Struggling with eating enough during work

[Ronald Zeeman]

This is not that abnormal, did not eat at work or even while in college, ate when I got home Even now only eat one meal a day.

 

[AuroraBorealis]

It is easy to solve, though… Did you read my suggestions? I wasn’t trying to be a smartass. If not eating breakfast doesn’t work for you, eat breakfast. If you get hungry before noon, eat before noon. If you forget to eat, create a reminder on your phone. If you’re “too tired” or “unmotivated” to do whatever, nothing anyone can say is going to make you not-tired or not-motivated. What exactly do you expect anyone to say here that’s going to spur you into action? It’s up to you.

Yes, I did read your suggestions, but they were too vague and general to be helpful to my situation. I opened this thread in the hopes of people with similar struggles (not noticing that they're hungry while very focused on something, being very drained after work, struggling with forgetfulness, disorganization and being chaotic) to share their hacks and strategies to deal with this and still eat enough and healthily. Which I feel like I received - many people shared their experience and gave advice, which did help me.

Maybe my post seemed a bit whiny, but it wasn't meant that way.

Admittedly, I also wanted to complain a bit about the stress of everyday life and hoped to read from people with similar issues to feel less alone, which also worked. I realize that that's not something everyone does or likes.

 

[Kalinychta]

Yes, I did read your suggestions, but they were too vague and general to be helpful to my situation. I opened this thread in the hopes of people with similar struggles (not noticing that they're hungry while very focused on something, being very drained after work, struggling with forgetfulness, disorganization and being chaotic) to share their hacks and strategies to deal with this and still eat enough and healthily. Which I feel like I received - many people shared their experience and gave advice, which did help me.

Maybe my post seemed a bit whiny, but it wasn't meant that way.

Admittedly, I also wanted to complain a bit about the stress of everyday life and hoped to read from people with similar issues to feel less alone, which also worked. I realize that that's not something everyone does or likes.

How is it vague and general to suggest that you eat breakfast, eat before noon, and create reminders on your phone, though? These aren’t vague or general suggestions at all. They’re very specific and direct answers to the issues you raised. They’re simple, logical solutions.

If you just wanted to whine and complain about how difficult it all is, though, I totally get that. I do this all the time, too.

 

[blitzkrieg]

How is it vague and general to suggest that you eat breakfast, eat before noon, and create reminders on your phone, though? These aren’t vague or general suggestions at all. They’re very specific and direct answers to the issues you raised. They’re simple, logical solutions.

If you just wanted to whine and complain about how difficult it all is, though, I totally get that. I do this all the time, too.

Executive function issues can mean that a person can have difficulty executing tasks that they know how to do, logically. It isn't whining to complain about something that can be quite disabling for some people.

 

[Mary Terry]

@AuroraBorealis - My go-to no brainer dinner is to bake a large potato in the oven. Wash and scrub it, rub vegetable oil all over it, liberally put salt all over it, stab holes in it so it won't explode, put in a 400-degree F (200 degrees Celsius) oven for an hour. After it's cooked, I can load it with lots of things - cheese, onions, ham, bacon, sour cream, leftover vegetables from the fridge, etc. Probably not the best, most nutritious choice but it's fairly easy to do when I'm tired.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

My brother eats a can of vegetable soup as his only meal. Do not think it's healthy. His son told me he, went to doctor once had scurvy. So yes it could be dangerous.

 

[AuroraBorealis]

How is it vague and general to suggest that you eat breakfast, eat before noon, and create reminders on your phone, though? These aren’t vague or general suggestions at all. They’re very specific and direct answers to the issues you raised. They’re simple, logical solutions.

If you just wanted to whine and complain about how difficult it all is, though, I totally get that. I do this all the time, too.

I understand how it might seem illogical. I struggle a lot with executive dysfunction, which in my case can mean that I know how things work and I still don't manage to do it, without it being because of a lack of trying. It then can help me to read other people's concrete hacks and strategies, because they give me something small and concrete to do and try.

 

[GoThePlay]

I am going at an evening school and we have lesson when it's typically time to eat. My approach is to eat between the end of a lesson and the start of another, and I bring string beans.
When I come back home it's night and I make something pre-cooked, like vegetables and proteins toghether with a slice of bread, that makes me fullfilled and satisfied.

 

[Kalinychta]

Executive function issues can mean that a person can have difficulty executing tasks that they know how to do, logically. It isn't whining to complain about something that can be quite disabling for some people.

That’s true. I actually never said she was whining, though. She did (she said her post may have seemed a bit whiny). Everyone whines sometimes. It doesn’t change the fact that the only remedy to not doing a thing is doing it. There’s nothing anyone can say that’s going to make it easier. You either change or you don’t.

 

[Tiffany Kate]

...And if you are not doing something that you want to do, then the thing to do is think about it and unpack exactly why you are not doing it.

If "just do it, then" worked, you'd presumably have already "just done it".

For instance, after that one time I completely forgot to go to the dentist even after setting a reminder on my phone, I now set an alarm for anything really important. A reminder gives you a discreet beep and that's it - very ignorable. An alarm won't shut up until you turn it off and is much harder to ignore.

I add even small tasks to my to-do list ("take medication", "check bank account", "pack lunch for tomorrow") because if I don't, I'll forget to do them - even though these are things I do every day.

I also add small once-only tasks that I should just do but know I won't, because having them sitting on my to-do list gathering dust is more annoying than not doing them. And if they're not right there on my list I'll forget about them until I think, "Oh yeah, I should really do that thing..." and then I forget about it again.

