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solution solved

Kayla55

Well-Known Member
I'm so tired, I work just as hard as if he wasn't here and it was the best thing i ever did, leaving.

I regret having children, and I wasn't young Mom and sad experience of wasting my time with shallow men or expecting to ever have someone think of my happiness. It's as if I'm left alone (being alone is best) to do all the work, tired of being people pleaser!!

My blue hair streaks were just causing sensations and waves so I toned down as now that they all at school and I rather just be invisible there and say hi/bye.

I think experience of women is right, I should just have become lesbian ND avoided this life, but carry on and try find small break for myself and too do something meaningful. I'm going to do it, meet a women like Halle Barry, and she can be my catgirl to inspire me away from loneliness ND be there to celebrate and get me a glass wine when I discover happiness again.
 
Questions Bout that blue hair,
It was my midlife crisis, but now I know it's about happiness not a fancy way of drowning the dumb blonde with radical approach this time.
 
Venting. Need advice

Countless times I pushed myself to the limit, had my boundaries pushed, had expectations raised ND me
Forcing g myself to succeed at work
Forcing myself to be responsinle, to ensure always food on table and etc.

If I didn't have kids I think I buy a bike, and test the limit, go out on highway and see how fast I can go ...maybe not come back.
Does anyone else feel the same way? Maybe my catgirl can talk me into not buying that bike
 
IMG_20230306_224439_220.jpg

Solution to the end, end of the solution.
You were just a experiment gone wrong,
 
I think sometimes the loneliest we can ever be is with other people. Not all people make me feel like this, but most do. Just like I never get bored alone, but can with many people. So perhaps there is nothing wrong with our view, our way of being, our feelings. We just expect to feel at home among those who make us feel alone. And moving away from them, in spirit, may give us a home again.
 
^ Agreed. I was saying just the other day to a friend that the lonliest I've ever been has been with other people.

Kayla, I hope you find some solid ground to begin building up again.
 
I wish your situation were different as not all guys are bad, just as not all women are either. Yes, we can have had traumatic experiences in life and conditions that will have changed our lives forever, and we can have expended energy that seems useless at times, or with little results in return. Sometimes it feels as if I am against the world, and that I am not meant to be even moderately happy, as there is no time for that or way that can happen right now..

But then, something clicks in me and saying things could be worse. I can find at least some happiness in small things. I can find some pleasure in giving more than receiving,not to be confused with being taken advantage of. I can find love for children and family even if that means more work for me, as what is work anyway? Who says we cannot either define that differently, or find work or people that make us feel better, if not see the comfort or pleasure in solitude and with some other support system or friends too.

But yeah, at times I wished things were different too. Some of my dreams will either never come true or they will be suspended for a long while. Whether I have been lifelong depressed or not can be debated, as I do not show or feel much extreme happiness. Heck, I would not even jump up and down in joy or smile if won the lottery. Who am I thus? What do I live for? I guess, in my case, my dreams of things I don't have and need give me hope of more good to come later. Right now, I push those back some, as it is hard to go there and never come back. That will be for another day.
 
My fields were worn and weary but the harvesters would give no love. It's as if my existence is denied, yet so often when I leave they begin to harvest from my suffering. To paint a pretty picture over my disease and forget to give me an invite!
I woke up to realise apart of me died, long ago. Then my dreams, they died too but it wasn't enough....

As always I have to go searching for more healing....
I feel like a Tibetan who was invaded by a commercial China, invalidated

So I found this app....(outside of tik-tok) and I think I'm going to use this to alleviate suffering of poor wives who were ordered in mail, as if lost property.
 
Maybe it takes payments under 100 cause I'm so absent minded lately (which is so not me)
Then I found a reason to finally explain why I still use cash, so when I go back to get this thing I forgot I have swipe 2x
 

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My fields were worn and weary but the harvesters would give no love. It's as if my existence is denied, yet so often when I leave they begin to harvest from my suffering. To paint a pretty picture over my disease and forget to give me an invite!
I woke up to realise apart of me died, long ago. Then my dreams, they died too but it wasn't enough....

As always I have to go searching for more healing....
I feel like a Tibetan who was invaded by a commercial China, invalidated

Beautiful metaphor. Perhaps these will give some consolation:

Light the lamp and fire mellow
Cabin essence timely hello
Welcomes the time for a change

Lost and found, you still remain there
You'll find a meadow filled with grain there
I'll give you a home on the range

I want to watch you windblown facing
Waves of wheat for your embracing
Folks sing a song of the grange

Nestle in a kiss below there
The constellations ebb and flow there
And witness our home on the range

Over and over
The crow cries uncover the cornfield


("Cabin Essence," The Beach Boys)

And this sadder one:

They were the best times,
the harvest years with jam to lace the bread
So goodness, goodness knows why I'd throw it to the birds

It's perfect as it stands, so why then crush it in your perfect hands?
So tell me, you must have thought it all out in advance
Or goodness, goodness knows why you'd throw it to the birds
You mock the good things, you play the heart strings,
Play them one by one.


("Desire As," Prefab Sprout)

I edited parts out to just the lyrics that fit.
 
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I don’t understand what would be the difference between bad Man or Woman , or whatever one identifies as. Hurt and pain is available from everybody .

