Resenting where my life is at.

[Jonn]

I feel like I would rather die than live with the endless running tapes in my head reminding me of all that I have lived through.

I just don't look back.
Virtually every memory is tainted with unpleasantness.
Solution?
Live in the present.
It works for me.

 

[Metalhead]

I just don't look back.
Virtually every memory is tainted with unpleasantness.
Solution?
Live in the present.
It works for me.

I wish that for one moment without distraction, I could forget about the sexual humiliations I endured as a child. This cannot be healthy.

 

[Jonn]

I wish that for one moment without distraction, I could forget about the sexual humiliations I endured as a child. This cannot be healthy.

I am leaning towards giving transcendental meditation (or meditation light) another go.
I found it impossible when I was full of caffeine.

My particular problem revolves around intrusive thoughts, and the meditation discipline would go a long way to help with that.

Also:
As they say:
"If you are eating an apple, focus on eating the apple."

 

[Metalhead]

Some people in my family deserve to die. Coerced bestiality and then having the rest of the family cover it up because the aunt is so unhappy. But if the aunt is so unhappy that is justifies such behavior, maybe she should consider euthanizing herself.