The little hazards of living alone and remembering little tasks.

[Rocco]

I have found that living alone has many advantages and disadvantages for me as an Aspie. It is great to have space, privacy, unbridled freedom however, there are many little drawbacks to endure or overcome.

I have difficulty remembering to do some things like drinking enough water or staying mindful about unusual bills or tasks that require attention. I recently read a post from Neonatal RRT about asymmetrical intelligence and the phrase and concept have been on my mind since. Sometimes I can accomplish great things and other times the most basic things elude me.

With no one to pressure me to clean and organize, I find my primary vehicle a dirty disaster, my living space cluttered, and my mind experiencing more clutter to match my environment. When I have a visitor coming over it becomes a semi-frantic effort to declutter horizontal surfaces.

I called in sick today because all night I had bad leg cramps and a headache from dehydration. I often forget to drink enough water both at work and at home.

I am considering making lists of daily chores and self care requirements to put around my home and vehicles. I find that idea simultaneously helpful and ridiculous.

I gave up on dating many months ago due to lack of motivation and lack of disposable funds. I still have some FWB, but have been scaling that back more and more simply because I cannot find motivation to declutter and make my home presentable.

I also forget semi-important tasks like making myself a lunch, redeeming recyclables, and decisions to improve myself or my life. I recently realized and accepted that I have officially hit “middle age” or the general halfway point of my expected life.

I genuinely never thought I would get this far, nor did I intend to, particularly after joining the military and going to war almost 24 years ago. As my body begins to show signs of age I try to accept things like slightly impaired vision, increased fragility and aches/pains/limitations.

I assume many of us on the spectrum struggle with a similar lack of mindfulness and I wonder about other solitary living Aspies… how do you keep up with all the little things in life that need attention periodically (or daily)?

Sorry for the long ramble and whining, just kind of venting and also looking for solutions to the things I overlook. I’m still half awake early in the morning drafting this post.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

I am all about check-off lists. "What do I need to do tomorrow?" Write it down with a check box next to it. Attack things early in the day...then have time for a nap in the afternoon...yeah, that's a thing now. I'm the type of person that must take advantage of my morning energy, knowing that later on in the day I am going to peter out and not want to do anything.

 

[Judge]

It's ok, Rocco. I hear ya.

It can be disturbing at times for some of us living entirely alone. Particularly if and when we are reminded that our existence amounts to doing a "high-wire act"- without a net. No one to look after us at all. A sobering thought for those of you who still have someone to lean on occasionally.

In my own case I have two things going for me. One, simply having grown up in a military family with a certain amount of personal discipline instilled in me that I never lose track of. The second is pathological, the result of having OCD which compels me to remain on top of things.

And as a ritual, I do one thing seven days a week. I make my bed, just to remind myself that I have to maintain some modicum of discipline in my own best interest. That at times all I can do in the face of adversity s to "soldier on". Though admittedly going into my seventies, it is getting distinctly more difficult given a fading memory. At times I have to look at my digital clock just to keep track of what day it is. Being retired can have some strange drawbacks.

Beyond that, (no joke) that I make the most of Post-It Notes... writing all kinds of things down, so I don't explicitly rely only on my own memory to get things accomplished. And I routinely look at my entries in a my checkbook to keep track of upcoming bills, not only to pay them but make sure they actually made it to my mailbox.

Just moments ago I finished writing down my grocery list on a Post-It Note. Geez, I'd forget half of it if I tried to rely on memory alone!

 

[Rodafina]

Hope you are feeling better, @Rocco. Dehydration ain't no joke.

Each morning, I make a pretty detailed list of the day ahead. Even though I'm not working at the moment and have few demands on my time, I still organize my day with great detail and intention. I allow flexibility in the plan, but I do have a basic plan for each day by the time I'm done with my morning coffee. The process of writing things down really organizes my mind and I sure do enjoy the dopamine hit from crossing things off as I do them. Since I started writing down all of my water intake, I haven't been under 80oz.

There are a few things that will definitely happen every day like taking my dog for a walk and exercising that give my day structure. I try to pair important things (like taking my vitamins) with one of those things.

 

[FayetheADHDsquirrel]

In addition to the forgetting to eat and drink, doesn't the isolation ever drive you crazy? I mean, it can be nice to get off by yourself for an hour or two, but much more than that and you need to turn on the TV or something at least to assure yourself other humans exist and be able to at least pretend someone else is there.

 

[Rocco]

I like the isolation about 90% of the time. If I didn’t have a dog or a job, I could go days without speaking. I do stream shows or watch dvds for a sense of pleasant company sometimes.

I like the ideas of pre planning the day and checklists.

 

[Vesta]

I used to think I was conscious even better than most, but as I've come to realize, that's not really true. I've never lived alone, and I think that would be hard for me psychologically. When my parents go away I get anxious, it's creepy for me to be alone in the house. That said, I'd like to live alone, but my parents would hardly approve.

 

[Rocco]

It is a strange realization to admit to oneself the limitations or weaknesses experienced @Vesta

 

[Outdated]

I called in sick today because all night I had bad leg cramps and a headache from dehydration. I often forget to drink enough water both at work and at home.

I also keep forgetting to drink enough. I learnt to take note of the colour of my urine, the darker the colour the more desperately your body needs water.

As for the leg cramps, do you have a stand up job on hard concrete floors all day? It's a common problem for men working physical jobs, easily fixed by taking a Magnesium supplement. Don't take them every day like it says on the bottle though, that's a con job to make you spend more money. One every couple of weeks is enough.

