@Streetwise
I think the never being able to ask for help plays a part in my answer to why don't I often pray for myself. I guess I do and I don't. I don't ask for things. I don't feel the need to because God knows before I even need it what I'm going to need so I trust Him with all things concerning myself. I learned this a long time ago from different examples, but I'll share a couple.
After I went out on disability. I was still married but my husband would not help out financially with the house, bills or groceries. (He used to, but stopped). Well, my disability insurance stopped, but I was still waiting for social security to accept my claim. So there was a couple months I had nothing coming in, had nothing saved, no way I would be able to pay anything. Well, I received a check in the mail - complete surprise to me - from a lawsuit from a company I dealt with years ago and never thought any more about it. Is it possible that God knew I would need it when I did, so years ago led me to do this so I would be taken care of when I needed it? I believe so.
When I was with my second husband (the con artist) we moved around a lot - Montana, Alaska, Utah, etc, etc. All those moves I never knew anyone and was content just me and my baby. But when we lived in Bozeman, Mt I decided to go to church there and I met a few people, though didn't get too close to anyone. (For one thing we were living under an assumed name and I knew we wouldn't be there long), but I went. So a year or so later, I was living in Ohio - 2 babies now. Police pulled up - they were very kind and waited for my mom to come to take care of my babies and were apologetic for having to take me in. I was released on my word that I would go to Bozeman and turn myself in. I did (spent 3 months talking to the FBI there). But the people at the church that I went to took us in (me, my mom and my babies), giving us a place to live while we were there. The preacher (I would not have known this about) dealt a lot with the police and judges in Bozeman. It was kind of unbelievable how everything worked out to the smallest detail. Why did it end in Bozeman? And that is where that all ended. But my husband was wanted in multiple states and federal, so it could have been anywhere.
No one could ever tell me that God was not in charge of my life. He knew the best place for all that to end and prepared the way. So why would I ask for something when I already know that God already has it taken care of?
But I'm not completely left out of my prayers. I am thankful for everything. I ask for forgiveness and strength and wisdom. But mostly try to remember those that probably don't have prayers going up for them.
I also learned many many years ago that sometimes prayers are not answered until I have the right attitude. After returning from Bozeman, I was living with my mom and hated it and would pray for help getting out of there. Nothing happened. Then my attitude changed, my reasons changed in my heart and I knew to have a better relationship with my mom, instead of the bitter one I was having, I needed just a little distance. Immediately an apartment came available for both of us. We were neighbors and our relationship improved drastically. I first was praying for selfish reasons.
Anyhow - I could go on and on with examples, but you get the idea. Even the autism thing - I always questioned what was wrong with me, but had to do what I had to do and probably would have given up if I had the excuse of autism. So late in life, God gave me my answers for my own relief, AFTER I had already done what I needed to do.
I think the never being able to ask for help plays a part in my answer to why don't I often pray for myself. I guess I do and I don't. I don't ask for things. I don't feel the need to because God knows before I even need it what I'm going to need so I trust Him with all things concerning myself. I learned this a long time ago from different examples, but I'll share a couple.
After I went out on disability. I was still married but my husband would not help out financially with the house, bills or groceries. (He used to, but stopped). Well, my disability insurance stopped, but I was still waiting for social security to accept my claim. So there was a couple months I had nothing coming in, had nothing saved, no way I would be able to pay anything. Well, I received a check in the mail - complete surprise to me - from a lawsuit from a company I dealt with years ago and never thought any more about it. Is it possible that God knew I would need it when I did, so years ago led me to do this so I would be taken care of when I needed it? I believe so.
When I was with my second husband (the con artist) we moved around a lot - Montana, Alaska, Utah, etc, etc. All those moves I never knew anyone and was content just me and my baby. But when we lived in Bozeman, Mt I decided to go to church there and I met a few people, though didn't get too close to anyone. (For one thing we were living under an assumed name and I knew we wouldn't be there long), but I went. So a year or so later, I was living in Ohio - 2 babies now. Police pulled up - they were very kind and waited for my mom to come to take care of my babies and were apologetic for having to take me in. I was released on my word that I would go to Bozeman and turn myself in. I did (spent 3 months talking to the FBI there). But the people at the church that I went to took us in (me, my mom and my babies), giving us a place to live while we were there. The preacher (I would not have known this about) dealt a lot with the police and judges in Bozeman. It was kind of unbelievable how everything worked out to the smallest detail. Why did it end in Bozeman? And that is where that all ended. But my husband was wanted in multiple states and federal, so it could have been anywhere.
No one could ever tell me that God was not in charge of my life. He knew the best place for all that to end and prepared the way. So why would I ask for something when I already know that God already has it taken care of?
But I'm not completely left out of my prayers. I am thankful for everything. I ask for forgiveness and strength and wisdom. But mostly try to remember those that probably don't have prayers going up for them.
I also learned many many years ago that sometimes prayers are not answered until I have the right attitude. After returning from Bozeman, I was living with my mom and hated it and would pray for help getting out of there. Nothing happened. Then my attitude changed, my reasons changed in my heart and I knew to have a better relationship with my mom, instead of the bitter one I was having, I needed just a little distance. Immediately an apartment came available for both of us. We were neighbors and our relationship improved drastically. I first was praying for selfish reasons.
Anyhow - I could go on and on with examples, but you get the idea. Even the autism thing - I always questioned what was wrong with me, but had to do what I had to do and probably would have given up if I had the excuse of autism. So late in life, God gave me my answers for my own relief, AFTER I had already done what I needed to do.
