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sweet and sour

BeachLife

BeachLife

40's woman newly diagnosed
I have had to attend meetings lately where I'm being misunderstood/bullied. They don't know I'm autistic but must have sensed i was an easy target. I leave feeling really exposed as the more upset I get in there, the more I notice them watching my hand movements, which for the first time in my life I have acknowledged after recent diagnosis, is something that makes me noticeably different to NT'S. -Unfortunately I'm going into Repetitive thinking about these meetings, going over what they said, what I said, hoe ashamed I feel about how escalated I got. It's so hard to not think about it...too much.
A positive event at the moment, an important celebration and achievement is also happening now which is lovely and has brought my very few friends, together which was nice. I'm trying to turn my focus onto that. I just wish there wasn't that part of me that so wants these two Polar opposite current life situations to not be happening simultaneously!THe stressful stuff is robbing me the ability to really deeply appreciate this good, no great stuff that is happening in my life. Tips or inspirations welcome, I'm new here
 
Just posting to say I know what you are talking about and I haven’t found a solution yet. It is really the worst part of being an Aspie, for me, is worrying endlessly about every word I said, didn’t say but should have, what someone else said and what did they mean by what they said.....all day and night!
But, once I learned that not everyone does this and it isn’t considered normal, I have been able to relax more and not obsess as much as I used to.
 
No matter how well something goes, I can not drive home without worrying about all the wrong things I may have said or done. And let just one person give you a funny expression and you want to just kick yourself - just not always sure why.
And as far as the hand movements, my X used to tell me if I was ever handcuffed I wouldn't be able to talk. LOL
I visited my daughter and her family this week and was having a nice long talk with my son in law. All of a sudden I found myself worried about what he's thinking and started jumbling my words and getting tongue tied. (that's probably when he started doing any thinking).
 
OK, deep breath, I'm an NT and I do this stuff too. I not only rehash conversations that have occurred but can stay awake all night thinking or imagining a conversation I'd like to have with someone. And sometimes the same scenario goes round and round in my head almost obsessively until I finally fall asleep. The only way I can stop the conversations is to get up and journal my feelings or write a letter to the person (which rarely gets sent). So guys/gals , you're not alone in this.
 
LucyPurrs said:
OK, deep breath, I'm an NT and I do this stuff too. I not only rehash conversations that have occurred but can stay awake all night thinking or imagining a conversation I'd like to have with someone. And sometimes the same scenario goes round and round in my head almost obsessively until I finally fall asleep. The only way I can stop the conversations is to get up and journal my feelings or write a letter to the person (which rarely gets sent). So guys/gals , you're not alone in this.
Click to expand...
I have had to get back up and write it down before, too. lol
 
I hate it when I discover that I should have said X instead of Y and didn't because I don't think fast enough!!!
 
LucyPurrs said:
I hate it when I discover that I should have said X instead of Y and didn't because I don't think fast enough!!!
Click to expand...
Funny thing - when I was seeing a specialist for diagnosis it was over several visits. One of my visits I had gone back into the hiding who I was mode and started answering questions as I think an NT would answer. After a bit, I told him my answers that day hadn't been true. I'm so used to answering questions in a way that doesn't make me sound crazy and I had momentarily forgotten I had gone there for an accurate diagnosis and needed to be completely honest. So, no, I would not inform everyone if I saw a flame in the corner in a movie theater, I would be more likely to whisper it to the person I'm with and hope that they would. And, no I never listen to the radio because they play too many songs I don't like and have no idea why I answered yes to that.
 
BraidedPony said:
Just posting to say I know what you are talking about and I haven’t found a solution yet. It is really the worst part of being an Aspie, for me, is worrying endlessly about every word I said, didn’t say but should have, what someone else said and what did they mean by what they said.....all day and night!
But, once I learned that not everyone does this and it isn’t considered normal, I have been able to relax more and not obsess as much as I used to.
Click to expand...
Uh,ha. Well that has been helpful actually braided pony:) as it has reminded me that I can accept that ~this is just part of my asd~ which may help to at least reduce stress about it. thank you. I`m thinking too now, on a positive note, this is the same trait that allows me to suddenly remember really important details to add to letters of complaint, or other important reports etc ;)lol.
 
Pats said:
No matter how well something goes, I can not drive home without worrying about all the wrong things I may have said or done. And let just one person give you a funny expression and you want to just kick yourself - just not always sure why.
And as far as the hand movements, my X used to tell me if I was ever handcuffed I wouldn't be able to talk. LOL
I visited my daughter and her family this week and was having a nice long talk with my son in law. All of a sudden I found myself worried about what he's thinking and started jumbling my words and getting tongue tied. (that's probably when he started doing any thinking).
Click to expand...
Hi Pat, that's very funny about not being able to talk if handcuffed. Cheered me up :sunglasses:
 
LucyPurrs said:
OK, deep breath, I'm an NT and I do this stuff too. I not only rehash conversations that have occurred but can stay awake all night thinking or imagining a conversation I'd like to have with someone. And sometimes the same scenario goes round and round in my head almost obsessively until I finally fall asleep. The only way I can stop the conversations is to get up and journal my feelings or write a letter to the person (which rarely gets sent). So guys/gals , you're not alone in this.
Click to expand...
Thanks Lucy
 
If I can get a good night's sleep, I am usually over the rehashing or thinking of what to say in a convo.
Well, depending on how badly it effected me, sometimes two nights sleep!
 
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