The name of the game is to figure out why it is you don't do stuff (and there is always a reason, even if you initially think you're "just not doing it") and adjust your strategy to fit.

For me, there are two parts to not "just doing it"

Part 1 is hacks to overcome organisational/attentional problems that are stopping you getting stuff done.

- If the forgetting is the problem, then set an alarm (or put it on your to-do list). If necessary, then set another alarm 10 minutes after the first, for when you shut off the first alarm because it was annoying, but then didn't do the thing.
- If the preparation is the problem, then try to plan ahead (and put that on your to-do list/alarm list). Lunches can be made in advance, or pick something easy.
- If there is a certain amount of meh involved, make sure that you actually like the meal you've chosen/prepared. Or at least that you get a treat at the end.

Remember that the more things you demand of yourself (remembering, organising, etc), the less chance you have of doing them all. So lower the bar - make use of all the aids you can, to make things easier. In this situation, a half-assed job is better than nothing, as long as the half-assed job does actually kind of work.

Part 2 is lack of motivation/accountability/get-up-and-go. There is no real "hack" for this, as far as I know. The only thing to do is to have a serious talk with yourself about why you want to do the thing, and how you need to do the thing. And internalise that you really do want to do the thing.

Minds are complicated things, and sometimes your unconscious mind doesn't agree with your conscious mind. Unfortunately, the unconscious mind pretty much always wins. The thing to do, therefore, is to bring your conscious and unconscious minds into agreement by persuading your unconscious mind that you do want to do the thing. This involves figuring out what your unconscious mind is thinking about, and why.

Not always easy!

This part is important for when you've done all the hacks in part 2, but it's still not working. That's a major clue that something in your unconscious mind is blocking you.

If you've previously had an eating disorder, it's worth having a dig around in your unconscious mind to see if some elements of that are still left over and are causing trouble.

And don't get all wound up into blaming yourself for not doing something "easy". That's pointless and won't get you anywhere; if it were easy, you'd already have done it. Define the problem as correctly as you can (which will help you find a solution), and implement the solution. If that doesn't work, go back to the beginning, adjust your hacks, have another talk with your unconscious mind, rinse and repeat.

 

[AuAL]

I eat a (small) breakfast. (Got to have that Greek coffee!) I eat dinner with my family. I do not eat lunch. Executive function - this is my regimen. Like @Tiffany Kate, I have reminders on my phone for meds and to hydrate (I don’t feel “thirsty”, I just get so dehydrated my hearing goes funny, too late.) Simplify, repeat.

 

[AuroraBorealis]

That’s true. I actually never said she was whining, though. She did (she said her post may have seemed a bit whiny). Everyone whines sometimes. It doesn’t change the fact that the only remedy to not doing a thing is doing it. There’s nothing anyone can say that’s going to make it easier. You either change or you don’t.

Your posts did actually help me too. I managed to make a schedule for this past week, set reminders, cooked a huge amount of one dish on Sunday, and ate that on 3 weekdays for lunch. I guess one of the hacks for me might be to cook a large amount of something and pre-pack it into boxes on Sunday, so I don't have to think about it again for several days. I noticed that because on the remaining 2 days, without anything planned I fell back into my old ways. Also, when I have something that needs heating up, I seem to be more motivated to eat it during a set lunch break than if I take a sandwich I could eat at any given moment (and end up not eating at all).
So thanks for pushing me a bit out of my mind spiral!

 

[Kalinychta]

Your posts did actually help me too. I managed to make a schedule for this past week, set reminders, cooked a huge amount of one dish on Sunday, and ate that on 3 weekdays for lunch. I guess one of the hacks for me might be to cook a large amount of something and pre-pack it into boxes on Sunday, so I don't have to think about it again for several days. I noticed that because on the remaining 2 days, without anything planned I fell back into my old ways. Also, when I have something that needs heating up, I seem to be more motivated to eat it during a set lunch break than if I take a sandwich I could eat at any given moment (and end up not eating at all).
So thanks for pushing me a bit out of my mind spiral!

Oh good, okay. I actually started to feel a bit bad about my post. I just know that, for me, the difficult thing, whatever the thing is that I’m putting off, I know I’m never going to want to do it. It’s never going to be easy. I’m never going to suddenly feel inspired and ready;—I have to force myself to do it, and that initial moment of action is so difficult and feels weird, but once I’ve done the thing a few times, soon afterwards I can’t even remember why it was so difficult to begin with. But Tiffany’s post was much more helpful than mine, so I hope you got a lot out of it, too.

 

[AuroraBorealis]

Oh good, okay. I actually started to feel a bit bad about my post. I just know that, for me, the difficult thing, whatever the thing is that I’m putting off, I know I’m never going to want to do it. It’s never going to be easy. I’m never going to suddenly feel inspired and ready;—I have to force myself to do it, and that initial moment of action is so difficult and feels weird, but once I’ve done the thing a few times, soon afterwards I can’t even remember why it was so difficult to begin with. But Tiffany’s post was much more helpful than mine, so I hope you got a lot out of it, too.

Don't worry about it, it's all good. I know what you mean - sometimes, that's the same for me too, just needing to give myself a push and just DO the thing I'm putting off.
But, due to executive dysfunction, there are many times where that doesn't work for me, and where I keep telling myself the things you told me over and over again, but they just don't work, they just make me feel like crap but are not helping. In those situations, I genuinely need concrete advice and hope that some of it might work for me. The ideas others give me then are often not rocket science and I could come up with them if it was about someone else than me. But sometimes in those situations, my brain just freezes.

I think it's good to get all different sorts of input in those brain-freeze moments, because it also helps to break through that inertia.