Thinking About the Future

[stewdog80]

I need to post this here because I feel like people won't judge me for my past. I was different as a child, normal intelligence, but I had a different take on everything. My sense of humor wasn't what other people call a sense of humor. I was funny to most people, but some of the things I did were almost Gallagher-like. Just not universally accepted as funny. One of my teachers thought I was totally nuts. I was sent to a shrink and they said nothing was amiss. One thing to note, this teacher was in her late 70's. I got thrown on ADD meds in middle school. I don't have sensory issues or melt-downs. I have a horrible working memory and an amazing long term memory. I never forget someone after meeting them. I remember their face and their names most of the time. My father is the same way.

I can get through school if I need to. It won't be pretty, and due to my social limitations, I will be made fun of by NT students AND teachers! Like many people on the spectrum, I experimented with many substances over the years. Marijuana opened me up to people. I was able to laugh and slightly get a glimpse at how other people perceive me and other things, just briefly. People on the spectrum usually don't like their status in life and use mind altering drugs to escape from reality. I am just now coming off all medications and drugs and alcohol. It is the worst hell you could imagine, but I feel more like myself than I have felt in a long time.

My question is, what am I supposed to do now?...Get ssi? I don't want to languish away on ssi, living in a bedbug infested college flop house for the rest of my life. I would like to work. I have slight ptsd from being treated like a mentally challenged person for the past 8 years by my co-workers and people who don't really know me. I am very wary of any social situation. Should I go to school? I'm considering nursing. I also like working construction and being outside. I can't figure out what to do with my life, at all. My past history is going into certain fields or courses blindly, not considering if they are a good fit or not, and then failing at them. I don't know what to do.

 

[shysnail]

I think your last sentence is the crux of the issue, and also the answer to your question. You need to think about what would fit you well. I know as an autistic person that there are jobs I would have liked to have done in terms of the content of the job, but I couldn't manage the social side of it. That's been my experience. I'm not saying that's true for all autistic people by any means. But I do think that for some people, being able to 'overcome' their autistic traits in order to do a job they're passionate about is just not possible.

Therefore, you need to be realistic with yourself and come to know what you struggle with. You said about social situations, so think about jobs that don't require much social interaction. Then, once you've narrowed down some options, perhaps you'd be able to find ways into those career routes through volunteering. This could give you a taste of the job, so you could see whether you liked it before committing. For example, if you're thinking about nursing, are there any volunteer roles going at your local hospital? You'd get a taste of the environment and see what nurses have to do in their jobs in a very firsthand way.

I think ultimately the challenge is being very honest with yourself about who you are, what you can put yourself through and what you can't, and then working a job that fits that. Trying to make yourself fit a job is much harder and more liable to fail, I think.

 

[AloneNotLonely]

Get SSI. Pay attention to the Security part of the acronym.

You need to have a serious plan to get somewhere in life so you don't end up slaving away for nothing. Not sure how it is in your country, but in many places you can live quite royally off of SSI. Once you have SSI you need to see how easy it is to get back on it in the event of a failed work situation.

It's better for you to start working rather than go to school. Things do not change from school to work, you still have to put up with the same retards. Only this time they have complete control over your income as well. So chances are you would go to school only to figure out you cannot deal with all the crazy stuff that goes on at work.

You are better off trying to learn skills on your own (programming or something) while on SSI and then see if you can work on your own as a programmer, website designer, etc. Customers can be a total pain to deal with and will also try to take advantage of you, but it's far easier to deal with than office politics.

 

[Autistamatic]

Udemy is a great way of learning new skills at your own pace. It's far kinder than traditional education and can be done in your spare time and at your own pace even when you're working

Online Courses - Learn Anything, On Your Schedule | Udemy

Courses can be expensive, but they have offers all the time that take £200+ courses down to £12 for limited periods.

Why not have a browse of their huge catalogue and see if there's something there that appeals to you and might help you choose a direction for study and/or work. There's courses covering everything you could imagine, not just computer related stuff.

 

[Pats]

Don't know where you are, but go see a counselor at a community college. They can give tests to see where your strengths are.
And if you are in the US - no, you can't live like royalty on SSI. My mom got around $300/month.

 

[Judge]

Sounds like you need to seek some high-quality job counseling. The kind that may involve a fee.

Let some professionals determine where your real strengths lie rather than approach such a thing in a haphazard manner. Besides, such a process may even expose you to work you weren't even aware of.

It's how I found meaningful work in a very bad economy many years ago.

 

[GadAbout]

I won't say no autistic people are nurses, but it doesn't seem like a good fit, it's all social contact. Construction might be a better fit if you are mechanically capable. I think seeking career counseling at the community college was a good suggestion (above) and volunteering in a specific field is also helpful at getting a taste for how you would like that job.

You should try working before trying to get on SSI. If you fail, don't feel bad but view it as evidence for why you are qualified for SSI. If you succeed, Great!

