So, I've recently read this and I have to ask?

[Mia]

Do you believe that people with Asperger's actually grow out of their Aspie behavior and that their Asperger's disappears as they grow older?

As if it were some sort of childish behavior that somehow goes away? That they become socialized and then poof they become 'normal' like others?

Note: (I have to admit that I'm posting this because I'm angry about the ignorance of such a statement, as if people with Asperger's Syndrome Disorder are somehow pretending and they will stop once they reach adulthood)

 

[On the Inside]

No, we might learn to cope, to work around, to find friendly and supportive environments, maybe even, with a lot of work, conquer some troublesome traits, but the Asperger's is there. In my experience, the "behaviors" can actually get worse if any of those things are taken away. Then it's time to find new coping strategies, work arounds, and/or environments.

I know there was a time in early adulthood when I felt like I was pretty much normal, but things changed, as they will, and then I didn't feel so normal anymore.

 

[Kari Suttle]

I think with time, someone with aspergers will learn new, different, better ways to cope and handle the challenges and problems that having aspergers presents, yes. This perhaps looks on the outside as it dissapearing? But no i do not think that people with aspergers sometimes grow out of it.

 

[RidingDutchman]

Personal view on this is that over time you will learn the " foreign language" of NT's, if I may put it like that.

What this means for me though is that the more I know about social behavior, the more I realize how much I'm acting and showing wanted behavior and getting in a knot with myself if I want to keep up this act and seem rather normal to others, or be myself and risk becoming an outcast. This adds a lot of stress and makes the "symptoms" worse. So in some cases having more knowledge about what is the right way to be sociable, might actually work counter productive. If I'm still making sense here

 

[nyxjord]

Nope we just learn ways to fake being normal and scripts for social situations.

 

[Progster]

No, one doesn't just grow out of Asperger's. Asperger's is a lifelong condition. People with Aspergers slowly learn to adapt to the world around them; they learn social skills and become adept at socialising, they learn to manage anxiety and meltdowns, and suppress other Aspie traits, such as obvious stimming. They may appear to be 'normal' to the outside world, but underneath the person with AS is still feeling the anxiety, still feels that he or she doesn't belong, is still putting on a performance for others and fighting the urge to withdraw and return to the natural state. They just become very good at hiding and covering up this internal struggle. One can change one's behaviours so that they mirror the behaviours of those aroung them and appear to fit in, but the brain wiring can not be altered. That person is still an aspie.

 

[Spiller]

My symptoms have become more noticeable to others and some reactions are that I'm getting more childish and difficult.
When I self-diagnosed and realised I didn't have to hide my difference any more some thought it was hilarious, some were exasperated, some didn't understand and treated me as if I were insane.

While my diagnosis has finally allowed me to start working on my issues, some have seen it as an excuse to try to take over my life - even though I'm quite happily independent..
My ex has seen it as an excuse to try to restrict my time with my kids, citing the reason that I'm an unfit parent - in truth I have an excellent relationship with my boys and I believe she's jealous of that.

For me Aspergers has it's pros and cons - the pros are that I'm now coming to understand myself.. the cons are other peoples' problem and I'm content to simply ignore them wherever possible.

This isn't going to go away, it's who I am, in fact I fervently hope it will enrich my life.

 

[Larisa]

With years passing by I'm getting better in understanding myself and the anxiety of my teen-years turned into social tension and seclusion because I realized that all my life I idealized the way of living and thinking of 'normal' people. They are not what they elaborately try to appear.
I'm not dissapointed in all the humankind - I have friends and I consider the thoughts and opinions of many people - to think later about things they said and real facts they told about.
I'm stressed when I have to listen to some non-sense to please my boss. I find people in power (like directors of the companies I had to work with (I'm an accountant)) absolutely lunatic and unreasonable, greedy and petty - to the point of being sadistic to underline their power over their subordinates.
I'm stressed and feel endangered because I can not stop speaking aloud what I see and think - even as I try 'not to attract attention', 'not to judge', 'to mind my own business' and stop noticing the way some people treating others. But I rationally know that watching other people being humiliated and abused by other people - does not save me from the chance to become once just another victim of this 'working relationship'.
I'm getting depressed being around people because there are so few people I do not suffer being near with: their work of mind, their reason, their actions and their honesty.
I love these people and I try to keep in touch with them - because I receive strong support from their very existance in the reality. Sometimes I get support from them, sometimes I can offer mine - to them.
I call these people my friends and mostly they call me 'friend' as well.
So as I got older I started to realise the absurdity and hypocrisy of most people's behavoir and backdraws of the human society which I had admired when I idolized haughty people. I thought back then these people REALLY had some super abilities to back their atitude.
I got to know better.
Every human being can be a universe of thoughts, ideas, humor, choices - but in order to squeeze into pompous social roles and get more money - most of them suffocate their personalities.
I find it to be very sad.
I try to keep myself being able to feel and to think rationally - to live my life alive. But near most people it's very painful and distressful for me.
So I try to keep contact with people with whom I feel more emotionally safe and with whom I ca be as honest as I can afford myself (to not harm their feelings, opinions and believes).

 

[Cerulean]

I know mine have changed, mostly as the social expectations of life change as you age. When you're a kid you make friends everywhere, and if you don't, it's weird and you stand out. As an adult, my parents don't know or worry themselves with how many friends I have or who they are, I just kind of tend to my own social life.