Stuggle with Motivation?

[Robby]

Do you struggle with lack of motivation? A lot of times I just feel so overwhelmed or upset at my circumstances that I see no hope of things improving for me so I just don't try any more. How do you get help with finding a job when you don't know which ones match with your abilities? Who can help with this? I just want to find some type of job but it seems most I qualify for would be way outside my comfort zone like customer service, or high pressure or loud situations. I have gone on tons of interviews but none have panned out and Ive gotten some offers but at the last minute I bail before my start date because I didn't feel confident enough. How do I get help with this or overcome this?

 

[cargenx75]

I completely understand. I often feel the same way. I have gone for help with therapists, but they tell me to suck it up and do it. That just doesn't work. I get so easily overwhelmed with seemingly normal situations so I just shut down. I am beginning to think it is not so much lack of motivation as a shut down.

 

[Aspergirl4hire]

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Seriously.

Your stress muscle won't get any better by itself. You have to give it something to do.

You have to either find it in you to show up for something you accepted, or get a psychiatrist to prescribe something to calm you enough to go to work. Going to work is a bit like going to the store, except people want to get stuff from you. It's OK. Smile a lot, find a buddy--you're an aspie, so you don't need many! And you can always talk about it here.

 

[ASD_Geek]

Yes, there are times when I struggle with motivation as well. I think that that is normal. The most important thing is to start; to take a step in the direction of where you want to go. If you don't know what you'd like to do, that's normal, too.

Can you take an inventory of your strengths and interests? There are probably jobs along the lines of what you are interested in that do not deal with a lot of people.

I don't know if you are still in school, but I remember taking tests that help to gauge your interests by asking questions about various aspects of jobs (ie: Would you prefer to work indoors or outside?, etc.) and then showing you areas that you would do well in. I found one here... Career Test High School College Students Free Job Quiz Best Tests

Regarding gaining confidence, I'll tell you something that I was once told and something that I tell my children and that is that most people want to see you succeed, especially your employer and family. When you go on an interview and get the job offer, that employer is saying to you that they like what they see and that they are confident in your abilities.

While things won't always pan out, you'll be surprised if you just show up. I've taken job offers while being scared to death that I won't measure up and will somehow be found out to be a fraud. I can tell you that in 9 out of 10 jobs, after I got to know the position and had gotten over the learning curve, I look back and think, "Wow. I was worried for nothing."

I've also bee on job interviews praying that they would end and even apologizing to the the team afterwards because I was so under qualified at the time.

Some will go well and some will... well, not, but you sound like a really smart guy. You have strengths! You can do this! Your aspie traits are a great benefit to any business. They need someone like you!

Best of luck!

 

[zurb]

Are you sure it is lack of motivation, and not lack of executive function?
As I've said elsewhere today, if its the latter, then blaming it on lack of motivation can cause unwarranted feelings of guilt.

 

[Randomperson]

Well as to the last minute bailing on jobs before starting them, cold and starvation are excellent motivators.

 

[Datura]

I'm not sure if such services are available where you live, but I once attended a job search program. They did a thorough examination of our aptitudes and interests, and provided extensive instruction on various facets of the job search process, from resume writing, to interview skills and finding hidden job markets. The program was structured a lot like a regular day job, or school program, which made it easier to focus on the task at hand without all of the distractions of home life. The job I got in the end wasn't great, but it beat being unemployed and opened the door to better opportunities later on.

If you are looking for something less intense you might want to join a Job Club. This allows job hunters to share relevant information, and again provides a more structured environment where everyone is working toward the goal of employment.

 

[Greg]

I find for myself that I can suffer from non-motivation at times. For me it seems to go hand in hand when I am in a down and depressed period. When it seems that my mood swings up I want to get things done. On my job there are days that I just don't want to go in and have to do it but like in the previous post the cold and starvation kind of offset the desire not to work.