I don’t think a relationship going bad is due to ones gender
Not understanding each other and fighting and failures will happen no matter what .

There are very extensive studies that ND people do communicate much easier with each other and are able to do tasks and accomplish activities efficiently at a very fast pace due to unique communication .

Are there any ND couples on this forum who can elaborate on this ?
 
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I wish your situation were different as not all guys are bad, just as not all women are either. Yes, we can have had traumatic experiences in life and conditions that will have changed our lives forever, and we can have expended energy that seems useless at times, or with little results in return. Sometimes it feels as if I am against the world, and that I am not meant to be even moderately happy, as there is no time for that or way that can happen right now..

But then, something clicks in me and saying things could be worse. I can find at least some happiness in small things. I can find some pleasure in giving more than receiving,not to be confused with being taken advantage of. I can find love for children and family even if that means more work for me, as what is work anyway? Who says we cannot either define that differently, or find work or people that make us feel better, if not see the comfort or pleasure in solitude and with some other support system or friends too.

But yeah, at times I wished things were different too. Some of my dreams will either never come true or they will be suspended for a long while. Whether I have been lifelong depressed or not can be debated, as I do not show or feel much extreme happiness. Heck, I would not even jump up and down in joy or smile if won the lottery. Who am I thus? What do I live for? I guess, in my case, my dreams of things I don't have and need give me hope of more good to come later. Right now, I push those back some, as it is hard to go there and never come back. That will be for another day.
I just love the expansion locust theory on growing economies via max population?

When hat would work best is subjecting people to work for their views to explain if it really works. Awesome so little dude, my boy .... Daddy knows best and you can go live there and finish your ABA therapy. Then you can also move to Berlin and enhance that and deny me my suffeting....
We can expect you to mask for expansion of Berlin, we will outperform your original ideas and explain you are a doe-dor bird.
 
I just love the expansion locust theory on growing economies via max population?

When hat would work best is subjecting people to work for their views to explain if it really works. Awesome so little dude, my boy .... Daddy knows best and you can go live there and finish your ABA therapy. Then you can also move to Berlin and enhance that and deny me my suffeting....
We can expect you to mask for expansion of Berlin, we will outperform your original ideas and explain you are a doe-dor bird.
Who is you and your referring to?
 
Previous thread, (dating: how can I get a girlfriend) I hated it when turn off comments, el finished

I'm speaking hypethetically, (but maybe aspie women bearing too much reproductive load)my son doesn't resemble his father unless I've got a foe-doe egg in my nest.

Someone once told me, he said it's not a women's job to stress herself. It's a man's job to provide for his children. Maybe that's it, I just had a hard time learning the truth about treat men this way, then they respect you, cause he sorts out his business.

I'm going to switch off and go try not be stressed out by constant total ungratefulness towards women and all the nothing they do all day!!

Come back when lady-like has stopped feeling as if now rest of my life is a waste of time, too. And I feel calm
 
Now the post isn't Quora and needing deleting....

Cause prime example!

I'm leaving this forum, not finding it useful anymore
 

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You regret having children? How old are you? How old are the children?

I've been through unimaginable trauma, absolute poverty, nearly died. Unwarranted child welfare case. You can't imagine the junk. But it was all with my baby girl. I fought it all for her.

I would never ever ever go back. I am so freaking proud of her.

She is my everything.

Get therapy for depression. Because any mother would do anything for her childrens' health and happiness.

Sick freakish horrid picture. What is your problem? They're your babies.

Call child welfare right now, and relinquish custody. Call the grandparents. Someone. Because your children are precious jewels, bright candles, and you are not worthy of the word mother.
Says she who never got twins, or had more than 1 child to contribute to real world issues.
At least I respected life to never have an abortion, I supported the children and often family....
Kayla, he would ask ....how do you do this in java, what do I do now?

I kept my son's believing they were better than their father, I just hope doe-doe bird never shows colours too late,.....
 
Borrow him to you so you can go review that post....men having manhood broken by women demanding rights. Poor things can't survive feminism as though it was anything like what they did to us.

Talk about mail order brides from Asia....
Not being into romance!!!

Borrow my NT son for a week, you can do world for him.....ask him just pls can you wash dishes and oh boy do I get a mouthful.
I go out shopping, buy extra nice food that the tik addict father, couldn't.
The house a mess, the walls dirty til can't wash it clean....have to paint over and more money.
I bother to fetch boys from school but no matter how many times I politely ask to be at gate at reasonable time, no can do! Then I say politely, it's not guilt trip....it's price of petrol on rise and I'm telling you this so you grow up learning reasoning behind why I say so.
 
I just noticed the first thing you wrote here was "I'm so tired". Maybe everyone should take a small break so this thread doesn't turn into a huge fight. I wanted to reply to some of the things you said because it was upsetting, but it's probably best to leave it be for now.
 
I just noticed the first thing you wrote here was "I'm so tired". Maybe everyone should take a small break so this thread doesn't turn into a huge fight. I wanted to reply to some of the things you said because it was upsetting, but it's probably best to leave it be for now.
I've been tired a lot in life, and all of it relates to my autism.
 

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