 

[Rocco]

I do stand, climb, or walk for about 7-1/2 hours per day, no matter what project I’m doing.
The bulk of my work has been done from elevated work platforms and boom lifts on this current job. I’m usually about 25 feet in the air on a swaying platform beneath hot solar at panels. This job will be over in about two weeks or less and I do not intend to take another solar project if I can help it.
I usually take one electrolyte packet each day with magnesium and potassium, which is added to a water bottle.

 

[grommet]

I have found that living alone has many advantages and disadvantages for me as an Aspie. It is great to have space, privacy, unbridled freedom however, there are many little drawbacks to endure or overcome.

I have difficulty remembering to do some things like drinking enough water or staying mindful about unusual bills or tasks that require attention. I recently read a post from Neonatal RRT about asymmetrical intelligence and the phrase and concept have been on my mind since. Sometimes I can accomplish great things and other times the most basic things elude me.

With no one to pressure me to clean and organize, I find my primary vehicle a dirty disaster, my living space cluttered, and my mind experiencing more clutter to match my environment. When I have a visitor coming over it becomes a semi-frantic effort to declutter horizontal surfaces.

I called in sick today because all night I had bad leg cramps and a headache from dehydration. I often forget to drink enough water both at work and at home.

I am considering making lists of daily chores and self care requirements to put around my home and vehicles. I find that idea simultaneously helpful and ridiculous.

I gave up on dating many months ago due to lack of motivation and lack of disposable funds. I still have some FWB, but have been scaling that back more and more simply because I cannot find motivation to declutter and make my home presentable.

I also forget semi-important tasks like making myself a lunch, redeeming recyclables, and decisions to improve myself or my life. I recently realized and accepted that I have officially hit “middle age” or the general halfway point of my expected life.

I genuinely never thought I would get this far, nor did I intend to, particularly after joining the military and going to war almost 24 years ago. As my body begins to show signs of age I try to accept things like slightly impaired vision, increased fragility and aches/pains/limitations.

I assume many of us on the spectrum struggle with a similar lack of mindfulness and I wonder about other solitary living Aspies… how do you keep up with all the little things in life that need attention periodically (or daily)?

Sorry for the long ramble and whining, just kind of venting and also looking for solutions to the things I overlook. I’m still half awake early in the morning drafting this post.

I do not. I am still learning basic things like how to clean properly and when to do it. The dentist taught me 20 years ago how to take care of my teeth. I am autistic so once I am told, I can keep doing it the same way.

I did not know about the big changes your life. That is a lot. I hope you find a way. I hope your ideas work out. I think other people on the site will have advice, I hope it helps.

The aging thing is hard. It is strange to see an older body. I never thought I would be an old person. My close-up eyesight changed around age 40. I was able to read and see tiny thing very close up then it was blurry. I learned about reading glasses and carry them.

I hope you can remember to drink more water so you do not get cramps but also to find out about electrolytes. I had a rigging instructor who told me he was working with a partner all day on the dock in the sun. Later they both got terrible cramps in their arms. One of the salts told them to drink Gatorade and they did and the problem stopped. I am not recommending Gatorade or anything I just wanted you to have enough electrolytes and I think water may not be enough help.

 

[Masked Man]

I have an old school calendar/planner on my table where I keep track of appointments and things I need to do. I mean I also keep that stuff on my iPhone but the calendar is the thing I see first in the morning. I write things on there that I have to do, things to buy, or just things I have to remember. It works very well for me so I don't see any reason to change it.

Eating/drinking has never been a problem for me, although admittedly in the past I did not drink enough plain water. I was drinking too much sugary soda and that caused me to gain weight, but I pretty much managed to kick that habit as an older teenager. The calendar thing is only fairly recent (maybe for the last year or two). I got the idea from my grandparents.

 

[WhitewaterWoman]

Some of my habits were born of necessity while running a business with lots of appointments in different places and lots of deadlines. The iPhone became my personal assistant. And work was so busy I didn’t have time to worry about whether the house was clean. I have an app for calendar and for lists like grocery shopping.

But now that I am retired, I frequently have to check the phone or computer to figure out what day of the week it is.

To start a new habit, it helps it to pair it with an already established habit. I must take pills morning and night. And I participate in a Quaker meeting daily, So morning is: insert hearing aides, take blood pressure, drink coffee substitute, take pills, do morning hygiene, get dressed. Then my Quaker meeting. Then whatever has to be done that day. It isn’t perfect and doesn’t always go that way, but it creates a sort of framework.

I have a hard time drinking enough. I also have trouble with electrolyte balance. I drink one Powerade daily at least. For my canoe trip I have a recipe now for Tang, with added salt, K+ and Mg.

As you know, I love living alone. I can go whole weeks or more without talking to someone IRL. Now that I have so much alone time, I have found my ability to converse with others is much enhanced.

I think that with time you will figure out these other miscellaneous activities of daily living so that they are done good enough.

 

[Jumpinbare]

In addition to the forgetting to eat and drink, doesn't the isolation ever drive you crazy? I mean, it can be nice to get off by yourself for an hour or two, but much more than that and you need to turn on the TV or something at least to assure yourself other humans exist and be able to at least pretend someone else is there.

I just spent the last 3 days alone in the woods. It was great!

As for the leg cramps, do you have a stand up job on hard concrete floors all day? It's a common problem for men working physical jobs, easily fixed by taking a Magnesium supplement. Don't take them every day like it says on the bottle though, that's a con job to make you spend more money. One every couple of weeks is enough.

If I miss 1 day of my Magnesium Oxide tablets, I get leg cramps. Pretty consistently.