me. And my way to cope with these triggers is to remove myself as far away from them as possible. An example is: I don't cope well with hyper-authority figures who don't/won't listen and don't care to understand me or situations in which I am involved. If I cannot get away from them, I go nuts and think, feel, and behave in ways that are not in my best interest. How can one "push through?" I have to escape!

 

[Coxhere]

Yeah I don't think I've ever had much of a battery. I have only ever been able to tolerate so much and I'm okay with it.

Sounds familiar.

 

[Coxhere]

I have never bothered comparing myself to others, that's a quick track to a sad life.

I miss the drive and enthusiasm that I used to have and the energy that went with that.

Isn't it even sadder (or even madder), Outdated, if one isn't able to "get away?"

 

[Coxhere]

I feel totally accepting of it. I don’t wish I was any different because I like how I am. Especially now that I understand my social and physical stamina better, I have adapted to what is normal for me and feel totally comfortable with that.

It just doesn’t matter what I perceive others can or will do because that’s not going to work for me. I don’t measure my own value by what other people are good at. I see my strengths. It’s okay with me that those don’t mirror those around me. I’m gonna stick to my slow pace, my daily naps, and my simple life. There is enough suffering that will come my way- I don’t need to go looking for it by constantly wearing myself out and tearing myself down.

And what you've written isn't out of complacency; it's because of self-awareness. Your comments indicate a positive place, Rodifina. I wanna "hang out" with folks like you!

 

[Outdated]

Isn't it even sadder (or even madder), Outdated, if one isn't able to "get away?"

I was blessed by circumstances I think, as well as always having a very stubborn and obstinate nature.

The Australia I was born in to was not a very nice place, unless you were blonde and blue eyed and had a cross hanging around your neck. When I was born the White Australia Policy was still written in to law. That ended in 1968.

Laws can be changed overnight, people's attitudes can not.

I grew up in a truly horrid society but as I grew up things were changing. We didn't know anything about autism back then but I was obviously different to everyone else even if no one could put their finger on what that difference was. Being different when I was a kid was not a pleasant experience.

But when I was in my late teens religious dominance of our society had been finally and completely broken and for a long while anyone different was celebrated, and I especially stood out because I was different from almost everyone else. I wasn't gay or disabled or black, just weird.

That didn't last forever of course, during the 90s our society started becoming more conservative again, but there's a lot of us that fight tooth and nail to prevent us from ever returning to what we used to be.

 

[Coxhere]

there's a lot of us that fight tooth and nail to prevent us from ever returning to what we used to be.

 

[Coxhere]

One of the slogans of anti-Trumpism during the 2024 U. S. election was, "We're not going back!"

 

[Jonn]

I have never been a fan of trump.

 

[Jonn]

I'm curious how people manage to feel good or accepting about it

Some aspects of stoicism help me.

Resilience:
Stoicism provides a framework for developing resilience in the face of challenges and setbacks. By accepting what we cannot control and focusing on what we can, we can navigate difficult situations with greater equanimity.

• Emotional Regulation:
  Stoicism encourages individuals to understand and manage their emotions in a rational way, rather than being controlled by them. This involves recognizing negative emotions, understanding their causes, and responding to them with wisdom and virtue.
  

• Living in the Present:
  Stoicism emphasizes the importance of living in the present moment and appreciating the opportunities it provides. By focusing on the here and now, we can avoid the anxieties of the future and the regrets of the past.
  

It seems like everyone is all over the place doing everything at the same time

It can be like that.

And how to manage if you don't have the energy to clean, but are allergic to dust or don't have the energy to cook, but have celiac disease and can't buy most of your food... or if you don't have the energy to move but have adhd and then can't sleep if you don't move...

I use the "Baby Steps" principle where I can.
Not doing great at the moment, but I am improving lately.
Ebbs and flows, but "Two steps forward, and one back" does eventually prevail.
"Heading in the right direction."

I actively simplified my life wherever I could.
Much easier when you are retired and single, of course.