Samantha mcbay
Active Member
So I have 3 children. My eldest 2 are bright, bubbly, sweet, very outgoing and they love people. And though this can sometimes be quite hard for me because they always want to be at the centre of EVERYTHING and I just don't, I've always encouraged it and been so thankful and glad that they are this way because they don't have to have the same struggles as I have had. If I can give them that then I'll know I've always done well by them. My life has not been a happy one for numerous reasons and I don't want them to live what I have lived. However, My youngest of the 3 is 4 years old and maybe I am not very switched on and maybe I should have seen it sooner, but over the last year I've seen behaviours in him that have me concerned that he seems to be struggling with the same things I did. He has always reacted differently to other people than my other 2 children. He's always hated people getting in his face and he's always been quite clinging with me, and quite choosy with people that he will and will not talk to. He's never liked other people trying to pick him up or hold him, and he likes interactions on his own terms. He's not allowed to hit but he has hit people before for getting too much into his own space. The only person he will be physically affectionate is with me. He loves big bear hugs and kisses and he's very sweet. But he's only like that with me. He gets embarrassed quite easily and is standoffish in new environments or around new people but he is also very assertive, and he likes things done is his own way. When he was little he didn't like playing with kids of his own age group. He always wanted to be with the bigger kids. I take my children to church nearly ever weekend and my other 2 love it, but my youngest hates it. He used to settle down fairly ok when his brother and sister were in there with him but they've moved up a class. And now it's getting so much worse to the point where last week I had to literally drag him in with me. I wasn't going to leave him there alone I was going in with him. Another lady that we know fairly well tried to take him because he was screaming and he just didn't want to go but when she went to get him he just became scared. His little face was terrified. I don't want to take him back ever again. Because of his assertiveness, and maybe because the other behaviours just make sense to me that I've just dismissed his other behaviours as nothing to be concerned about. Like not wanted people getting too close or being wary of different people it makes sense to me because that's who I am and so that didn't seem to be something to be concerned about especially since unlike me he has a very assertive personality and I was always very timid. But he's starting to show more and more behaviours that are very similar to me. How can I help him, I couldn't even help myself. I don't know how to help him. From my own experience I know forcing him into situations he doesn't like will not help him it only make thing worse, so I refuse to do that to him anymore. It makes me grieve for his life because I know how sad and lonely this life is. How does a Mum who may be Asperger's help her child who may also be Asperger's? Autism runs in my family. My brother and both his sons are on the spectrum. My grandfather may have also been on the spectrum. We didn't know about the family history until resently when my nephews were not meeting any of their milestones. I had never really known what autism or Aspergers was until my friend and my brother were told that their children may have autism. My friend's son has just been officially diagnosed, and my brother doesn't want to push for a diagnosis for his sons. I hadn't given it any great thought because I thought it didn't affect me, it affected them not me. I had not even considered it to be something that would ever effect me. I just thought I was unbearably shy and timid until my friend had said a lot of my behaviours are very similar to Aspergers. I took the Aspergers test and they all measured with positive results for Aspergers. I have not yet tried to be officially diagnosed because truth be told I'm a little frightened. But now heart just grieves for the possibility of what my son may have to go through. I honestly pray he doesn't have to.
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