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Starting to think I might be on the spectrum...

Unsure

Member
Hi all. This is my first time posting here, so please forgive me if I'm unfamiliar with things. I'm starting to think that I'm on the spectrum (although I'm not sure where I fall) due to things I've been reading and what others have said to me. Currently, I'm diagnosed with bipolar disorder NOS (for those who are familiar with this, my hypomania cycles have never been long enough to meet DSM criteria for a bipolar II diagnosis) and anxiety disorder NOS, and I'm being treated for those. As a child, my parents were alerted that I may be on the spectrum due to the fact that I was constantly flapping my hands, which I only recently found out was indicative of autism-spectrum conditions. Whenever I would get excited (this still occurs, to a lesser extent), I would involuntarily (and often unconsciously) flap my hands together. People always questioned me about it, and I never thought much of it. I simply explained that it was just something I did involuntarily when I got excited, and few people ever gave me a hard time about it (which I am thankful for). Socially, I have always been awkward. I hate being in large groups, and I often resort to drug use (alcohol and Adderall mostly) when I want to be more social. I've always excelled in school; I was in the top 5 of my high school. However, I've always had particular attention issues, such as reading books and paying attention to a speaker for a long time. As a kid in school, I frequently dazed off and made up games in my head consisting of fantasy scenarios to entertain myself (this often caused the hand flapping). I had several obsessions as a kid, including an online video game and a TV show that I knew EVERYTHING about and frequently incorporated into my "imaginary games". I'm not looking for a diagnosis; I know that an online forum is not the appropriate...forum (for lack of a better word) for that. I'm really just looking to see if anyone has similar experiences that can help me understand myself better. I know that ultimately, it would just be a label, but it would help me in understanding myself and making sense of some of my idiosyncrasies. Thank you to whomever responds.

As an addendum, I'd also like to note that, while not formally diagnosed, I'm being treated for ADHD with Strattera (a non-stimulant). My doctor prescribed Strattera rather than traditional psychostimulants due to the abuse issues I mentioned above.
 
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I can relate to a lot of your story, from the bipolar, addiction, ADD and many other diagnosis. And I also relate to the creations of games and scenarios I would make up in my head as a kid, I remember creating these scenarios many times in school, and family events. I always find it interesting in reflection that I was always somewhere else wherever I was. If that makes sense. When I was diagnosed bipolar it didn't make sense to me, I would be manic for months even years and then depressed for just as long. Sometimes shorter intervals, but those would be milder manic and depressive episodes. But something about bipolar didn't sit right with me so I researched and began to understand it in my own experience. To put it simply, I grew up with parents who had very opposite ways of dealing with things. My dad would go crazy when he had to deal with life, and my mom would get depressed and fall apart. This was my roadmap, they my mind learned how to deal with life's challenges. My bipolar is two different ways my mind learned how to deal with life, go crazy or hide away.
I also self medicated with alcohol and drugs for many years. It helped me escape and feel normal which helped me to inject myself into social situations. I can relate to many of the things you have experienced and aspergers has such a variety of symptoms and it seems certain particulars of having aspergers vary from person to person. I choose to look at what we have in common and not what's different. I notice lot of aspies who are undiagnosed go through life receiving quite a few different diagnosis such as bipolar, ADD, SAD, and quite a few with addictions as well.
Whatever it is, if you wanna figure out who you are or why you are the way you are, you'll find the answer. This site is full of so many of us who experienced what you are experiencing. So no matter what, you have found a great place to communicate.
 
Only a few weeks ago, I was in that "am I really an Aspie" phase too.

I read a book called "The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome" by Tony Attwood. It opened my eyes and I've found myself in 90% of what was written.

I have ADHD and troubles with reading, but I read those 180 pages very quickly. Don't worry about the length.


In the meanwhile, I suggest you do an online quiz. Here's the link:
Aspie-quiz

Post your results!


Note: stereotypical symptoms NEVER match 100%, I think NOBODY has all the symptoms. I, for example, have a pretty good (still abnormal) perception.
 
Welcome to AC. Feel free to hang around and ask questions. You may like to also check out the resources section of the site.
I also recommend reading Tony Attwood's Complete Guide to Aspergers. It's a great book that helped me in my understanding.
 
Tony Attwood's book was eye-opening for me, too. I have also found a lot of my own experiences described in a book by Maxine Aston called "What Men with Aspergers Syndrome Want to Know About Women, Dating and Relationships."
 
Only a few weeks ago, I was in that "am I really an Aspie" phase too.

I read a book called "The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome" by Tony Attwood. It opened my eyes and I've found myself in 90% of what was written.

I have ADHD and troubles with reading, but I read those 180 pages very quickly. Don't worry about the length.


In the meanwhile, I suggest you do an online quiz. Here's the link:
Aspie-quiz

Post your results!


Note: stereotypical symptoms NEVER match 100%, I think NOBODY has all the symptoms. I, for example, have a pretty good (still abnormal) perception.

Thank you for the quiz link. I took it, and I got almost completely evenly neurotypical and neurodiverse, which I find interesting.
 
Thank you for the quiz link. I took it, and I got almost completely evenly neurotypical and neurodiverse, which I find interesting.

Could you post your diagram?
I'm really interested in this. Although 1 picture doesn't show everything, it does show a lot. :)
 
Could you post your diagram?
I'm really interested in this. Although 1 picture doesn't show everything, it does show a lot. :)
Let me know what you make of it.
 

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