• Welcome to Autism Forums, a friendly forum to discuss Aspergers Syndrome, Autism, High Functioning Autism and related conditions.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Private Member only forums for more serious discussions that you may wish to not have guests or search engines access to.
    • Your very own blog. Write about anything you like on your own individual blog.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon! Please also check us out @ https://www.twitter.com/aspiescentral

Telephones??

S

Sal26

Active Member
Hi!! I've not had a particularly good week this week and I'm sure I read something on here a while back about aspies not answering their phones. I've not noticed this before but my phone has rang many times this week and I've not answered it even though I know who the caller is and it makes me feel quite anxious. Texting I'm fine with! I've also been diagnosed with ADD. Can any one give any insight to why the phone makes me feel like this???? [emoji52]
 
The only reason I even have a phone is work, because they require one. Thankfully its a free device plugged into my internet and a phone base, so it costs me nothing extra to have it. Very few people know the number, I like it that way.
 
I don't know whether this could be true for you too - I prefer texting/chatting because it gives me time to think about my reply.
 
I am the same. I hate talking on the phone. I've trained my friends never to call me unless it's an emergency.
 
Phone calls are a spontaneous interaction based on what you hear, with very little time to process and respond. Texting offers us a visual understanding, and buffers the whole interactive process. Plenty of time to edit our response. When the phone rings, the anxiety I feel, is an instinctive response to all the phone conversations I've had, that have been a train wreck.
 
I have to agree that using mediums for text messaging people is a lot more better than talking on the phone :/

For me, when I talk on the phone I sort of stop thinking and become like a deer caught in a stream of headlights. My brain seems to stop working and I have a hard time carrying conversations with people because I'm not all there. I wonder if this is anxiety when I talk on the phone ...

I try to avoid a ringing phone if I could and prefer either chatting with someone over the internet or through messages and etc. That way I could have some time to think about what I'm about to say and try to make myself clear and understood.
 
I will do pretty much anything to avoid talking on the phone. If it is unavoidable I tend to spend quite a while beforehand planning what I need to say and trying to predict what the other person will say, and if someone calls me I will always let it go to answer phone so I will have an idea of the topic they want to discuss... if they don't leave a message then it's clearly not important! Even with planning it's very stressful and tiring :confused:

Text and email is much better, it gives time to carefully formulate a reply.
 
I am self-employed, so I have to have one so my customers can call. All of my work related calls have the same ring. All my friends(not many) and family have another ring. " She Who Must Be Obeyed" (my wife) has her own ring. All other calls have a generic ring. If it's work or my wife, I always answer. If it's friends or family, I usually answer. If it's anything else, I rarely answer. If it's text, I ignore it. I do not do texts. It seems to me like going back to the telegraph.
 
I've never been a phone person, as far as the whole talking thing. Texting I totally cool with. When I was younger I HATED talking on the phone because I felt like I was gonna have an anxiety attack no matter who the caller was or how important the conversation was. It's kinda rare now because I try to distract myself enough to where I can still pay attention to the conversation but forget my anxiety. Most of the time I have to pace back and forth across the room just to get through a phone call. Weird I know but that's how I've learned to adapt/cope.
 
I can talk on the phone but I just get so speechless and I get really anxious. :( And I have a very monotonous voice that no one seems to like. Usually, when I talk on the phone, I'm like you, Anon. I walk around or I just lay down where no one else is talking.
 
Tyler Ford said:
I can talk on the phone but I just get so speechless and I get really anxious. :( And I have a very monotonous voice that no one seems to like. Usually, when I talk on the phone, I'm like you, Anon. I walk around or I just lay down where no one else is talking.
Click to expand...
Sometimes I lay down as well. Depending on how the conversation goes though, I either make it through the entire thing like that or I jump up from bed and start pacing.
 
So for me, it's better to text people because I don't think they would want to hear how I sound. I've had people tell me my voice sounds seducing. o.O
 
Interesting because I thought having a seductive voice was considered sexy. Seems odd for someone to imply that that's a negative thing. I can almost understand the monotone thing but I would appreciate a seductive voice. :)
Tyler Ford said:
So for me, it's better to text people because I don't think they would want to hear how I sound. I've had people tell me my voice sounds seducing. o_O
Click to expand...
 
Once when I was about 13, I went on a camp for school kids. A week or so later the leader rang me. He said, "I just rang to say 'Hi'". So I replied, 'Hi' and immediately hung up. A few minutes later I cracked up because I realized I'd taken him too literally!

Back on topic, I really hate talking on the phone too. Part of it is I can't see how the other person is responding. It makes me aware that even as aspies we rely more on body language and non verbal cues than maybe people think.
 
Last edited:
Talking on the phone is the scariest damn thing. I have thrown up multiple times before and after a phone call. Same goes for the doorbell... *shudder*
 
Bel said:
Talking on the phone is the scariest damn thing. I have thrown up multiple times before and after a phone call. Same goes for the doorbell... *shudder*
Click to expand...

That's rough :fearful::pensive: And yup, the doorbell is also scary as hell. The fact the the doorbell in this house is terribly horrifyingly LOUD simply sets me off in an immediate panic without even having to process that "oh no there's someone at the door I'm not prepared GO AWAY!" :fearscream:
 
I handle calls from unknown numbers better because I know that they are probably trying to sell something so that's an easy conversation ( if you can call it that!! ) and I answer the phone at work because I guess I'm answering specific questions! Been great to read all of your posts and thank you for the feed back! [emoji7][emoji7]
 
For me, talking on the phone makes me feel like talking to someone in person does minus having them physically there. There's still all the anxiety regarding immediate back and forth conversation, with me having to interpret their tone and question properly and immediately expected to have the right or the proper or the acceptable reply AND sound normal saying it. Even if its someone i know i get anxious talking on the phone. Texting is much much easier because i can read it, understand it, and take a few minutes to formulate my reply. There's no anxiety around it, nothing besides simple words and sentences to understand. There isn't that second dimension of voice that talking on the phone ads to it. I read somewhere recently that its common for aspies to be able to write/type out their thoughts a lot easier than it is for them to say it, and i think this applies for talking and texting as well.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

New Threads

Top Bottom