A lot of the times during group socializing (group of 3 or more) I will focus on the person I know the best in order to best in order to get a sense of the mood of the conversation, or how I should react/respond to social cues based on said person's reactions/responses. It gives me non-verbal information I can't pick up on my own. And it works, because when I don't know anyone in the social group, I don't feel as comfortable, and my interactions will look/feel more forced or inaccurate. It's almost like having a pair of social eye glasses. Can anyone relate?
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Social Eye Glasses
- Thread starter Pondering
- Start date
I do this at the Board meetings... The President of the Board is who I directly work for, and I have known him a long time. One huge plus I have in life is... He has a kid with ASD and pretty severe ADHD... So he relates deeply to what I need without a word ever said. I can't really read "body language" very well but I can read his like a book.
I do think its because he knows what I need in a social situation and he knows how bad I crater if things get dicey. He also does a lot of speaking for me, but respectfully asks every time... "Chance do you agree? Or is this right?" So, it makes me not have to do tons of discussion that I would otherwise have to do...
In other situations (IF there is no one there I know)... I get messed up pretty easy because I see these people doing small talk, and knowing how to say the right things at the right times. Yet all I see is the lack of logic in all of it, and that for the most part it's all a big BS session. Sometimes it's just people telling people what other people want to hear...
I will be glad to tell someone what they want to hear IF its factual and correct. On here I will give tons more details than I do in real life. I can write out how I feel easier then say how I feel...
For instance: Today I was at the bank (finishing what I couldn't deal with Friday when I had to rush back to work). An older lady who knows me really well came out of her office and hugged me in the main looby... AWKWARD!!!! She saw the news feed, and had heard about the situation we all went through with the wild fire and she was nearly in tears... and I'm standing there sort of blank and not knowing what to do, or say, grasping for any form of logic to say something reasonable and basically I just smiled, acted appreciative, and got in line to give the teller the bank bag.
So I guess if "social glasses" is some lense I use when it's there... I use it for all its worth, and otherwise I am basically blind in the juicy details of social interaction.
I do think its because he knows what I need in a social situation and he knows how bad I crater if things get dicey. He also does a lot of speaking for me, but respectfully asks every time... "Chance do you agree? Or is this right?" So, it makes me not have to do tons of discussion that I would otherwise have to do...
In other situations (IF there is no one there I know)... I get messed up pretty easy because I see these people doing small talk, and knowing how to say the right things at the right times. Yet all I see is the lack of logic in all of it, and that for the most part it's all a big BS session. Sometimes it's just people telling people what other people want to hear...
I will be glad to tell someone what they want to hear IF its factual and correct. On here I will give tons more details than I do in real life. I can write out how I feel easier then say how I feel...
For instance: Today I was at the bank (finishing what I couldn't deal with Friday when I had to rush back to work). An older lady who knows me really well came out of her office and hugged me in the main looby... AWKWARD!!!! She saw the news feed, and had heard about the situation we all went through with the wild fire and she was nearly in tears... and I'm standing there sort of blank and not knowing what to do, or say, grasping for any form of logic to say something reasonable and basically I just smiled, acted appreciative, and got in line to give the teller the bank bag.
So I guess if "social glasses" is some lense I use when it's there... I use it for all its worth, and otherwise I am basically blind in the juicy details of social interaction.
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