 

[stewdog80]

I think your last sentence is the crux of the issue, and also the answer to your question. You need to think about what would fit you well. I know as an autistic person that there are jobs I would have liked to have done in terms of the content of the job, but I couldn't manage the social side of it. That's been my experience. I'm not saying that's true for all autistic people by any means. But I do think that for some people, being able to 'overcome' their autistic traits in order to do a job they're passionate about is just not possible.

Therefore, you need to be realistic with yourself and come to know what you struggle with. You said about social situations, so think about jobs that don't require much social interaction. Then, once you've narrowed down some options, perhaps you'd be able to find ways into those career routes through volunteering. This could give you a taste of the job, so you could see whether you liked it before committing. For example, if you're thinking about nursing, are there any volunteer roles going at your local hospital? You'd get a taste of the environment and see what nurses have to do in their jobs in a very firsthand way.

I think ultimately the challenge is being very honest with yourself about who you are, what you can put yourself through and what you can't, and then working a job that fits that. Trying to make yourself fit a job is much harder and more liable to fail, I think.

My work history sucks. I was young and immature when I first started working so I applied for whatever jobs would hire me. I didn't know I was ND. My resume is a joke. In the past, I would go into a course blindly, without considering if it would be right for me. I didn't know, I just didn't want to be homeless. I don't know If I can overcome my autistic traits. I have NO IDEA what action to take. Right now I'm just getting off the meds.

 

[stewdog80]

Get SSI. Pay attention to the Security part of the acronym.

You need to have a serious plan to get somewhere in life so you don't end up slaving away for nothing. Not sure how it is in your country, but in many places you can live quite royally off of SSI. Once you have SSI you need to see how easy it is to get back on it in the event of a failed work situation.

It's better for you to start working rather than go to school. Things do not change from school to work, you still have to put up with the same retards. Only this time they have complete control over your income as well. So chances are you would go to school only to figure out you cannot deal with all the crazy stuff that goes on at work.

You are better off trying to learn skills on your own (programming or something) while on SSI and then see if you can work on your own as a programmer, website designer, etc. Customers can be a total pain to deal with and will also try to take advantage of you, but it's far easier to deal with than office politics.

I hear you. Problem is, I don't have any plan at all. I have never had a plan for my life. Ever. If I work, It is going to destroy me physically. I was a body builder for years and I can barely do the work these 120 pound dudes are doing. They do it day in day out for 20 years and I won't last 6 months. Maybe coding, I can learn any language but would I have to do any abstract math? I don't know anything about coding, I am just starting to look into programming. I don't want to go full speed ahead at something, in true aspie fashion and then I find out I'm not suited for the field.

 

[stewdog80]

Don't know where you are, but go see a counselor at a community college. They can give tests to see where your strengths are.
And if you are in the US - no, you can't live like royalty on SSI. My mom got around $300/month.

I've thought about doing that. That is a good suggestion.

 

[AloneNotLonely]

That sounds like the exact same thing I had. Although I would work out continuously, I had to keep taking long breaks from working out because I couldn't handle normal physical activity (Working or even just a day at the park) in addition to a workout day. I also had massive trouble with higher volume. Didn't really get anywhere either after I hit the "Nice lean muscular guy but not big" level, and I chalked this up to laziness.

Years later turns out I have a form of Muscular Dystrophy. So... not saying this is the case for you... but it certainly seems like you have something else going on than just Autism.

This is why I said get SSI, and try to achieve something while using that as a fallback/shield should things go bad. Hence why I said you should figure out if it's possible to get back on after failed work experience.

There's no other way than to try and fail. Can you spend 8-12 hours a day behind a computer writing code? If that is something you know won't last, then you don't need to learn it. But if you think it might be your thing, then it's possible for you to fail. Then you just pick up the pieces and try something else. It's not really failure, you just found something that didn't work. But it is important that you aren't going to end up on the streets when this happens, so make sure you keep the SSI as a possible backup.

 

[tducey]

As others have said a counselor might be in your best interests. Good luck.

 

[stewdog80]

As others have said a counselor might be in your best interests. Good luck.

Thank you, sir.

 

[stewdog80]

That sounds like the exact same thing I had. Although I would work out continuously, I had to keep taking long breaks from working out because I couldn't handle normal physical activity (Working or even just a day at the park) in addition to a workout day. I also had massive trouble with higher volume. Didn't really get anywhere either after I hit the "Nice lean muscular guy but not big" level, and I chalked this up to laziness.

Years later turns out I have a form of Muscular Dystrophy. So... not saying this is the case for you... but it certainly seems like you have something else going on than just Autism.

This is why I said get SSI, and try to achieve something while using that as a fallback/shield should things go bad. Hence why I said you should figure out if it's possible to get back on after failed work experience.

There's no other way than to try and fail. Can you spend 8-12 hours a day behind a computer writing code? If that is something you know won't last, then you don't need to learn it. But if you think it might be your thing, then it's possible for you to fail. Then you just pick up the pieces and try something else. It's not really failure, you just found something that didn't work. But it is important that you aren't going to end up on the streets when this happens, so make sure you keep the SSI as a possible backup.

The fatigue during strenuous work was actually most likely due to poor diet and lifestyle choices. Although I'm not without my potential health risks.