 

[Robby]

Well of course I eventually want to be independent and work and be on my own, but it's much easier said than done. Part of my issue is I haven't yet been in continued therapy that has done me any benefit in terms of teaching me coping skills and life skills. I'm seeing a new therapist this week I hope she can help me learn some tools to use with this so the next interviews I go on, I will follow through when I get offers. A big part of it too is getting to where I feel confident enough to follow through and actually start a job once I get offers. And another thing is I have to learn which jobs to avoid from the get-go ones that wouldn't be a good fit for me in terms of too many triggers or stimuli, so I have to learn which areas I'm good at and interested in like for example I won't even waste my time any more applying for jobs where there is a lot of personal contact because until I feel comfortable in a situation feeling pressure is a huge problem for me. I still need a lot of help in terms of figuring out how to not second guess myself and how I can actually find a job I can stay at.

 

[Spiller]

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Seriously.

Your stress muscle won't get any better by itself. You have to give it something to do.

Definitely this! A little exposure therapy goes a long way
I also suffer from a lack of motivation due to years of depression and have to force myself to move at all sometimes. But I have found that helping others is much easier than helping myself (I think all that depression has damaged my self-worth there).. just do one thing for one person, once a day.. after you've scared yourself ..
Or combine the two, feel scared and helpful at the same time!
..Sounds like I'm joking, but it really makes me feel like I've done something good

 

[JDartistic]

I sometimes fall prey to that but then I get bored doing nothing.

Here's a trick I play on myself when I'm being really lazy. I decide on something I want to do, & then I turn that into a Ritual. Since Aspies love rituals, I get motivated by the ritual!

Example: I decided I wanted to write a book. For months, I sat around thinking about it. Then I got bored & depressed thinking I was a loser for not doing it. But then I added it to my daily routines. Just 15 minutes a day I forced myself to write something. The ritual slowly built up & now it's an engrained habit. The ritual practice gave me the motivation I lacked.

Try that. Develop rituals around your goals.

 

[danielcollins]

I can't put in to words how much this resonates with me - this is something I've been battling with for years.

I can say it becomes both harder and easier as you get older, easier because you tend to relax some more and become less anxcious and more patient. More difficult because I notice old habbits are becoming much much harder to kick, and I think habits dictate a lot of motivation.

All I can say is that if you have anxiety problems, speak to your doctor they may be able to help.. I got some blood pressure medication which stops the physical symptoms of anxiety they're the best thing ever. As hard as it is, you have to pick yourself up and go "You're going to do this because you want to" and once you start doing something it becomes much easier.

I'm struggling to motivate myself to do stuff I enjoy at the moment, I used to like playing the Xbox and I'm trying to pick it back up again so I have a hobby - I'm using the above approach to get myself into it again. Things are that bad that I'm having to take action to get myself to do things that I enjoy.

Glass half full - try and think positive, focus on one thing at a time and do that one thing to the best of your ability, it then doesn't become quite so daunting. And, if you have some bad job interviews (we all have done) you know that the company isn't right for you - it's not all about you being right for the company.

I remember working in retail (I.E. sitting on a checkout in ASDA) and I hated it. Detested being customer facing for 7 hours of the day - I won't do that again!

In speaking about depression, I always found it odd that for years I never considered myself "depressed" even though I was going through a period of severe mental anguish - yet now, I am out of the other side I feel like I am somewhat depressed. Strange, my mind works in weird ways.

Hope you're feeling better soon.

 

[Bernd]

I sometimes fall prey to that but then I get bored doing nothing.

Here's a trick I play on myself when I'm being really lazy. I decide on something I want to do, & then I turn that into a Ritual. Since Aspies love rituals, I get motivated by the ritual!

Example: I decided I wanted to write a book. For months, I sat around thinking about it. Then I got bored & depressed thinking I was a loser for not doing it. But then I added it to my daily routines. Just 15 minutes a day I forced myself to write something. The ritual slowly built up & now it's an engrained habit. The ritual practice gave me the motivation I lacked.

Try that. Develop rituals around your goals.

THINK THIS IS TRUE