Magna - I'm sorry you thought I approved but I totally agree with you. I wrote a good paragraph on what I told my son for the another forum. What I mean is in my first post in this thread that so many parents miss, that I saw in my neighbors son's face.
First, what I know of ABA. It is far more advanced than Skinner, it is many, many years after the fact. Skinner just pioneering behaviorism. ABA is a scientific approach to behavior modification. In behaviorism, what is inside the person is not considered, only the behavior. A typical behavior is hand flapping for soothing. Since this is unusual behavior, it attracts attention, and to be honest, it causes fear. The people feeling this fear are the majority and will reject and discriminate based on it. Using a very specific scientific approach, this behavior is identified and a treatment plan of positive reinforcement for a alternate behavior is put in place. It is then quantitively tracked for progress. An ABA report can seem bizarre the first time you see it. Why do the care if flaps his hands 10% less then when we started? Why do we care if he uses scissors correctly 20% more than before? The point is specific measurable progress versus "I think it is going okay I bet". There is a big problem. There really isn't anything wrong with flapping your hands to soothe yourself. It is just the way you express yourself. It would be far better if we all went to Mall and flapped our hands until it became normal and people were no longer afraid. We need their cooperation. Just go to court or school or apply for a job. (I work for a Autistic boss, ha ha take that ABA!). It indicates to the child he is special, not normal. Other kids are not doing ABA. Why does he have to change? What is wrong with this? You have to tell him it is okay to be this way. You see now, the relief on my neighbors kid's face. That it is okay to be the way he is. That is what I was doing. I told my son I joined Autism Speaks. A group that will teach everyone it is okay to be this way. The look on his face broke my heart and he hugged me. This is what he needed.
For now, the world isn't perfect. I told him to do his ABA, to learn what he can. In the same time, we will do this other thing. I am going to tell every Autistic kid I can. ( I have to be realistic, many times it isn't possible. Parents believe their kids should be shielded. If only they knew their kids already know. If only they would give them credit. I have this unreal memory. I remember everything when I was 6. I knew then).
So tell your niece. This is why you do ABA. Be candid. This is why we do Autism speaks. My son had no problem with it, because I didn't. If it is a sore spot with you, or you are afraid you will hurt them. You have to work through it first or you can cause damage. 90% of people will not do it because they will not face it. This is a cruel reality, which is why people like us stand up and reap the rewards.
