AngelaS267
Well-Known Member
Well... As the title states, I am struggling to find a job where I feel professional where I can grow because I don't talk very much at work. For any place I've ever worked (I've had 3 jobs in my adult life.) I naturally don't feel like talking that much and it can be very draining to hold even basic conversations with people especially if I'm having an off day. But then there's also the issue of me being afraid to handle customer service anything for any position because I'm not very natural at conversations, and I start to become frazzled when I'm maybe met with a question that I don't know how to answer for someone. Heck, even if I did know the answer I just become panicked.
I've always known I wanted to avoid jobs that require me to be front and center or leading anything because I get a dreaded feeling at the thought of having to participate in a meeting, or be responsible for managing anything. When I first got into the work force as a young 20 something, I wasn't as worried about it but when I had my first serious job, I noticed that I struggled to communicate with people. I struggled to progress while my counterparts eventually gained the confidence to grow in the company. And this was a job I actually enjoyed. They were wonderful people, and I think that they picked up on the fact that I needed accommodations and tried to give me opportunities to grow where I was still comfortable.
But even then, my team member was able to participate in meetings and I never got there. She became salaried after a year, and I stayed hourly the whole time I stayed there (4 years). I felt comfortable doing desk work and sticking with the work that had been familiar to me but I knew I wasn't growing and my shortcomings as a professional started to become more apparent. I have so many parameters in place to keep me from having to be seen by people and failing miserably in front of a them to the point where I then shamefully have to quit a job while I'm sure the people are thinking, yea that girl was a bit of a weirdo.
I want to avoid where my potential incompetence can be put on display. Now I am seeking a new career path. I want to be a career woman, but while I've been searching, I've just shut down a lot of potentially good options because I know that my weak spot is leadership and verbal communication. And it's so discouraging because I want to get out of my comfort zone and allow myself to learn to grow in a company but humiliation after humiliation, and eventually feeling completely incompetent has started to make me feel like the best thing I can do is find a job with basic computer work where I'm out of the way but they all pay absolute crumbs....
And I'm approaching 30. I found out I was on the spectrum at 23, and since then my differences have become so loud to me now that I'm an adult and feel far behind everyone. I just wanted to know if people had the same struggles job searching and maybe some good alternatives where I can develop a career path that I can feel proud of. Or maybe tools you guys use for your jobs that make it easier for you to be included. I'm still searching and won't give up.
I've always known I wanted to avoid jobs that require me to be front and center or leading anything because I get a dreaded feeling at the thought of having to participate in a meeting, or be responsible for managing anything. When I first got into the work force as a young 20 something, I wasn't as worried about it but when I had my first serious job, I noticed that I struggled to communicate with people. I struggled to progress while my counterparts eventually gained the confidence to grow in the company. And this was a job I actually enjoyed. They were wonderful people, and I think that they picked up on the fact that I needed accommodations and tried to give me opportunities to grow where I was still comfortable.
But even then, my team member was able to participate in meetings and I never got there. She became salaried after a year, and I stayed hourly the whole time I stayed there (4 years). I felt comfortable doing desk work and sticking with the work that had been familiar to me but I knew I wasn't growing and my shortcomings as a professional started to become more apparent. I have so many parameters in place to keep me from having to be seen by people and failing miserably in front of a them to the point where I then shamefully have to quit a job while I'm sure the people are thinking, yea that girl was a bit of a weirdo.
I want to avoid where my potential incompetence can be put on display. Now I am seeking a new career path. I want to be a career woman, but while I've been searching, I've just shut down a lot of potentially good options because I know that my weak spot is leadership and verbal communication. And it's so discouraging because I want to get out of my comfort zone and allow myself to learn to grow in a company but humiliation after humiliation, and eventually feeling completely incompetent has started to make me feel like the best thing I can do is find a job with basic computer work where I'm out of the way but they all pay absolute crumbs....
And I'm approaching 30. I found out I was on the spectrum at 23, and since then my differences have become so loud to me now that I'm an adult and feel far behind everyone. I just wanted to know if people had the same struggles job searching and maybe some good alternatives where I can develop a career path that I can feel proud of. Or maybe tools you guys use for your jobs that make it easier for you to be included. I'm still searching and won't give up.
